h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Post a photo please or I might have something to grumble about

You can always grumble about the mockingbird not showing up sooner.

I always got a kick out of getting a report on local activity when I've been out from the resident mocking bird.

They can't do much with voice or tonality, but they're very adept at rhythm, capturing the rhythm of a chugging engine, a barking dog, a laughing child, well enough one can tell which vehicle, dog or child etc. was by in one's absence.

Haven't got any about at the moment.

all we got round here are bloody pigeons and ringed doves, bill and cooing - where's the howitzer

The mocking birds annoyed me big time, but I found the perfect retaliation: I hung mirrors on all garden walls so they can't escape mocking themselves

Mockingbirds are the State bird of Texas, but I prefer our broad-tailed grackles. Most people consider them nuisances, but I think they're very attractive with their iridescent black plumage and quite intelligent with their team hunting skills and ability to so well adapt to humans. Also, they sound like R2-D2 on the fritz so that's cool.

There are birds, and there are... BIRDS!

Did you know the all time lifetime record for grouse shooting is held by a man who was running an experimental test station for new varieties of wheat?

I'm unsurprised.

http://youtu.be/iiXcPj6AkXY

"Did you know the all time lifetime record for grouse shooting is held by a man who was running an experimental test station for new varieties of wheat?" [ITIWBS]

I didn't know that, but leave it to a farmer to get protective of his crops by shooting the wild animals that threaten them.

my shed has been invaded by the missus, she's got "nets" for my shed window

NETS! for the shed! ARGH! what's the world coming to ? a man's shed is his sanctuary

There's nothing wrong with nets in the shed... said the fisherman.

but a garden shed aw no! should be a law

(haven't got a shed and can't get in't outhouse for over too much stuff)

Hold a garage sale - or rather an outhouse sale. The provenu might buy us some

Does "outhouse" mean something else over there?

It can mean both - if you know what I mean

No. That's why I asked.

Simple: An outhouse can accommodate a privy. But a privy can not accommodate an outhouse

An outhouse can simply be a small outlying building separate from the main house. But the idea of a place for bodily functions far from the house was wise before the days of indoor plumbing. This kept unsanitary objects and odors away from the places where food was prepared and eaten.