h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Stephen I am very sorry to hear about your problems with your laptop .

Hi OldRustbucket.

One day a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead snuck into a farm.
The farmer said to his wife, "I think I hear something outside."
The girls heard the door open,and they all ran in different directions.
The brunette ran into the cow pen. The redhead ran into the pig pen, and the blonde ran into the potato patch.
The farmer went to the cow pen and said,"Is there anyone there?" The brunette said,"Mmmmmmmoooooo."
Then he went over to the pig pen and the farmer said, "Is there anyone there?" and the redhead said, "Oink oink."
Then he went over to the potato patch and said, "Is there anyone there?" and the blonde said, "Potatooooo."

To sum up: wind-up merchants were pedalling red-herrings to a bunch of kangaroos who kept coming back for more, thus giving the wind-up merchants an immense kick into the bargain who therefore kept up more of.

Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
- You answer the door before people knock.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."

A blonde says to a brunette, ''Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt.''

The brunette says, ''Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup.''

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a cup of coffee.
I'll be with you in an instant.

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a cup of tea.
What's got into you?
Milk and two sugars!

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Alec !
Alec who ?
Alec coffee, but I don't like tea !

Kat, have you seen these places ?

A617735
A3529488
star trek stuff

and this one
F1994453?thread=568516&skip=3500&show=20

you might want to re-open the Star Trek natter in there

Thanks for the links, Animal. I have not seen the Star Trek jokes pages.

your welcome love

in the white box top right, under "search h2g2" if you put star trek in there and press enter, there are loads of threads on star trek

Animal, I have even tried learning Klingon.

I'm towing speaking english

Animal I am try to learn a few Klingon insults translated into English.

that's no good for Australia fair dinkum Bruce

Animal I wonder what do you call a man called Bruce? Bruce Bruce
or a woman called Sheila, Sheila Sheila.

http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/bruces.htm

It's a very funny Monty Python Sketch

I saw on another comedy sketch a field of Bruce Forsyths being kept as cattle.