h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It is so very boring
To be kept awake by snoring !
He sounds like a bronchial horse -
Surely it's grounds for divorce.



Snoring

TWO VILLAGES

I come from Kent so I know
There's a village called Pratt's Bottom
Near Rochester, on the Medway -
Much to the amusement of many,
And to the pride
Of its website.

There's another up Norfolk way
called Little Snoring,
Which seems right for Norfolk
In a way
Some would say;
But on their parish council website
On the subject of their name,
Silent they stay.


NEXT: Silence

Educational note:

Pratt was Anglo-Saxon for a particular part of the female anatomy. That's why it's now English slang for a fool, but it's swearing slang, never used in polite company.


Jabs

Silence a poem by pebblederook


......................






sorry couldn't resist

er...can you break your silence to give us a new topic?


Jabs

Silence.

It's not my business, not my place
What if its gone, without a trace.
I've things to sort out,things to do,
If you're so bothered, its up to you.


Next subject ....cakes and ale.

cakes and ale
Make you pale
The bitter and sweet
Are funny
They don't mix
In the tummy
But don't be sick
- That's the trick
To impress your friends
This is where the poem - small, unassuming and unobtrusive, ends.



Next: Ends

Means and Ends

What did you mean with that remark,
That cut me deeply to the quick?
T'was mean of you to say those things.
You are too fast to take the mick.

Its over now, this is the end.
A heel you called me for a start.
I'm at my tether's end this time.
A wound may heal, but not my heart.


And next:

Cherie Blair

Cherie Blair doesn't care
Who she upsets or offends.
Methinks maybe this lady
Won't have many friends.
A bit of humility
Wouldn't go amiss
If she'd only shut up
It would be such bliss.


Sunday Afternoons

I tend to sit around a lot
I'm not young
But then I sat around a lot when I was not
Old. You know...you don't learn much
when you run around
But then..whatever I think I learn is soon forgot.
But just maybe..maybe..perhaps even soon
Maybe even next Sunday afternoon,
I will know.



next....When all things come to a point.

I don't believe it ever started,
And so I don't think it ends.
No creative input was imparted,
Apologies if this offends.
I think its just a pulse or throb,
And life will not seem out of joint,
No superbeing needed for the job,
When all things come to a point.


And next challenge (wiyh apologies to our Southern friends):
Spring (without those darned daffodils)

Not wiyh but with

Ah yes, down here, as summer ends
And Autumn's gloom's drawing nigh
We'll soon wear clothes as the cold descends
And recall warm winds with a sigh.

And Spring is such a joyful word
With hope and buds aborning
The pleasure in life expressed by a bird
As it chirpily greets each morning.

But nothing says 'SPRING' with a greater glee
Than a kitten that leaps on its victim
And nothing says life with more meaning to me
Than Grand Sping, the ultimate dictum.



Sorry about that, the last days of Summer make me maudlin.


Next....Optimistic endeavours.

Try, try and try again
That's how the saying goes.
And so I'll take it to my heart
And will away my woes.
And nothing in life will wear me down,
And positive thoughts will win.
And the challenges that life throws out,
Well, I'll take them on the chin !
And at the end when I am old
And looking to my rest,
I'll be at peace with the life I've lived
And know I've done my best.


Saturday night fever

What shall I do?
I seem to have the flu.
My brow feels so hot,
I'm sure I cannot
Make church tomorrow.
Alas, I feel sorrow,
But bed-bound I'll stay
Till the flu goes away.

Next topic: watching for the first shoots of Spring.

Willie - seeing spring was sprung
Thought he'd have all kind of fun,
So taking Uncle Albert's gun,
Went and shot twelve ptarmigan

Now what young Willie didn't know,
Was that the season was called 'low',
And shooting birds of any sort,
Would land you in the county court.


Next 'Mayhem'

Economic mayhem is what
The world is suffering now,
The currency confusion
Causes heads of state to bow.
We need to find a way out
Of a world that's built on greed,
And I dream of a Utopia
Where everybody's need
Is met with pure compassion
Not monetary concern.
It's such a simple lesson
Yet seems so hard to learn.

Forgot to make next subject !!!


Prosperity

There was a man called Edgar Bitty
Was wont to wander far and wide
His friends, of course, had named him Itty
And it stuck with him, although he tried
To venture far enough afield to lose this tag
So irked he was one day when in a distant city
To meet a man with pointed ears and face all crag
Who gestured strangely, and said, "Live long and prosper, Itty!"


Next... Sometimes we must speak..tongue in cheek.