h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Leaving sounds like a plan...

[Yeagar] Next time, we attack a gazeebo with more good stuff and less arms!

[Right! Anyway, like I was saying, obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, and OFF THATAWAY. ARTAX, YEAGAR, PIFFANY, and NODWICK start moving NORTH.]

Shall we follow?

[Corrigible] [shrugs] I dunno ... that part seems to be over. What about off thataway?

[Woogy is already bouncing off-thatawaywards.]

All right

*Brandishes chefinator in case of any more gazeebos.*

[You go OFF THATAWAY. You find yourself in a small copse with a glowing portal in the middle. Without hesitation, WOOGY jumps into the portal.]

*Hearing no signs of distress from Woogy, Scandrea jumps through as well.*

[You find yourself in a maze of twisty passages, all alike. You are looking straight down a bricked-up passageway. No one can be seen.]

[Corrigible's Voice] Uh, hang on a sec, where ... oh, great, we're in Phantasy Star.

I've never played that one before.

[Corrigible's Voice] Um, the first one has first-person dungeons.

[Woogy's Voice] YEZZ INDEEEEEEE!D!!1!11

[The screen ponderously rotates ninety degrees to the left; the wall fills up the view. Another ninety degrees, and it's facing a doorway with stairs.]

[Corrigible's Voice] There we go.

[The screen moves forward, then fades out. Fade in on Corrigible, Scandrea, Woogy, and Laguna standing outside.]

[Corrigible] Whew ... good thing we were right near the exit. [looks around] Okay, we seem to be on the planet Palma, which is going to be destroyed in about a thousand years. I think.

*Stumbling around dizzy from the screens changing around so fast.*

You /think/? You had better be right!

[Corrigible] Just gimme a second ... um ...

[He looks off into the distance. A girl in pink, an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator in armor, an androgynous blue-haired person in white robes, and what appears to be a yellow cat are walking along.]

[Corrigible] Yep, it'll be a thousand years.

Ah... good...

Seriously, I've never played this game.

Who are they?

[Corrigible] They're ... Alis Landale, the warrior Odin, Noah (aka Lutz), and Myau the Musk-Cat.

*Waves*

They are the good guys, right?</>

[Corrigible] Well, given that they're fighting in opposition against a tyrannical ruler who opresses the stuffing out of towns and who killed Alis's brother for snooping in on his affairs ...

[Woogy] YEZZ INDEEEEEEE!D!!1!1

[Corrigible] Woogy, just because that's your catchphrase doesn't mean you have to say it every twelve seconds.

[Woogy] I SORY!!11!1!1

*Puts away chefinator.*

Hi! You wouldn't happen to see any portals around, would you?

[Lutz] [as the four approach] I suppose that depends on how you know so much about us.

[Alis] Yes. [draws sword] I'd be interested to know that, as well.

[Corrigible] Um ... Well ... [whisper] Crap, this is from a less comedic and more realistic world. Got anny suggestions?

Erm... yeah... RUN!

[Woogy suddenly looms menacingly in front of her.]

[Woogy] SILENS WOMMON!!!11!1!1!111

[Odin] [raising his axe] What the hell ...!?

[Corrigible] Quit it, Woogy! [to the heroes] Um, look ... I'm from an alternate universe in which, uh, the four of you are the heroes of a video game. It's all right if you don't believe me.

[Alis] Y'know, call me gullible, but after this "Woogy" guy, I'm prepared to believe /anything/.