h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Scandrea wanders in, still looking for Corrigible.*

Hmm... hope I haven't got myself in over my head...

*Thus jinxing herself.*

[A hovering cat's head jumps down to land on Scandrea]

[Good Kitty] DETH FRMO ABOVA!!!1!

Yaagh!

*Scandrea tries to dive out of the way.*

[Good Kitty] WUT R U DONG HEER SUPREHEROIEN????!?!

[A blue square with a red triangle atop it with the word "ARFENHOUSE!!!!!11" in white letters suddenly descends from the sky.]

I'm looking for Darth Corrigible, about yay high, wearing a Darth Vader mask... you seen him?

*Trying to pretend that this is what passes for normal.*

[Good Kitty] UM NO LOL!!!!1!!1! LETS GO IN AND ASK TEH OHUSEMASETR AND TEH DOG FI HTEY KONW!1!11!!1! [goes into the Arfenhouse]

*Looks around.* Can't they come out here where I've got some running space?

[Several large Pringles cans start charging towards Scandrea.]

[Cans] BUHHHHH!!! BUHHH!!!

[A brightly-colored figure with a head that seems to be made of toast leans out of the Arfenhouse; he is the Housemaster.]

[Housemaster] TEH BUHS R COMNG!!!1 QUIK!!1!1 COEM INSIED1!!1!11

*Shrugs.*

*Stupidly (possibly) runs inside.*

What were those things?

[Housemaster] THAY WEER TEH BUHS!111!1! BUT ANYWAYS WALCOME 2 TEH ARFENHOUES!11! I M TEH HOUSEMAST3R AND THIS IS GOOD KITY!11!!!11

[Good Kitty] [jumping down towards Scandrea from above] DETH FRMO ABOVA!!!1!

*Good Kitty lands on Scandrea.*

Owww....

*She peels herself off the floor.*

Can you help me? I'm looking for a guy named Darth Corrigible. He's wearing a Darth Vader mask. Have you seen him?

[Housemaster] UM ... I REMAMBR SOEMOEN LIEK TAHT BUT HE RNA OF WHAN BILY ATAKED!!11!

[Woogy -- a circular blue guy who looks something ... oh, what the heck, just go to http://www.disasterlabs.com/, watch the Arfenhouse movies, and find out for yourself what he looks like! Anyway, er, he leans into the room.]

[Woogy] JOE IS NOT ON TIHS PLANET1!1!1

[Housemaster] TEHN W3 MUST GO 2 TEH MOON1!1!1!11

[A badly-drawn pikachu also arives.]

[Pikachu] PIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKAPIKPAIKAPAPPAAPAPKAPIKAPIKAPI.

*Looking around nervously.*

I think I'll take your word for it...

*Runs for the exit, wherever that might be...*

[The Dog chases after her.]

[Dog] W00F!!!11!!1!!1!! TEHRE IS NO TIME TO WSATE! WE MSUT RUSH TO TEH INASURANCE PLCAE!!!!!111!!!!1

[Good Kitty] [jumping down and landing on Dog from above] DETH FRMO ABOVA!!!1!

[Housemaster] TIHS WAY!!!!1!!11 [starts running

... down a cartoonish street. ]

*Stops suddenly.*

Now where am I?

[The giant Pringles cans start barreling down towards her from the opposite direction Housemaster went.]

[Cans] BUHHHH!!!! BUHHHHH!!!!

AAAAH!

*Runs after the Housemaster.*

[Cut to a very badly drawn cartoonish building with "HOMOWNURZ INSHURANZ" scrawled on the front. Cut to the inside; the Housemaster is talking to the Pincushion Man, accompanied by Woogy, the Dog, and Good Kitty.]

[Pincushion Man] I KAN GET j00 2 TEH M00N 4 A PRAIIS!!11!!1

[Housemaster] I MAKJE U LIV WIHT JOE ADN BILLY IF U DONT TAEK US!!!11

[Pincushion Man] 0KAY, TAHT WROKS 4 ME!!!!11!!1!

[Blue letters saying "The deal was made successfully" appears. The background abruptly changes to a scene on the moon, and Scandrea is standing there as well.]

[Second Good Kitty] [jumping down and landing next to the first one from above] DETH FRMO ABOVA!!!1!

[The first one is scribbled out.]

*Scandrea is confused, looking for giant pringles cans.*

I wonder where that improbability generator is?