h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Corrigible] Offhand, I'd say it's ... that.

[He points. At the end of the passage is some sort of dimensional portal, looking out of place in this universe.]

[Laguna] J0 MUSTA GON IN TEHRE!1!1!11!!!

[Corrigible] Ya think?

*Walks up to the portal.*

This thing? Ohhh, no way am I going in there!

[Corrigible] Hmm ... [walks right up to it] Okay ... I don't sense any danger. And anyway, wherever we go can't be worse than /this/ universe.

*Turns and notices giant Pringles cans coming toward them rapidly.*

Point taken!

*Pushes Laguna and Corrigible through, and follows.*

[The screen fades to white. Then pan down to Laguna, Scandrea, and Corrigible in the whiteness.]

[Corrigible] What is this, the Construct?

The huh?

I don't know- maybe it's Purgatory: not bad. Not good, but not bad either.

*Leans back and floats for a little bit.*

[Corrigible] Y'know, the Construct. Like in the Matrix.

[A stick figure walks into the area.]

[Stick Figure] Blah.

[There is an explosion and his head goes flying (no blood). It lands a moment later.]

[Corrigible] ......

I didn't see that in the Matrix...

[Corrigible] Um ... me neither.

[A second stick figure walks in]

[Stick Figure #2] ... Blah?

[As before; there's an explosion, blowing his head off.]

[Corrigible] Oh crap ... we're in the Demented Cartoon Movie.

... and that means...?

Got a link?

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/demented.php

Watch out, though -- it's almost half an hour long.


[Corrigible] It means that, within this universe, Earth is going to blow up at least ten times before we've gotten out of here.

[Laguna] O DAM!!1!!1!!!111

[Two more stick figures arrive]

[Third Stick Figure] Blah!

[Fourth Stick Figure] Blah!

[Well, YOU know what happens to them]

So let's get out of here!

[Corrigible] Right!

[He runs off towards the right, then hurriedly comes by and runs off towards the left. A crowd of stick figures walks into view from the right.]

[Crowd] Blah! Blah! Blah! [etc]

[Their head a splode.]

*Grabs Laguna, and runs after Corrigible to avoid exploding head shrapnel.*

[Laguna] OMG WTF!!11!!1!1

[Corrigible comes to a sudden halt] Wait ... [points at something off camera] I ... think we're in for a complete-lack-of-transition shortly ...

[Cut to a cartoonish view of a building with a sign saying "QRRBRBIRLBEL THEATER!!!!!!!!!" It appears to be in a city with a road in front of it. The back of Corrigible's head is quite close to the camera.]

*Steps out from behind Corrigible for a better view.*

I haven't seen this one yet. Care to go in?

[Corrigible] Um ... sure.

[They go inside. Cut to the stage, which features the infamous balcony scene, acted out by stick figures, from Romeo & Juliet.]

[Romeo] Oh Juliet ...

[Juliet] Oh Romeo ... [produces a bomb from nowhere] Catch!

[She tosses the bomb, which blows up Romeo. Buzzer sounds.]

[Director] [rushing in from Stage Left; he has a faint accent of some sort] Cut! Juliet! How many more fricking times do I have to tell you not to throw any bombs!

[Juliet] [defensive] I can't help it!

[Director] Rrrghhh ... Somebody bring out the Auto Romeo Maker!

...

*Stands behind Laguna and Corrigible.*

[A stick figure pushes in a large machine on wheels with the words "AUTO ROMEO MAKER!!!!!!" and a large button on the side. He pushes the button. *BEEP* A cartoonish puff of smoke (a single frame) with the word "POOF!" in the middle appears, accompanied by an apathetic voice saying "Poof." It then vanishes, revealing another Romeo.]

[Director] Great! And remember: no more bomb throwing!

[Juliet] Okay, okay!

[Exit director, stagehand, and Auto Romeo Maker, stage left.]

[Romeo] Oh Juliet ...

[Juliet] Oh Romeo ... have a nice day.

[She pulls a chord. A large 16-ton weight with the words "MR. WEIGHT" spraypainted on the side slams down on top of Romeo. *BZZT*]

[Director] [rushing back in again] D'haa! What did I tell you!?

[Juliet] Hey, it wasn't bomb-throwing ...

This is...

...odd