h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am not the underwear of anyones grandparents and I hope I don't sound like the either.

Maybe your grandmother chose to be reincarnated rather than going to hell. If I was given the choice thats what I would do. Or maybe she got into heaven.

That underwear sounds like Fred!

That underwear sounds *too* much like Fred! How dare he talk about my granny that way! My granny wouldn't even dream about going to heaven!

This is outrageous! Let's call the Ghostbusters!

I'll get Bill Murray on the phone.

Got the number?

'When there's something strange in the neighbourhood, who're you gonna call - Ghostbusters!'

Why didn't they put in their phone number in that song?

867-53...No wait...That was another song...

2468 motorway... nah, that's not it...

Doo wah diddy...No wait...That doesn't even have numbers...

Argh! I can't remember! It's *not* the ramalama ding dong, that much I know!

Are you sure?

Who ya gonna call
Ramalama ding dong

Well, dial it then. I could be wrong.

Okay...Rama...Lama...Ding...Dong...

*waits*

It's ringing.

*waits*

Yes, hello...

Would this be the ghostbusters?

Ah...

So, I don't suppose you'd happen to know the number, would you?

Uh huh...

Yeah...

Uh huh...

Could you repeat that?

Okay...

Thanks...

I got it.

1-800-GO-TO-HELL

Oh. They must have changed it. What a strange number, by the way. You'd think they got fed up and closed the business, or something. Well? Dial it then.

1...8...00...GO...TO...HELL...

It's ringing, again.

*waits*

Hello, yes...

Is this the ghostbusters, then...

Uh huh...

Uh huh...

Yeah...

*covers mouthpiece*

It's them.

*uncovers mouthpiece*

We're having a problem with some possessed undies...

Yes, that's right...

Oh, so you have a special team for that, do you...

Yeah, we're over on Fred's space...

Righty-oh...

*hangs up*

Right, they're sending over the Possessed Undies Special Team.

Very good. Finally we're going to get rid of Fred once and for all, and I can go home and finish my brilliant Ode to the Dominator.

O Dominator, cui buno
Labor omnia vincit
Latet anguis in herba
Undies defeated
Gloriaaaaaa

And it is extremely brilliant, too.

Could you sing that part about anguis in herba, again?

Latet anguis in herbaaaaaa - that part? Yeah, I'm kind of proud of that one.

*applauds*

I have no idea what it means, but I'm sure it's something very good.

Uhm... I think it means, goo (not that kind of goo) on the ground. Which happens to be rather fitting.

Oh, yes. Very fitting. You did leave out the part where I was chained to the farmer, didn't you?