This is the Message Centre for Arisztid Lugosi
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Arisztid Lugosi Started conversation Nov 19, 2006
My grandpa has been very sick for quit a few weeks now. We thought he was getting better though. He was sent home from the hospital a few days ago because he was doing so well. This morning he died in his sleep. I’m sad, but I was kind of expecting it. He was so old and sick I think maybe its better now, and if there is a heaven then I suppose he’s happier now.
Its very inconvenient though. I have two quizes I’m suppsed to do online tomorrow night. I have an essay due wednesday and more essays due later on. I’m flying out tomorrow and I’ll be there till Wednesday. No internet. I doubt I’ll get much homework done anyway. I couldn’t concentrate on it today and when I’m there I’ll be visiting with family and going to the funeral.
On the bright side I’ll get to see my cousins daughter, shes cute as a button and she can walk now. It’ll be good to see the rest of the family too. It's my favorite side, they’re all so nice and loving.
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Websailor Posted Nov 19, 2006
Hi, AL,
So sorry to hear your news. It sounds as if his time had come and it was nice that he was at home.
This is one of those times when the only things that really matter are family things. I am sure you will catch up or be given time if you explain.
I am glad there are some good things to look forward to, along with the funeral.
Take care,
Websailor
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Arisztid Lugosi Posted Nov 19, 2006
Thanks both of you You give very good advise. I'm taking my textbooks with you but I dont really think I'll get much done.
Wish me luck, its very windy out and I'm supposed to fly there in about 2 hours.
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NPY Posted Nov 19, 2006
Sorry to hear that. At least he was at home and comfortable and if he went in his sleep, maybe that's the best way to go.
And I'm sure they'll understand with the homework.
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Vestboy Posted Nov 20, 2006
Sorry to hear of your loss. People often rally before they go. I'm glad you have some nice family to share the grieving with.
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Arisztid Lugosi Posted Nov 25, 2006
Thanks very much everyone
I got back home on wednesday night. The funeral was just terrible it started out well enough but then the preacher started saying weird stuff. It was like a sunday sermon and he was trying to get us all to repent our sins or something. He sort of implied that my grandpa was a bad man which isn’t true… I think what he meant was that we should be comforted by gods love and forgiveness but it didnt really come accross that way. I think things really started to take a turn for the worse when he said “and what if it was you lying in that box today.” Personally I didnt find it comforting at all… But at least I was so mad I didn’t feel sad anymore.
On a happy note my favorite cousin was there. Shes actually my dads cousin’s daughter but whatever. She held my hand the entire time, it was very nice. Afterwards I went out with her, her brother, my cousin and his wife, and my brother and we all had a nice walk and then went out for lunch
I'm feeling quite good now, not too sad anymore
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Websailor Posted Nov 25, 2006
Al,
I know what you mean. When my Dad was cremated, the duty priest said some horrible things because my Dad had never been christened or confirmed, as though he was no good and should be consigned to the bin, or words to that effect. Forgive him his sins, etc. He had never sinned in his life!
Some very upsetting things were said when my Mum was cremated too. In both cases I had been in control till then but I became very angry and upset. They really should consult with the family more before they say such things,
I am glad your day turned out ok in the end though, and he is at peace now.
Websailor
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Vestboy Posted Nov 28, 2006
I'm sorry that the minister upset you both. It really isn't appropriate to berate people at such events. It certainly doesn't convince you of a loving or forgiving God, does it?
More and more of my friends have opted for humanist funerals for their loved ones when they had no church links. They have been lovely services with people who knew the deceased person saying nice, memorable and sometimes amusing things about them.
I've been thinking about setting up a bit of the site here for people to say "What I want said about me when I'm gone." This may just push me to do it now.
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Arisztid Lugosi Posted Nov 29, 2006
I forgive the minister for he knows not what he does.
I think my grandpa wanted this particular minister to speak for him because he did such a beautiful job at my uncles funeral.
Definately didnt convince me of a loving forgiving God! Really I couldnt understand why anyone would go to church if he was the one giving the sermons. I know he went to visit my grandpa when he was in the hospital but when he spoke at the funeral he acted like he'd never met him. He was so obviously phoney and he didnt even seem to try to hide the fact that he honestly couldnt care one way or the other if my grandpa was alive or dead. Very intersting but certainly not going to convert me.
I agree entirely! A what I want done when I'm gone would be a very good idea.I dont plan on dying any time soon but I'd certainly hate to think I'll get a funeral I'd hate. You know that expression "well its your funeral?" Well it really would be! So it should be the way you want it. I better not leave it to my Mum otherwise it would be all religous music and pink and frilly.
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Websailor Posted Nov 29, 2006
It's funny that : <> but it seems it does matter to a lot of people. Of course it won't matter if you are dead, but it matters to those you leave behind, and hurtful things have a habit of sticking in the mind.
A friend of mine gave her husband a humanist funeral and it sounded wonderful. More a celebration of life than a funeral. Everyone came away uplifted.
Certainly w oth thinking about if there are no real religious connections.
Websailor
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Vestboy Posted Nov 30, 2006
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/A17809329
Is where you can put your own thoughts on what you want to put others through when you go.
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Arisztid Lugosi Posted Dec 1, 2006
Thanks Vestie!! Thats great! I particularily liked what you said.
And you're right WS. It really does matter to those you leave behind. I know it made a difference for me. Besides, I think I'd like my funeral to have certain things. After all it should probably reflect the person its for shouldn't it?
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NPY Posted Dec 1, 2006
I can't believe the minister said that. I've heard of other funerals where they draw out this thing as if trying to convert the entire congregation. Not sure that I'd agree with it.
But maybe like you said he didn't realise. Maybe they have a ready-prepared order of service gven to them or something.
Buit I hope the time with your cousins helped.
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Arisztid Lugosi Posted Dec 3, 2006
Thats an interesting thought... Maybe they do have a sort of generic funeral. Even if he didnt though, I think in a way I understand. He's not very good a being sincere and he didnt know my grandpa so I think he just threw something together.
The time with my cousin definately helped After the funeral we went out and bought chocolate and some other candy. Then we were going to go for a walk but it started raining so instead we all went out for lunch We went to my favorite resturant there, we dont have one where I live
Key: Complain about this post
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- 1: Arisztid Lugosi (Nov 19, 2006)
- 2: Trin Tragula (Nov 19, 2006)
- 3: Websailor (Nov 19, 2006)
- 4: Arisztid Lugosi (Nov 19, 2006)
- 5: NPY (Nov 19, 2006)
- 6: Hmm (Nov 19, 2006)
- 7: RFJS__ - trying to write an unreadable book, finding proofreading tricky (Nov 19, 2006)
- 8: Mr. X ---> "Be excellent to each other. And party on, dudes!" (Nov 19, 2006)
- 9: Vestboy (Nov 20, 2006)
- 10: Arisztid Lugosi (Nov 25, 2006)
- 11: Websailor (Nov 25, 2006)
- 12: Vestboy (Nov 28, 2006)
- 13: Arisztid Lugosi (Nov 29, 2006)
- 14: Mr. X ---> "Be excellent to each other. And party on, dudes!" (Nov 29, 2006)
- 15: Websailor (Nov 29, 2006)
- 16: Vestboy (Nov 30, 2006)
- 17: Arisztid Lugosi (Dec 1, 2006)
- 18: NPY (Dec 1, 2006)
- 19: Arisztid Lugosi (Dec 3, 2006)
- 20: Mr. X ---> "Be excellent to each other. And party on, dudes!" (Dec 4, 2006)
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