Journal Entries
Dreams
Posted Apr 23, 2006
My odd dreams seem to be occurring again. I like to keep note of them, so here's this mornings edition:
Me and a friend I've not spoken to in about a year were stood on the road next to my house that leads into the park. Another friend of mine has a black labrador and the dog was with us.
I started throwing a ball into the park for he dog, then threw it all the way down the hill where it landed in the little river. The dog chased it and tried to find it, but there was a slight problem. There was an alligator in the river.
The dog jumped on the alligator as it started walking up the hill towards me. (
disappears around here, not sure if he was eaten or went to a tea party). The alligator looks pretty intent on eating me, but he's not very fast so me and the old friend wander to my house, latch the gate and lock the front door.
I wasn't all that worried about being eaten at first, but I got very panicky after watching the alligator trying to get into the house for what seemed like hours. Nobody else was worried about there being something that was determined to eat me because it wasn't after them, just me. The alligator wandered away further up the road for a while and I sat holed up in my living room, waiting for him to come back.
During this holed up time, lots of little things happened.
-A man with a little girl pulled up outside the house and he sent the little girl to knock on the door. I answered and walked up the man who asked me to change five telephone numbers in his mobile.
-I read a magazine, one of those free ones you get with the weekend paper.
-My brother made a cheese toastie and wouldn't make me one.
-I picked my socks.
I had a few attempts at writing a note, pens kept running out and I had to start again. The note said something like "If you are going to come to this house, please latch the gate behind you. There's an alligator." I eventually got the sellotape started and dashed outside to stick it to the gate.
By this time, dawn was starting to break. The alligator started walking down the road back towards me. Lots of people were stood on the street gawping and pointing. Then it turned right, away from the house.
I stayed in the house in case it came back. I picked up the paper to see that I was in it. And then a bunch of journalists turned up asking about my experience.
It seemed so real at the time. I even checked out the window when I woke up. 
Discuss this Journal entry [65]
Latest reply: Apr 23, 2006
Mac and Me
Posted Apr 1, 2006
Are outside.
Mac won't stop whistling.
Discuss this Journal entry [51]
Latest reply: Apr 1, 2006
A 20 minute joke.
Posted Feb 25, 2006
Kevin Smith speaks. Stop everything and listen.
http://www.youtube.com/w/Superman-Lives?v=gUU_Vs1BL0E&eurl
I also enjoyed his take on Tim Burton:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru90-OIJGvQ
Discuss this Journal entry [51]
Latest reply: Feb 25, 2006
What's wrong with Footbacon?
Posted Feb 13, 2006
I've got a poorly head. 
I've had almost constant headaches for a couple of weeks. Wake up with them in the morning, they'll ease off for a while during the day and then I go back to bed with them at night.
It's not the first time I've had them. First time was two years ago, they started in November and eventually went away by themself in December.
Last year I had them around the same time again. That time the doctor told me to take ibuprofen three times a day. Eventually they stopped after about six weeks. So I'm not sure if it was the tablets that stopped them or if they had just run their course.
I thought I'd escaped getting them again this year as I'd got through November and December without a twinge. But they came back two weeks ago.
They start with a twinge right at the back of my head, just to the right of my spine. That part of the headache feels like a metal spike has been lodged into my head. Those twinges aren't there all the time, but they cause a normal headache all around the right side of my head.
I pulled a muscle in my neck years ago, so I'm wondering whether it's something to do with that. Or maybe it's something that belongs in the X Files. Maybe I didn't swallow that fountain pen and it's shot up into my head.
Anyway, I went to the pharmacists today to stock up on ibuprofen. They told me to take a couple of ibuprofen in the morning, then co-codomol for the rest of the day until they bugger off again.
This journal entry is pointless. I'm just feeling sorry for my poorly head.
Discuss this Journal entry [145]
Latest reply: Feb 13, 2006
"Press 3 to threaten our representatives with a ham shotgun"
Posted Jan 28, 2006
A couple of weeks ago, my mobile contract was due to end. I rang the Carphone Warehouse to get an upgrade. Spoke to someone who seemed to know what they were talking about and ordered my new mobile.
I wanted to change my tariff and the person said that that was fine, but I wouldn't be able to keep my mobile number. I'd had a bit to drink before ringing the shop and didn't really question it.
The mobile I wanted wasn't in stock and I received it on Monday with the new sim card.
I put the sim card in and got the message: "Inactive sim". Couple of days later, the message was still there. I rang Carphone Warehouse to sort the problem out and the person said that it could take a couple of days for the account to be activated.
So I wait a bit longer and when the sim still isn't active on Thursday, I ring again. This time the person says that it's because Vodafone haven't got all my details, postcode and the like. They email the details to Vodafone and say that my sim should be working on Friday morning.
Friday morning comes and goes. Sim still says that it doesn't like me. I point a shotgun at it and ask it to take a bite of peach.
An hour ago, I rang the Carphone Warehouse once again. Go through a bunch of: "Press 2 for blah-dy blah" messages. (Not too professional) They say that they can't do anything about it and put me through to Vodafone. The first person I spoke to there was completely confused as to what had happened to my account. Got put on hold for five minutes while he double clicked his mouse and drew a sheep on a post it note.
*Click* He gets back to me and apologised, then asked if it was an upgrade or a new account. I tell him that I wanted an upgrade but as I was given a new number, suppose it's a new account. He puts me on hold again.
Greensleeves.
*Beep*
I look at my phone. Battery has died. I run around for a bit trying to find the charger, ring my brother and he walks me through the mess of his room until I find it. Plug the phone in and ring back the Carphone Warehouse, asking to be put through to the department in Vodafone that I spoke to before, the one dealing with activating sim cards.
They put me through, I ask for Richard, the bloke I was speaking to five minutes ago. She says there is no Richard in that department. I go through the whole story again and she says that I've been put on a new contract, but hers isn't the department that deals with that.
She puts me through to the correct department. I listen to greensleeves for another ten minutes. Eventually I hear a click. "Hello?" There's nobody there. I listen to people chatting and laughing then put the phone down.
Right. I ring Vodafone directly this time. I go through the story once again to another confused person. She asks for my customer reference and mobile number. I give them to her and she says that she can't access any of my details, only Carphone Warehouse can.
The last two people that I spoke to at Vodafone could access my details! She tells me that I'll have to ring Carphone Warehouse and get them to sort it out. I did that in the first place and they put me through to Vodafone!
She's confused as to why I've been given a new mobile number if I was already on Vodafone in the first place. Tells me that I should take the phone back to the shop and ask to cancel the contract, then ask for the phone again and to keep the same number.
I was a bit miffed at the actual mobile that I got too. So now I'm off to look at what else I could get.
I scribble rubbish when I'm on the phone. I've just looked at what I've doodled on the Vodafone terms & conditions leaflet. There's a few variations of Vodafones "Press 3 for..." options, a Carphone Warehouse grave, me in a steamroller from hell and a note to attack someone with sharpened sim cards.
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Latest reply: Jan 28, 2006
Baconlefeets
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