h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm hoping to achieve an orgasm purely through the power of thought.

Sorry for the interjection.

If it works Ron.........would you mind having one for me too? I'm a little pushed for time at the mo

oh wow !!!

That was unexpected and quite scared the cats.

You need to work on your aim Ron, or at least warn me.

(Heading off to find new undercrackers)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qdsv2CRHjk


This is not relevant to anything much, but it made me laugh. Worth it really for the last line.

Aye up!

That reminds me.

During basic training in the RN, we had to do a 40 mile yomp across Bodmin Moor. On day 2 the Chief Slavedrivers had us up at 4am to break camp. It was freezing cold, wet, we were all half-starved and we were knackered. All we wanted to do was to get going so we could warm up. Unfortunately it was a Sunday and the sods decided we had to do a prayer and a hymn before we could go. They selected a 'volunteer' to take the service. He protested that he didn't know any prayers or hymns, he was atheist, he was a Yorkshireman and "a Yorkshireman's only religion is t'cricket" etc etc to no avail.

The Prayer was: "For sake God, make this day be over quick"

The Hymn was more problematical. He was whingeing to the CPO that he honestly didn't know any hymns, he couldn't sing and he couldn't think of any songs. The Chief belted him with a big stick to help his memory, which led to an experience that has stayed with me to this day.

200 wet, tired, cold, p'd off, severely p'd off sailors singing "On Ilkley Moor" at 4am on Bodmin Moor.

Bless 'em

All well and good, it is possible to achieve orgasm through the power of thought but can an achievable orgasm help us pay the bills?

Do you have bills that need paying?

I have a duck who's bill needs clipping.

I don't have any bills at the moment but they'll be rolling in again shortly. How do you clip a duck?

More to the point why aren't there any smileys?

Good news about the bills, and how did you know my nickname was 'shortly'?

There isn't a duck smiley per se, but this does look like the late lamented Charlie Drake I think........

I didn't know that was your nickname 'shortly'.
Cooo! I'd forgotten about Charlie Drake

You remarked on my likeness to him last time we met

I don't think I've ever met you, Charlie Drake lookalike

I hope some duffer doesn't think he's going to get a bit on the side Apple_Woman, you've got Ann Summers to thank for that! They don't talk back

This conversation is getting out of hand!
Shall we revert to the conversation about the man on the bus?

oh yes! the smelly man who was relieving himself

I think the original conversation was between myself and SWL, but if you two ladies would like to continue elsewhere, who am i to argue?

I've stopped eating chocolate.
This whole website needs re-vamping

Lots of talked at times.

It's in the contract.

Section IV, Para iii, subsection (c)

"Wherever two men are seen to be talking, the person of the chattering part (woman), shall be obligated to interject with talk of either:

i) Chocolate
ii) Housework
iii) Childbirth