h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Especially the one against slimeworms in your lungs and the one that prevents the black ants from laying eggs under your eyelids.

That's what I get for posting that link isn't it?

Oh no - not at all, you took your shots the other day, didn't you?

You *didn't*!!!???

Yeah, of course I took my shots.

I got the less expensive, "Placebo Plan."

Ah, good for you!

Uhm... You have red spots on your face, Arthbard, and there's a slimeworm coming out of your nose. I'ts brownish with green and pink dots.

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...Crap...

Look at that, I have vomitworms all over my hair!

- Any cures, you think?

ack...ugh...*cough*

Let me just grab this doctor here and order him to find a cure, but not for Fred.

No, doctor, stay off Fred. We kind of enjoy watching those worms moving their slimey offspring in and out of his ears. And, look, Arthbard! Fred's nose is rotting off his face! Look at those fat flies coming out of the hole! Isn't this delightfully disgusting?

Ha ha, Fred. Take that! How are you gonna dominate the world without a nose? Huh? Tell me that much. How?

Yeah, Fred, you do look kind of silly like that! You think anybody will take noseless dominator seriously? You'll have to redo *all* your clever plans to fit that noselessness in!

Yeah, no one's going to follow a noseless, non-backlog-reading-world-dominator-wannabe.

Uh-oh, his left arm fell off...

So, Fred, are you right-handed or...Actually, I guess I don't need to ask anymore, do I?

You are ever so cute when you are nasty, Arthbard!

See that? Those hairy viruses over there are carrying off Fred's ear!

So, Fred, how does that make you feel?

Oh, I'm sorry...

SO, FRED HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL!

Oooo! How wonderfully nasty!

Hear that, Fred? Oh, guess not!

Maybe we can communicate with Fred through a series of hand gestures. I only know one hand gesture, though, and it really only requires one finger.

It's so expressive, that gesture! Says all we will ever need to say! I think it will work just fine!

Uh-oh, maybe not. His eyes fell out.

Hmm...Oh, I know how we can communicate! Let's poke him with this stick.