h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No. But thanks for asking. Next.

What is the frequency in the song "what's the frequency Kennith"?

According to the magic eight cow a song does not have one frequency because each individual note has a frequency. But based on stuff, I'm going to say its 42 hz, and if you disagree with me you're a blasphemer. Next.

Are you really evil?

Also: Will people like me more or less if I run about with nothing on?

And: Why does the uni-online-info-page hate me so much?

I am holding a pen, which has no indication on the outside as to the colour it will write. What colour will the pen write?

What´s my true name?

"Are you really evil?"
Yes. Yes I am. With a vengence. This whole evil thing is not just compensation for a small self-esteem. Really. I swear. Next.

"Also: Will people like me more or less if I run about with nothing on?"
More. They'll pretend not to like you but the guys and girls will be filled with admiration for your great huge... mind. Next.

"And: Why does the uni-online-info-page hate me so much?"
See Post 35 on this thread. Next.

"I am holding a pen, which has no indication on the outside as to the colour it will write. What colour will the pen write?"
The pen will write in the color Pen. Which is a color only found in pens. Not to be confused with Pencil which is a sorta grayish black color. Next.

"What´s my true name?"
I should guess Eddie but that would be the easy thing to do. So I'm going to say that your name is Ezekial Franchesco Bannana Fanna Fo Fresco Pizzaro the Third.

Why is life such a pr*ck tease?

I'm not the expert on this but I'd have to say that evil and bad things exist to show us how good the good things are.

Dunno. Next.

Cool name!
Why don´t we have those smilies everyone wants:

Because the awesome coolness of those smilies would cause h2g2 to collapse into itself and become a black hole of coolness. No other cool could escape it. Which in itself would be briefly cool before hole2g2 absorbed that too. Next.

Why don't I have eyes at the back of my head, so I can see the screen of the computer and watch TV at the same time?

Because. Next.



....

Oh fine. Because if you had eyes in the back of your head then the horror movie industry would collapse. How would the movie people be surprised about the person being behind them if they had eyes on the back of the head.

So the horror movie industry, fearing their declining profits used Well's Time Machine to go back in time and stop you from having eyes on the back of your head. Next.

To answer ?: Yes, but only when the moon is directly above the Alter of Banishing. Next.

Will there always be Romance?

Yes. Until the robots replace us. And then they will yearn to love but won't be able to.

Will the robots scream "Exterminate! Exterminate!"?
And no, I don´t know Doctor Who...