h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

While fishhooks I'm baiting

3

JOTD: Help stamp out rape! (Say Yes)

And I'm suffering an incurable disease
---------------
The bets lim'ricks were written by Lear

Spike Milligan's were good, so I Hear

But not those of McGonnigal,

which were something chronic(al)

And ones by the Jester I fear.
**********************************
There was a young man far from Perth

3

JOTD: I have a very firm grasp on reality. I can reach out and strangle it any time.

Who fell off the edge of the Earth.

He cursed the day

3

JOTD: Knights are hardly worth it. I mean, all that shell and so little meat...

I pondered the wages,

(Minesweep Goddess fell into the same trap as Merkin, and posted a continuation to the end of the "first 20"... I suspect we should let that one slip by...)

he heard his Mum say

"I wish I'd strangled you at Birth!"
-----------------------
In my belly button I found something scary

It was small; it was round; it was hairy...

It looked like the stuff

3

JOTD: Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off

that was known as "fluff"

Either that, or my sister's canary.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
I had a parrot, but it died.

Because it thought I had lied

3

JOTD: Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

It was a sad misunderstanding

and so odly demanding

Because it ended up fried.
******************************
A young man at university

3

JOTD: Please do not look directly into laser with remaining eye.