h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Good idea, Olaf. Yes! A good versus evil sporting competition. I had been thinking of tag wrestling or origami but tennis. Yes it has possibilities.

But could we spice it up a bit please? All that to-ing and fro-ing, fro-ing and to-ing, to-ing and fro-ing, blah de blah de blah.

How about blindfold tennis roulette, where, at random moments during a game between two blindfolded players, the umpire throws a live grenade into the court?

Ok, sounds good to me. I'll volunteer for umpire - we just need two or four players.
Volunteers, at the court, forthwith.
*noise of rummaging inside vest for tennis rules and hand grenades*

Well don't look at me...I may be Hesitant but I'm not entirely stupid.

I volunteer Evil Giraffe, Loz, Dissy and Fate (wherever she may have got to).

Sounds like an opportunity to rip off a few passers by ...

'Roll up, roll up. Get you delicious strawberries here. Only £1 each with a free drop of lovely fresh cream on every one!!'

Or £2 with a special Elmlea whirl. (Differentiation is key.)

I think we're onto a winner with this one

Sudden idea, let me run it up the flagpole and see if you want to salute it:

Let's call this product "Strawberries and cream".

Thats ... er ... inspired. I'm astounded by your creative imagination. Do you think it's catchy enough though?

If we buy up the rights to the product now we could market it all over the known universe - and beyond.

He he he - we're going to be rich!!

Origami Butt Tennis? What he hell is that?!?

Two contestants stand a few yards apart, butts facing. The umpire then inserts a sheet of ordinary A4 paper into the butt designated "server". The "server" then folds the paper once using cheek power only, then "passes" the paper to the second butt (designated "receiver"). The "receiver" then imposes a fold upon the paper and then "passes" the paper back to the "server". This process continues until a paper "swan" emerges ... or someone receives a nasty paper cut.

Is there such a thing aas a nice paper cut?
Are these "butts" clothed or unclothed?
We are in mixed company and it maybe that some of the "hesitant" goodies may have so much body hair that they would be the equivalent position of playing with boxing gloves.

Does he mean me?

Sorry I didn't see you there. Have you been tippling with that potion again? Was one of the side effects an increase in your hirsuitedness?

*Whispers - you should perhaps read my journal entry on hair and sticky tape*

I will certainly read your esteemed entry, but first let me inform you that in Tugnafia it is considered fashionable to be able to plait one's, um, bottom fluff, to a length of two centimetres in some cases.

We believe in having the pigtail where it ought to be.

We could sell tickets to view!
Teh ancient Tugnafian art of Bum Fluffery. Excellent, Carry on!

Old Bodger Bilberry once set light to his and did a marvellous impression of a firecracker. We were cleaning bits of him off the walls for months afterwards. What a jape!

We should play tennis with a mined court.

Thanks for the unintentional tip on facial hair and sticky tape Vesto, that'll make my job simpler.
Evil G - I was on an evil holiday. But I'm back now.. Mwa mwa mwa... Be afraid, be very afraid...

Why am I to be afraid, to be very afraid?

=B>