h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hi everyone,

Yes, I'm still feeling Lua here a lot. Hard not to, really. And I keep talking to her out loud, saying her name. Lua Lua Lua!

Maria came for her class this morning and told me that she wasn't going to charge me for her visit as Lua was a friend. But then she told me that I had to pay 60 euros for the people who came and took her body away to be incinerated.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not begrudging having to pay for this service, I'm just left wondering why this service was necessary.

Apparently I could have had Lua's ashes preserved and sent to me (as Lady had had done) but this isn't something I personally felt was important to me, though I understand it would be important to others.

Maria said to me that we couldn't have just tossed Lua's dead body into the nearest dumpster. But to be honest, once she had gone, once she was no longer in that body, I really didn't care what happened to it. It was Lua I missed and longed for - not the remains of the body she had inhabited.

Does that make me sound hard-hearted?

I just knew once she had died, and I was still kissing her on the head then, that she was no longer there. That my beautiful girl was no longer with me.

I guess I'm feeling a bit odd about this business that carts off dead animal bodies at huge expense - like why? Why does it cost so much to burn a dead body? Again, I don't begrudge the cost, I just wonder if sometimes these people don't just collect the body and plunk it into the nearest dumpster themselves and then charge for having incinerated it. Am I being too cynical? Probably.

Meanwhile, went out today and bought Maria a lovely gift as a thank-you for all that she did. She even told me today how hard it was for her to 'remain professional' while doing what she had to do with Lua because she felt so emotionally connected to her. But she also reaffirmed that my decision had been a 'brave one' and that she was happy that she could help me through it.

I'm still missing Lua so much, but it is becoming easier to accept it all. I mean, the decision I made. Little by little. Poco á poco.

But I still miss her terribly, not sitting at the foot of the bed in the morning, with her pretty little face turned up expectantly awaiting her breakfast. And as Noggin has just pointed out, the very same way she would just come and sit next to us while we were eating, waiting for her treat. She always just sat there with that look on her face.

Happily, I did get a few more 'acks' out of her before Maria came that morning.

Anyhow, don't mind me, just rambling a bit.


az

You'll never stop looking, first thing in the morning, eleven years of hannah still means i dont put cups of liquid on the floor,
yes i am with you on the bodies bit especialy as a lot of these types of estabishments, forward a lot of the bodies to the municible
incinerators.

still no cam back yet ,must get on

az

I don't think it sounds hard believing that Lua's body is no longer Lua. I knew that Jake was no longer in his body but I couldn't bear the thought of the body that I cuddled and loved being thrown into an incinerator with countless other nameless animals. I wanted to have his ashes back so that I could place them somewhere special...now that we have finished our garden we are going to either scatter them or put them into a stone cat out there so that I will have a place in the garden to go and talk to him.

On a lighter note, Tasha was speyed today and now has one of those plastic cones on because she kept pulling at the stitches. It pulls at my heart to see her so pathetic - moonwalking around the room and getting stuck on things - but at the same time you have to laugh.

I have taken a couple of pictures...

http://public.fotki.com/catcollection/tasha/awww.html
http://public.fotki.com/catcollection/tasha/poor_baby.html

She's now trying to play...doesn't she realise she's just had major surgery? Cats eh!

Lady

Hi, Az, just checking in to see how you are doing.

Az, thats a good attitude being able to realise its not the body itself that you miss. I wasn't so good at that and had to be persuaded to stop stroking Fluffy, afterwards. We had her cremated, and keep them here, I will scatter them one day, when I have found somewhere gorgeous, maybe Kew Gardens. Its weird but I don't want to let her go, although I know she has already gone.

Dear Az,

When our beloved Chester died aged nearly 20, he had crawled off into our old dog-kennel out in the back garden, where there was a big soft cushion, and just went to sleep. So we cremated him in that. He had a multi-cultural funeral. He was wrapped in a golden burial cloth from Varanasi (bought by me at Manikarnika Ghat, where the bodies are burned), and was washed with blessed water from the source of the Ganges at Gangotri. That was the Hindu element. He was surrounded by Tibetan zimpo incense, and we played a tape of Gyuto monks chanting Tibetan mantras. That was the Tibetan Buddhist element. As the flames soared upwards into the starry night sky, we set off a huge fireworks rocket which a friend brought for the occasion. That was the Taoist element. When the Tibetan monks had finished, we played Gregorian chant and I threw frankincense and myrrh into the fire. That was the Catholic element.

Then as the ash settled and the embers glowed in the dark, we drank medium dry sherry and ate sponge cake. That was the Church of Ireland Protestant element! All our friends who had known and enjoyed Chester's company, (who had received Christmas cards for years with cartoons of him I'd drawn on them) celebrated his departure...and asked if I would stage manage their funerals when the time came...some quite seriously!

The next day I gathered up his ashes and sprinkled them (with the friend from whom we had originally got Chester as a wee kitten 20 years before) in the river Dodder, where I intend my ashes to be sprinkled eventually.

It helps to deal with the death if you really celebrate the departure.

Blessings to you, Noggin and Lua ,

C \|/

hi Lady,

Oh, poor Tasha! How is she now? I've just got some photos back and there are a couple of Lua wearing her collar as well (and looking non-too-pleased).

Here are seven new photos - just click on 'next' to see the rest:

http://public.fotki.com/azahar/gatitos/cranky_lua.html

The first two photos are Lua with the collar on. Then there is one of her sitting in my bedroom in one of her favourite places next to the bed, in front of the bookcase. Then three of her having her last brekky (shaved ham, of course!). And the last one of me hugging her while we were waiting for Maria to arrive (I'm the one with the red puffy face).


hi Kaz,

Even though I knew that Lua was no longer in her body, like you with Fluffy, I also kept on stroking her until Maria gently suggested that I let her go. I just didn't want to stop looking at her pretty face.


Chai,

That sounds like a wonderful ceremony you had for Chester! As I mentioned here before, Noggin and I did celebrate Lua's departure with cava and then going out for a nice dinner. A very sad/happy celebration.


Thanks for checking in, Big Red. And logicus, it *is* true that I'll never stop looking for Lua first thing in the morning. I still do a double take when I catch Sunny walking into the room out of the corner of my eye as I half-expect it to be Lua.

My most beautiful girl.


az

Az, those are lovely photos.

Ivan.

Got Lua's picture. It's hard to say anything right.

I'm listening to this right now.

Lay Down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You have come to journey's end

Don't say
We have come now to the end.
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again.

And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping.

What can you see?
On the horizon.
Why do the white gulls call?

Across the sea
A pale moon rises.
The ships have come
To carry you home.

That really is beautiful, Moth - thank you.

Where does it come from?

Mudhooks sent me this re-touched photo of Lua the other day and I've since sent it out by email to all Lua's friends. I think her version of the photo is also very beautiful.

http://public.fotki.com/azahar/gatitos/lua.html





az

At the end of the Two Towers - Annie Lennox

Oh, I totally lurve Annie Lennox. So looks like I'll be buying that soundtrack soon.




az

I've just been adding some new cat photos to my 'gatitos' Fotki site and getting them sorted in more or less chronological order.

But this is a new one - and very sweet! - of Noggin and Sunny discussing the existence of the soul and the universe on the sofa (like you do).

Sunny's usual reply is 'I am therefore where the hell is my breakfast???'

http://public.fotki.com/azahar/gatitos/peter_and_sunny-1.html



az

Az for the pix. They are beautimus.

My irrational fear when I had my Persian, Daqiqi, put to sleep many years ago (I think I've talked about him way back in this thread; he got cancer and died within a couple of months) was that he wasn't really dead and would wake up underground. :-o Aiiiee!! My husband assured me that the vet had listened very carefully to Qiqi's heart after giving the fatal injection, but I lay awake that night and worried about it. It's funny how the brain will grab onto something weird like that.

I think I can understand that fear, Big Red. I was upset that it took more than one injection of the lethal stuff for Lua. It seemed her body was really fighting to live, but Maria insisted that Lua was already unconscious and this was a purely physical reflex thing. I didn't feel sure about this, which was why I came back in after the heart injection and continued holding Lua and kissing her and talking to her. Even after Maria told me she had gone.

It must have been awful for you to worry about such a thing. But I'm sure your husband was right and that the vet had done their job properly.

Meanwhile, I'm sure that years from now I'll still be talking about Lua the same way you still talk about Daqiqi.


az

For the moment I got Benjamin, I worried constantly that something would "happen to him". I can recall having my mother come and pick me up at work one day so I could run home at lunchtime to see that I hadn't left the toilet seat up (when he was really little I would put him in the bathroom while I was at work). Of course, I had carefully put the seat down, but that was my constant worry while at work.

All my life, I have had cats that are "outdoor" cats, but I worried constantly that he would get loose and something happen to him. The first night he escaped when we moved to where we live now, I was panicked that he was gone for ever. I hunted for hours for him and got in a huge fight with my mother who had let him out. Sure enough, he came wandering in at about 3:30 am. He was probably within two back yards of our house all night long, and wasn't in the slightest danger.

My ex, I am sure, thought me psychotic in my worry over him and, at first, I was baffled by my paranoia. It finally dawned on me that, because I had been unable to have children, and had several miscarriages, I was putting all my fears about those losses into Benjamin.

I don't worry quite so much about him when he gets out, now, but when my neighbour freaked out on me over his having gotten out and accused him of "wrecking" her garden (and pooping all over her lawn, which cats just do not do), and then threatened to call Animal Control, I started to get frightened again. Since then, I have managed to keep him in, for the most part and have managed to round him up quickly enough when he does get out.....

Poor Mudhooks! Gosh, we do fret about the little dears, don't we?

Thanks, Az. The only reason I don't relieve Beckatt's death as much (two years ago now) is I wasn't there when it happened. My poor husband had to take him in by himself (this also is all back in the thread somewhere) as I was out of town caring for my elderly mother after she had knee replacement surgery. I had given him a kitten for his birthday (I had him pick the cat out, though!), and he said it was the best birthday present ever.

And probably it won't be too long before it's Tabitha's turn. She's 12 now. Sigh.

I just realized that last bit wasn't quite clear. What I meant to say was that Beckatt was a birthday present from me to him, and in later years he said it was the best present ever.

I might have a new cat!

Well, okay, not one to live in the flat, but a street cat (or rather, a roof-top cat) that I'll start feeding and caring for.

It happened like this. My building has several light wells that allow light into the interior rooms in some of the flats. My flat is mostly exterior (six balconies) but my kitchen window opens into one of the light wells. I'm on the top floor, but there are two levels of rooftop above me (on the first rooftop there are some storage rooms).

Anyhow, earlier this evening I was sautéeing some chicken (to make croquettes for tomorrow) and had the kitchen windows wide open and suddenly I heard this quite loud meowing that sounded a bit like Azar. After looking around the kitchen a bit I finally looked out the window and up . . .and from the second rooftop there was this little charcoal-grey face looking down at me and meowing like crazy.

So I grabbed a tin of left-over Lua food and went upstairs and there was this little thing (I think it's a girl) crouching in one of the corners. I mean, there was no way I could get near her and, in fact, she leapt onto the next roof and disappeared. But I left the contents of the catfood tin at the spot she had been calling to me from, above my kitchen window.

A couple of hours later Noggin and I were coming back from having tapas and I said we should go up to see if Nimbus (her new name) had eaten the food. And there wasn't a speck left! Then I saw a charcoal grey streak race across the rooftop wall and there she was - staring at us for a few moments before racing off again. So tiny and skinny! Anyhow, at least she now knows where to check for food tomorrow. I'm going to start putting out some food and a cup of water for her each morning, in the spot where she first called down to me from.

What I find odd is that she actually did call down to me, since she is obviously very wild and timid. I mean, I wouldn't have known she was there otherwise.

I decided to call her Nimbus because of her gorgeous colouring (like a little storm cloud) but Noggin said he felt sure there was another meaning for that word and later looked it up. The second meaning in the dictionary was 'an emanation of light surrounding a saint or deity'. He thought the twin meaning was very sweet.

Isn't that a nice story?


az

Az circle of life,
dont forget to add worming powder, dont feed the worm as well,