Journal Entries
This week's grunt.
Posted Jul 3, 2003
**Advertisement**
This weeks grunt, from Dr. Funderlik:
THE ARTICLE OF FUGUE
"Its weird and stupid but edjermicational too" (Kofi Anann)
An excerpt:
"It is well documented that Johann Sebastian Bach really really liked music. He could often be spotted, wandering around his garden in Leipzig, pruning his roses, and going 'tum - tiddly - tum - tiddly - um - pom pom'. Local villagers, walking past, would tip their hats to him, and ask, in perfect German, ' So, how are we today Mr B?'. On hearing this, Bach was known to look up from his greenfly, touch his nose, wink and reply 'I am very musical, thank you very much.'...
Read this weeks h2g2 Post to find out more 
**End of advertisement**
This advertisement courtesy of Bartle Funderlik Ogively and Thump.
Discuss this Journal entry [6]
Latest reply: Jul 3, 2003
Just cloning about.
Posted Jun 28, 2003
For years, scientists have been working on cloning the first ever human. They've managed it so far with an earthworm, a sheep and a donkey. In the meantime, however, I believe I can contribute to this endeavour - by being the first person in the history of science to clone a joke.
Here's our specimin:
"Scientists in Sweden have made the first ever perfume, just for clones. It is called ....
wait for it...
wait for it...
wait for it...
eau de clone.
Arf Arf.
And now, I engage the joke cloning machine..
"Scientists in Sweden have made the first ever perfume, just for clones. It is called eau de clone"
"Scientists in Sweden have made the first ever perfume, just for clones. It is called eau de clone"
"Scientists in Sweden have made the first ever perfume, just for clones. It is called eau de clone"
"Scientists in Sweden have made the first ever perfume, just for clones. It is called eau de clone"
Success!
Discuss this Journal entry [25]
Latest reply: Jun 28, 2003
Guinea Pigs in the Front Line.
Posted Jun 9, 2003
The most secure guinea pigs in the free world live in a small shop on a side street in Bucharest. The reason these little animals may consider themselves luckier than avarage is that they are guarded by the best security forces that the US can muster. Peering out from their cages, it must surely strike them as a stroke of luck that they are protected from any potential attacker - such as a bird, for example, or a stoat - by twenty four hour armed security, crash barriers and searchlights. This is because these little animals are housed in a shop situated right next to the American Embassy.
I know this because myself and my wife go there to buy food for our own guinea pig. Her name is 'Sarmaluta' which means 'little roll of stuffed cabbage' in Romanian. She lives with us in a small cage and finds that the height of her day is heralded by the fridge door opening and the rustle of a bag of lettuce. At this sound she tends to show her appreciation by doing multiple cartwheels while squeaking like some maniac toy. Guinea pig cannot survive on lettuce alone however. So we are obliged occasionally to travel to the shop near the American Embassy.
The street must be approached through a checkpoint. The guards don't actually talk to us, which is a relief:
"State your business sir"
"Hungry guinea pig"
"Proceed.."
But they do watch us closely as we approach the shop. Sometimes they saunter over as if to follow us in, but the cacophany of squeaking that results when we get to the door is usually enough to put them off. I'm sure George Bush is monitoring the situation closely.
Discuss this Journal entry [5]
Latest reply: Jun 9, 2003
Dr Funderlik blows his own trumpet again.
Posted May 27, 2003
Yes, I know, I promise I will stop rabbiting on about these things now, but today is a great day for today is my first ever edited guide entry 
Live Fast, Die Young at: A1037927
And it got to be editors choice toooo .... sooooo
Yes, mark it in your diaries, for today is just the beginning. Funderlik Industries is on the rise ... yes... today the front page, tomorrow the world!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha
ah
...
Discuss this Journal entry [34]
Latest reply: May 27, 2003
My first front page image
Posted May 20, 2003
Wow I am one 
today. My first cover illustration for an edited entry 
. It sits gracefully atop project gutenberg at A1037936
Discuss this Journal entry [5]
Latest reply: May 20, 2003
Dr Deckchair Funderlik
Researcher U216365
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