h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Punts Woogy.*

Yeah, we really mean no harm, we're just looking for portals back to our respective universes.

[Laguna] OR 2 FIDN JO!!111!1!11!11

[Odin] Ye gods, what language is THAT!?

[Corrigible] It's called "AOLglish" for varrious reasons.

They're the only ones really fluent...

[Myau] [whose mouth moves differently from the way humans' do] I'm awlmost afraad t'ask wat y'mean bai "flu'nt."

[Corrigible] It's probably best if you didn't.

Exactly...

So! Have you seen any portals while wondering around?

[Alis] Um, no. On the other hand, I don't think we've been in the cave behind you in a while ...

[Corrigible and smacks his forehead.]

This is going to be another one of those "Maze of twisty passages" deals again, isn't it?

[Odin] Don't worry! I made a map while we were there. It was hard to get through. [hands a map to Corrigible]

[[Got Map x1!]

[Corrigible] Great! Thanks. I guess.

*Takes out a flashlight, and shines it into the cave.*

So- are we going in?

*Leads the way.*

[Corrigible] ... Sure, why not.

[He follows after her. Switch back to the first-person view.]

[Corrigible's Voice] Okay, lemme look at the map here ... ah ... Okay, I'll take the lead.

[They go down the cave a bit, but suddenly a single image of a fly-ish creature appears. At the bottom of the screen is some battle dialoges, apparently for CORR, SCAN, LAGN, and WOOG.]

[Corrigible's Voice] ... Okay, they REALLY didn't bother trying to come up with something good for the four-letter maximum here.

*Looks at the bottom of the screen, pulls out a permanent marker, and finishes writing her name. She then pulls the cheffinator, and holds it at the ready.*

What? I'm a hero! I'm not supposed to attack first!

[Corrigible] Yes, but you still need to input your battle commands so we can fight these, um, "SWORM."

Like I said, I've never played this game before!

*Opts to wait for the SWORM to strike, and stands ready.*

DEFEND?

[Corrigible] *sigh* ... You have NO concept of how RPGs work.

[Corrigible attacks. This is expressed by a short animation of a glowing red "slash" to represent his lightsaber appearing across the SWORM for a moment. Laguna has a similar one, except that it is grey and not glowing. The SWORM attacks by spitting something out, it looks like. It hits Scandrea. Woogy attacks by bouncing towards it and ramming into it.]

Owww...

*Looks at green goop covering her.* Ewwww!

*A red dot appears on the sworm to indicate the Chefinator being fired at it.*

[There's a flash, and it fades away. A message indicates how much EXP and meseta has been gained.

Hmm... That was easy...

*Continues to extract herself from the green glop.*

[Corrigible] They're not exactly the toughest enemies around.

[The goop fades away, too.]

[Corrigible] Okay ... according to the map, we should go left at the next turn ...

[Woogy bounces past and grabs the map (somehow).]

[Corrigible] ... Hey!

[Woogy keeps going and heads right.]

[Corrigible] Or ... not.

Get back here!

Honestly, this is no time for foolishness! We've got to get home!

*Runs after Woogy, and skids to a stop around the next corner.*

[Woogy immediately charges the other way, down the passage they're SUPPOSED to go down, dropping the map along the way. He goes around a bend and out of sight.]