h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

just sent this into the cyber void in th ehope of being received...this working??

Well, I found it Brad.

And me. Left a reply Brad to your post in My Space.

Morning Pat!

Did you go?

Fortunately for me West Ham committed Hari Kari in first half and gifted us 4 goals! Better second half from Carrick and DiCanio but the rest were bobbins including everyone in the Leeds team!

Was just wondering how long it would take you to raise the subject!

Yes, I did go, but I think I must have gone to the wrong place and ended up at a rugby match instead: no way otherwise to explain why the players in blue were allowed to hadle the ball whenever a mighty Hammer got into the penalty box. Oh, and yes I am a very bad loser, and completely lacking in grace.

Sorry mate! I didn't see any handballs... Anyway, I cannot see how you expect to win a game if you do not turn up 'til after half time?

Excellent entertainment though I thought? This is what football is all about isn't it? Not just winning every game week in week out! Maybe I'm mad but I quite enjoy seeing Leeds struggle! Makes it all the more exciting and seeing as how the results never affect me personally in any way whatsoever the more controvesy there is, the better! You must love being a Hammers fan?

Nice of your crowd to "boo" the Hammerettes as well I thought! Made me laugh anyway...

The Hammerettes get quite a tough time from a section of the crowd, largely I think because at half-time they are deemed by the numpties to be the physical manifestation of the club. If we're losing, it's just pointless abuse, and if we're winning......well actually I can't remember what happens if we're winning, but I think it might be quasi-lewd "humour" of the "get your t*ts" out type.

Still, the game was at least exciting, and as you say the whole "Carry On Football" level of defending made for more entertainment than a 0-0 draw. When West Ham aren't at home, I often nip down the M4 to see Reading play: but they're organised and efficient, and that's not half as much fun as seeing Paulo running around like a Dervish waving and swearing at everyone.

Does Mrs Whack'd accompany you to games?
Mrs Pen comes to Reading, but not West Ham (and I can't say I blame her).

For Schemmel's sake: just posted a long reply re the Hammerettes etc, and the BBC appear to have swallowed it and made it disappear like a dove in the hands of Paul Daniels. Back after these messages from your local station........

And now it's appeared........
And yes, I did mean "Paolo" not "Paulo".

Yes, cannot think of another club that has a "Hammerettes" type thing going on for the simple reasons you have just stated... Abuse from the numpties, normally fat old has-beens that drink too much and have zero life other than football! Leeds used to have Ellie the Elephant but I have not seen it for a while! It used to get a lot of stick from the crowd so I think they have sacked it!

Mrs Whack'd accompanies me to home games however; away games are boys ONLY! Nice to maintain a distance on occasions wouldn't you agree in way of keeping some external interest in a relationship! Actually I just like to be off on my own like an idiotic teenager occasionally... There now I've said it!

What else have you been up to this weekend?

Oh, it was action packed. Was forced to watch "Harry Potter and The Money-Rakeing Franchise" on Friday and spent the whole of Saturday in the pub watching the rugby and having a row: hence yesterday was, as you so aptly put it, a good chance to maintain some external interest etc....and a good chance to give my ears a rest.

Mrs Pen is a whole conversation to herself, and not one I'm getting into today: manic depression is a terrible illness.

What about you? Did you have a few sherries Friday night in the end?

Ummm... Not too many sherries that I remember! More like 10 pints of lager, a curry and big fat fatti-bambatti when I got in!

Mrs Whack'd managed to avoid me on Friday evening so I ended up falling into the wrong crowd! ...Again! Thus, mistakenly thinking I was a 21 year old again I began to drink like a "mad eejit!" and did lots of other lad-type stuff this weekend including lolling around like an angry baby all day Saturday in a vain attempt to convince Mrs Whack'd that I was genuinely ill! Never works...

So? You would not recommend the Harry Potter film? I read the books and found them to be quite good... At least I found them very moorish if that is the correct word? Have not seen either film yet!

I'm being, I like to think, fashionably cynical about Harry Potter. I haven't read the books, but the 2nd film was a distinct improvement on the 1st, featuring quite a lot of humour, an amusingly camp and non self-referential performance from Kenneth Branagh, and a fair amount of relatively scary stuff. Oh, and fantastically, Bishop Brennan has a walk on part which almost had me screaming "Crilly: you did, you did kick me up the @rse" (If you don't know what I'm talking about here, just gloss over it). I would, on balance, recommend it.

Huh! Old Len Brennan gets everywhere these days! Sure, you'd think he was a celebrity or something? F**kin' Eejut!

Can recommend the books Pat! Not quite Lord OF The Rings but very good nonetheless.

I'll read the books Bushy, just as long as they've not got filth in. Books nowadays, it's all "f**k this" and "f**k that": oh, and "get your f**kin b*****ks out of my face" that was another of hers.

Back over to 5L now to enjoy you baiting the humourless: you're doing a grand job.

Fr Clint Power.

Oh ta very much... I certainly do my best! Those f**kless nerks keep getting away with it though as I am getting moderated to death here!!

Favourite Father Ted classic moment: Dougal is shown picture of cartoon priest's head with the words REALITY on the outside and the word DREAMS on the inside of the head! "Now have you been studying that drawing I gave you Dougal?" "Errr! No Ted I haven't!"

Hi you two,

I saw the game on TV yesterday - good 2nd half.

I go to a few CFC home games but Mr. Sarnia is not allowed to accompany.

Excellent result for Man City, I thought.

Off out again now, so will look at 5 Live boards later - anything exciting happening over there?

Hello Sarnia!

Not much happening! doug deep is taking me to court, that's about it really...

Hi Sarnia,

Yesterday was pure pants: "I know, we're 3-1 down approaching half-time, so let me just play a really crud back pass direct to Viduka so we can make the 2nd half even harder. There you go Mark me old mucker, stick that one in. Sorted."

5L boards quite weird at the moment: too many people who should know better whingeing about everything (or at least whingeing about attempts at humour which aren't their own). Why can't people just accept that it's a big virtual world, and if they don't like a bit of relaxation, ignore it? Too many people who think a big post count gives them some sort of quasi-moderator role. I'm currently taking a back seat, ready to re-appear as.......well, probably as myself actually.

Anyway, how was your weekend?

Bushy: the example you cite is indeed a classic, and I'll give you 2 more in a similar vein:

1. Dougal's pull down wall chart in the bedroom divided into "Real" and "Make Believe", especially when Ted makes him move God from the Make Believe column to the Real one.

2. They're on holiday in a caravan. Small toy cows on the table in the caravan. Ted holds one up and says to Dougal: "This cow is small: those outside are faaaaaar awaaaaaaaaay".

ROFL!! re. "Real and Make-Believe" Excellent... What a shame we won't be able to see a new series?

Slowly simmering the miseries is tremendous fun. More to follow!

Thank goodness that that your boys did gift us that 4th goal otherwise I reckon we might of lost!!