h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Currently listening to: Myself singing 'Niña' from the MGM musical The Pirate "Niña, Niña-Niña-Niña, fascinating Niña, fairly drive me wild..." *Sigh* I have made it a life task to once see that movie I needed to start on an impossible project. That movie has been out of print for years...

Okay, I would have gotten hysterical on my father if he ever attempted a stunt like that. Why on earth..? I wouldn't have managed to sleep at night.

Guess who's coming to Noorway! Guess who's coming to Nooorway! Sir Anthony will, Sir Anthony will! Okay, I'm starting to annoy even myself... Anyway, I knew that peace-prize thingy would do us good somehow. Should I kidnap him for your pleasure?

Well, the course was finished today. We never learned that whole dance we were promised, but I at least got down some very useful steps Well, I guess I dance for my own enjoyment now. How strange. It's really the best kick in the world when you manage to do a tricky dance combination, but I guess it's a bit like being a drug addict; You only live for the very few highs you get now and then I've decided on buying the shoes the tutor let me borrow, I'm definately taking this up as an hobby (I have no idea for how long. A couple of weeks? A couple of days? Years? Who knows) Well, it's a bit of trivia that the shoes was bought for Kari Trebakk (I think that was her name ), the hostess of the daily Norwegian TV show, 'Good Morning, Norway' Ah well, I didn't say I cared...

Hm, I can't for the life of me think of any books I think are good who you haven't read. Well, maybe some Stephen King... Should you stumble over 'The Phantom of the Opera' by Gaston Leroux it's a really good horror novel, not at all like the musical... Oh, and 'Phantom' by Susan Key reminds me much of Anne Rice's style in a good way

*Sigh* I'm starting to panic now. My school 'week' lasts for two weeks, and in that period we have a mass of homework to get finished... Problem is, the period ends this Wednesday, and since I was sick in the start and worked with lots of other projects after that, I still haven't halfway of it all finished! I'm doomed They gotta understand I was sick for three working days right? Oh my God, they must...

It's so unlike me to worry about school. I don't like it thus far...

Toodles!

"All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it."
-H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

"It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar."
-Jerome K. Jerome (1859 - 1927)

Currently listening to: my hurried tapping on the key board. I'm trying very hard to get an interesting posting in before I have to leave for the cinema.

Whaaaat?! Anthony's going to Norway?! *faints* Please do kidnap him, the chances of me having the opportunity are very slight Would you please? I'd appreciate it very much. Don't make me use the puppy dog eyes...

Nope I'm sorry. Even with the thrilling prospect of a high like LSD, never can I take up dancing. It's so awkward! I've never been very coordinated, that's why I found playing the piano so hard. I liked playing the guitar although I never had a proper lesson, only my Uncle teaching me a few chords whenever he could (which wasn't that often) Shame really, I enjoyed it a lot

I just reminded myself, yesterday I found out that when I'm concentrating really hard I look quite demented I caught a glimpse of myself reflected in the window in front of my drafting desk. My god, I look insane! The closest example I can relate to you would have to be:
http://www.clockworkorange.com/graphics/Durango.jpg
Gee, I've noticed myself pulling odd faces every time I sit down to concentrate. A big grin spreads across my face, my eyebrows knit together and sink down to my nose, my eye starts to twitch and then my tongue sticks out just a bit and often rubs my canine teeth
No wonder everyone stares at me in Art! I look like I may have just put anthrax in the powder paints

Oooh dear, a bit behind in the homework are we? If it's any comfort to you, I'm screwed too. I have two A3 full colour details to do for art and a breif history on each one of the still life painters I chose and THEN I have to write a breif evaluation on each of the artists work, using an A4 page long worth of questions that were given to us. Now, these questions do seem a tad stupid, my favourite is:
"Does the Artist reflect a Political statement via his work?"
Considering we are doing still life, and the artists we were given all did bowls of fruit and various other non political things, I think it's safe to say that they are NOT trying to spur on the working man rebellious mob, but are simply painting a bowl of fruit
To be honest, I don't give a s**t whether Vincent Van Gogh was reflecting his inner turmoil by using greens and swirls. I guess he painted because he was good at it and thought he could sell them, not because it was a form of self expression. Here's news for you! SELF EXPRESSION DOESN'T PAY THE BILLS!!!

Ahem, so sorry about that pointless and directionless outburst. Things will be back to normal as soon as the men in white coats give Nate double her usual amount of morphine..

Well, I've decided on what book I'm going to buy. I was lurking about my friends personal spaces to see what they are interested in. I was hoping that maybe I could read one of their favourite books and then bring it up in conversation, in the process making me look good and gaining me instant popularity with the person in question A cheap trick I know, but I was stuck for ideas. After several mentions of the name, ie Monty Python and Bob, I decided on somthing by Nietzsche. So I guess that's what it will be.. either that or 'The Bell Jar'

Well I'd better go and get ready, I have so much to do before I can go. I have to get changed, have a bath, pick up all the dirty laundry off the floor so my Mum can get the Pest Control men in, then I have to ring a friend back (He always rings while I'm asleep in bed ) and then beg for my pocket money *sigh* Wish me luck..

Ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: That 'Niña' song again. I'm getting really obsessed All I do all day is going around humming "...Niña, you enchant me, niña, you're so sweet, I mean ya..." It got a really attaching melody, okay?

Well, I can give it a try kidnapping him, but last time anyone famous visited Norway he was protected like he was made of pure plutonium ... Like when Bush was here (why bother? I ask) or Beatles-Paul. There will be guards with rifles everywhere in the capital city. I start to wonder why they call it the Nobel's Peace Prize Besides, I just learned that Josh Groban will be here too, so I'll probably have my hands full

Hm, I never could stand playing guitar. It always sounded so... ploingy. I leave all the guitar-playing over to my sister, where it doesn't sound half bad.

Oh, talking about music, I have written a songtext I wrote it as I had that awful fever. Well, the rhyming is dire, but this was my plan: I write a song which will one day top every hitlist i the world, but it got such a bizarre text everybody will try to figure it out, but no one ever will I must say I was slightly inspired by 'A Whiter Shade of Pale'. Well, here's an extract from a verse (and don't think less of me because of this, I made it bad on purpose )
The snow keeps falling
The Blind Man's sad
The tablecloth and his friends
Must start to think me mad
The cat is resting easily
Upon it's cross of blood
The French are singing 'Marseillase'
As the lady eats with Todd

Very Vogonesque, eh? Let me see some poetry professor trying to make any profound self expression with that, except I'm mad! MUAHAHAHAHaaa!!

Hm, I still haven't read any Nietzsche yet You tell me what it's like. I got so much homework and hell I don't have any time for reading pleasures *Sigh* Today I even came to school, and discovered I was an hour early (Actually, the first class was cancelled, but everybody was told that on Tuesday when I wasn't there... Well, it seems to be going better with homework. Now I only got some Norwegian and Art left.

Oh, yes, we're having a really cool art project: Wall decorating Well, since our school is soon to be torn down, they couldn't see any harm with us painting a bit on the walls. The task was visualizing one of your interests in an artistic way. I'm working with Siri and Sheila and the teacher simply loved the idea

Imagine this: Our interest; Music, Dance and Drama. There's a street. On the left side, painted by Siri, you see a Baroque-esque composer by a piano with his back turned, playing Music. On the right, painted by Sheila, you see a big gothic theatre, showing, of course, drama. And in the middle, by me... *drumroll* you see Gene Kelly, swinging in a lamp post and of course singin' in the rain, symbolizing all thee subjects.
Right now we're only by the sketching board, of course, but I'm really excited. I've made a lot of drafts, but I'm basically trying to make a copy of the classic shot:
http://www.smirk.com/jim/gkpics/gk-lamppost.jpg
I'm awful at painting, though, and enlarging images... Ther will be a lot of love in this one, yup I gotta be sure to take a picture before it's torn down...

Toodles!

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."
-Oscar Wilde

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
-Oscar Wilde

Currently listening to: my dark mutterings, I'm not quite sure why but I'm suddenly in a bad mood Might be due to the fact that I went to 'Waterstones' today. Every single employee in there has some sort of social disorder, every time I go in there at least one clerk tries to charge me extra or

Anyway, today I went it, got my book (they didn't have any Nietzsche, so I bought some violent peice of literature instead) and walked up to the counter, put my book on the desk and flashed the man my sweetest 'Please just charge me and let me go alive' smile.
He looked at me like I'd just asked to sleep with his mother. He scowled and snatched the book off the counter, muttered somthing dark and threatening, and then rang it up. He shoved it back at me and said
"That's £6.80"
"WHAAT?"
"I SAID IT'S £6.80!"
At this point I snatched the book back, told him that half price means half of the price, then called him a 'cretin' and advised him to invest in a calculator. He nearly spat at me. He then asked for the correct amount, I told him to say please, he ignored me and took my money, he then shoved the book and reciept at me, I then asked for a bag, he nearly soffocated me with it

Well, I've finally seen Red Dragon.. given all it's bad reviews, it wasn't actually half bad. It could have been better, the choice of actors was a bit suspect and the quality of the acting was somewhat poor by certain cast members but apart from that it was pretty damn good. My friend lept out of her chair a couple of times but I just sat laughing and smiling in a sinister fashion.. hmm, that makes me sound extremely warped doesn't it?

I didn't think that your poem sounded Vogon like.. that's insulting to Vogons Nah, it was really good. Much better than I could do.

Uh oh, got to go now. For fear of death I need to spend some time with my tarot cards anyway, I've found out that they are surprisingly accurate
Ta,

-Nate

Currently listening to: My mother discussing something with Trond, a colleague over for tea...

Ah. Not much the costumer's always right, eh? I once was buying two sodas, and the clerk just couldn't make out the math involving such a gigantic purchase Oh, I just got a letter... I owe the library 50 Norwegian kroner!! That can't be! I miss a few returns, throw away some very rude letters and suddenly they want me to pay 50 kr for a stinkin' book? Evil, the whole bunch...

Ah, I'm glad you liked my poem. When it's on the hitlist and I die in a spectacular death possibly involving three cars, sleeping pills and the ghost of Elvis, you can be the only person who knows it doesn't mean squat Gee, I should be commited... Wait! Maybe I am already? *Casts an accusing look towards the neighbour who always peeks in our window wearing a white coat with the MD-sing*

Well, I should go to bed now. Tomorrow will be another day!

Toodles!

This is my third attempt at posting up a reply for you. Just now, the stupid computer froze as I pressed 'Preview Message' and the first time I accidentally closed the window as I was about to post Ahh well, you know what they say, third times a charm:

"Maturity is only a short break in adolescence."
-Jules Feiffer

"Age is no guarantee of maturity."
-Lawana Blackwell, The Courtship of the Vicar's Daughter, 1998

Currently listening to: my curses and swears. I have 'Singing In The Rain' stuck in my head (mainly due to the bad weather) and I can't stop singing it! I've tried everything I can think of to get it out of my head, but all I can think of is swinging on lamp posts and jumping waving an umbrella about. I've tried doing that but all I get is strange looks..

Haha, so you went against my advice and continued to use the library eh? So the librarian doesn't like you enough to let you escape a hefty fine eh? I told you, but you didn't listen. Ooh, I do feel clever

Oh dear, got to go. I'm in deep trouble for some reason
Ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: Some American movie on the TV...

Oh, I know when it's clear the computer has been mapping your internet interests, and just when it knows you're doing something you enjoy, it shut down, freezes or just explodes into a zillion burning plastic bits Evil buggers, computers...

Oh, it can be sooo cool to have Singin' in the Rain stuck in one's head! Savour it - no one else I know have the slightest idea what that means. If you menation it to anyone in school they'll launch into the two first lines and get annoyed when I either correct them, continue singing or display some light-hearted lamppost-swinging techniques That's a brilliant scene, but they only think it's a children's song only containing the lines, "I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain"... When I called a girl in class un-cultural because of the argument she looked as she was just about to spit me in the face...

Ugh, the snow has been falling and today it rained in addition The... whole... day. I can feel myself spiralling down into my yearly depression I need something to keep my mind off the weather, darkness and cold. I've been trying to start writing short-stories again, but my mind is all dried up. I've been watching all my favourite movies, but my eyes are allready tired because of the vast sea of snow... Someone save me!

I've been thinking about making collections of things that are nearly impossible to find, like old MGM musicals and Duke Ellington albums. Soon I'll buy those tapping shoes and then I at least can start to train up my creativity again I'm thinking about making up a dream guy again, just to keep my mind occupied A very sad hobby I have; I do it about every other year, when I maybe doodle a bit and make up a face I like, then I give him a name, a background story, I make sketches, write him some short stories and soon everyone I know will know everything about him Till now I've been making those romantic 1800 poets with curly hair, but now I'm thinking something more rugged. Spanish piraty perhaps. And there I go...

Well, tomorrow I'm going on a class trip to Oslo to see the early home of Henrik Ibsen Whoopi-doo... At least it's some planning day for the teachers on Friday, so we get a day off

Toodles!

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
-Bill Watterson

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
-Harriet Martineau

Currently listening to: my Mum humming along to some song by Jimi Hendrix while sorting out a VAST pile of letters (over 600) that she has to send to clients. I can safely say, having had a lifetimes worth of experience, I certainly don't want to go into the design business.

It's been one of those days where I've had to knuckle down and get some serious work done So I spent my entire day working on my much discussed Art homework. I only managed to get one picture done, the other I'll have to do tommorow along with the evaluations etc.
It was only made bearable by the fact that I got to choose my own painting to copy. I chose to copy a painting by Cezanne, a pyramid of skulls
It was quite fun, except when it came to the colouring part. I've never used Oil Pastels before so I was a bit clueless as to what to do, but I tried and the finished result was quite impressive for a first time at using that medium. My hands are killing me As you probably know, you can't blend or smudge Oil Pastels very well but I tried and the end result was a throbbing blister on my thumb. But besides that I'm surprisingly chipper!

"I'm thinking about making up a dream guy again"
Hmm, that isn't such a bad idea. I think I'll have a go at that, I do need somthing to take my mind off school work. I'll give it some thought and I'll get right back to you tommorow or as soon as I come up with the perfect man. I'm thinking along the lines of: rugged good looks, bad-guy, evil insane killer, educated, rich, sensitive... (a sensitive insane killer ) Oh dear, you've got me started..

I do the same sort of thing when working on a fictional peice of work for school or home or whatever. I make a profile of my character, sometimes do a quick sketch, a few short stories that sort of thing. Hell, it works! I did just get a very good mark for my last peice of fiction writing

Hmm, I still have 'Singing In The Rain' stuck in my head. It's been three days now, this isn't looking good. I need to find the whole song words, could you help me out there? I keep on correcting and checking myself, so it would help if you could give me the whole song.. Pleeeaassee

I'm holding my breath. Tommorow I should recieve a CD in the post, if it doesn't come tommorow I'll sit by the letterbox and cry. I'll cry continuously until either it comes or my parents shoot me. Either way, I'll be cheered up emmensely

My finger is killing me, please exscuse me while I go shove my hand in the freezer
Ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: Julian Littman singing 'Zero Hour'. Ah, how 70s. "Zero hour, zero hour, sneaks upon you like a thief. Zero hour, zero hour, you can't find relief..."

Ugh, I've never used Oil Pastels either. Thinking about it, I seldom use anything but pencils and pens. I really haven't tried much else ...

Well, yesterday's class trip was quite fun, but it seemed like we walked through the whole of Oslo twice We went to the museum of modern art, and seeing what's supposed to be art never cease to amaze me What was it this time? A video close-up of a dog's tongue, panting A staircase with metal chains spun round. A room completely bare, except for the sound of pigs oinking... I'm still amazed.
As all the walking soon became very boring, me and some other girls made a little competition of walking behind Prof. Petter, trying to figure out what it says on the buttons on his bag, without him noticing. He certainly turned around with a puzzled look a dozen times Imagine three girls continuing to walk behind you with their heads down and bent knees, staring frantically at your bag. I won in the end. Hah!
And then we visited the old, kept apartment of Ibsen. It was all quite boring and dark, except for our guide. Could be his 1900 tweed suit, his cute haricut, his querky sense of humour, or his acting talents,but I found him immensely attractive Furthermore, he looked me in the eyes all the times as he was telling of the author. Even when he answered other people's questions, he seemed to talk only to me... I think either
A) it must have shown I liked him
B) He must have learned to stare at the people seated centre in the room to seem like a good storyteller
C) I was the only one at all looking at him
D) He must have thought I looked immensely blank and naive, and tried with all his might to make me understand

That's how much thought I lay into a guy looking at me as he is telling stories I actually managed to catch a few highly amusing anecdotes, like that the 12th commandment of the bohemians is, (told in a really nasal, creepy voice while clawing in the air) "You must commit suicide..." Sorry, it was how he told it that really made me choke with giggles Oh, and one of the few things I admire about Ibsen; He was a really grumpy, arguing man and proud of it. As he was laying on his deathbed, he overheard the nurse telling his family "I think he's getting better." he raised his head as much as he mustered, and said with a frown "Quite the opposite!" and promptly died. I thought that was some immensely cool last words

Another thing that happened yesterday, as the class was walking past the National Theatre, PRof. Petter came up to me, pulled me to a deserted corner (Wait with your hoots ), pointed at the poster of "The Importance of Being Earnest" and said "You GOTTA see this!" My jaw must have dropped to the ground. I can't remember ever telling him that I love Oscar Wilde, which means he quite impressingly must have managed to figure my humour out! Well, you know what that means, don't ya? *Launches into vaudeville song* "Soon the churchbells will be ringin' and we'll march with Ma and Pa. Soon the churchbells will be ringin' with a hey, manny-manny and a ha-cha-cha..."

I'll stop now, I promise But, hey! Aren't you lucky! I've just written an entry on the song Singin' in the Rain, and just got it submitted for sub-editing If you're looking for the lyrics, go to A842104 and scroll down to the bottom. Voila!

I'm so tired in my arms, amazingly enough. I walk a whole day through, and next day I can't raise my arms over my head. I'm exhausted just by typing this...

Toodles!

P.S.: Ooh, I'm intrigued. What CD?

"There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again."
-Clint Eastwood

"A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences."
-Dave Meurer, "Daze of Our Wives"

Currently listening to: "Tilly and Petter sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love then comes marriage and then..." Uhm, I've forgotten what comes next. Somthing about a baby carriage

Oh honestly! Modern Art is the same in Norway too? *sigh* You should try visiting the Tate Modern, they have some extremely bizarre exhibits which really question my everything I once understood about art They have a piano dangling from the ceiling with all it's insides hanging out, a canvas painted blue, some rocks placed around a room in a swirly pattern (this confuses the tourists, and they often try to follow them to the center not knowing they are comitting a serious social gaffe by walking on the exhibit) and they have, well they used to, I can't remember if it's still there: a peice of rolled up carpet shoved under a sofa with a face projected onto the carpet of a woman, and they play a recording of a voice saying "Oh my god, it's so beautiful! Oh wow.." and so forth Very interesting I'm sure, but is it art?

Gee, Ibsen strikes me as having been a really neat old guy! I guess I now have a reason to start reading his books again. I grew tired of them pretty fast... Ok, If I'm going to be honest here: I read the first page and then I fell asleep.

Oh honestly, why don't you just grab Prof Petters backside. It's hardly subtle I know, but all this giggly girly flirting is obviously confusing him.

"Imagine three girls continuing to walk behind you with their heads down and bent knees, staring frantically at your bag."
Oh yeah, happens to me every time I go to school. You see, my school bag is actually extremely fashionable at the moment and so is everything Emily Strange (Damnnit!!) People no longer know me by my name, they call me Emily instead It's seriously starting to piss me off. I came very close to shoving my hand down someones throat who kept on calling me Emily. But instead I just called them a very rude word and showed them how proud I am to be an archer.. if you get my little joke then you will realise how unfunny it is. If you don't get it, then I'll just pretend that it's funny

Hey, there's a Hedgehog on our lawn! Awww, he's sooo cute.. there's somthing about them that just makes me feel all fuzzy and warm inside I wuv hegehogs..
[SERVICES WILL SOON BE BACK TO NORMAL]

~~~RANT OF THE DAY~~~
~SUBJECT: CD'S AND MY SCHOOL BUS~
Hmm, well my CD hasn't come in the post I sniffed for a bit, but I didn't cry. What a brave little soldier I am..
You see, I'm in desperate need of some CD's! 99% of all CD's I get, are either stolen by my Dad or I let a friend borrow and I never see them again!
The school bus I get on is packed full of hyperactive youngsters who make so much noise you consider if it's worth tearing your head off because it would be less painful than listening to that lot At times like this all I can do is either:
a) bury myself in a book
b) go on a mad killing spree
I usually do the first one, but it's so hard to escape their stupid laughs and grunts. I found out that it was doable if I listened to my personal CD player. But the problem is I don't have any frigging CD's! So decided to buy one via the net. I needed a CD which:
1) my Dad and my friends wouldn't touch
2) had good music on it (well, duh)
3) was heavy and throbbing enough to drown out the sound of wasted youth
So in the end the natural choice was Muse. I liked them, and the album I was going to buy was a double CD. So everything worked out nicely.
But the CD didn't arrive today. Which is very naughty because it promised to be dispatched in 2-5 days. The only reason I'm so impatient is because I go back to school on Monday and I'm going to need it in order to survive the journey. There really should be a smiley..

Well if you were judging this guide on his querky sense of humour, or his acting talents.. you could just as easily be falling in love with me Haha, now that would be scary..

I've got to go now, my Dad's taking me to yet another bookshop! Sadly, it's Waterstones Which means I'll probably buy an 'Anger Managment Course' and then a 'How to Cope With a Mental Breakdown' step by step guide.
Maybe, just maybe the staff with treat me with respect for once....... Hahahahah

Ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: "What? My Yvonne, captured by the Purple Terror?" Sorry, that line is just stuck in my brain I watched 'Singin' in the Rain' the other day, and instead of getting stuck with the title song, I can't forget one of speeches. I'm afraid I'm going to burst it out in the middle of a conversation. It's just perching there, on top of my thoughts... My sister had the same problem, only she was terrified she would sudenly cry out a really obscene sentence she had picked up from a girl's magazine

Well, school demands us to read Ibsen's... er... Do you call it "A Doll House"? I think so, but I'm not in a legal state of mind right now. Well, the one with Nora and Thorvald Helmer. Oh, and if you know, could you please tell me what it's translated with when Nora says that shocking thing? In Norwegian it's originally "Death and Pain" (referring to Jesus Christ) but I've always (okay, then, not always) wondered what she says in other languages

As I'm in a puzzled mood today, you could perhaps try to explain another translation-thingy. Okay, you have the white, blessed dove symbolizing peace, and then you have the dirty, grey, infested pigeon which you can Poison in the Park... I wonder; Except for the colour, are they so different to you?
You see, in Norway the two have exatly the same name ("due", obviously from "dove") when you originally have two different names. Gee, I've wondered about that for ages...

Ugh, our printer is acting like crap these days. We've run out of some colour ink, so imagine when I try to print out a picture; grey turns green, black turns blue, orange and pink becomes yellow... I've been nagging at my parents for weeks to have the ink thingy replaced... To quote Winnie-The-Pooh (or was it Alice in Wonderland) ) "Strawberry jam yesterday, strawberry jam tomorrow, but never strawberry jam today!"

I know what you mean with bringing the DiscMan I do it every day, although I don't have to use the schoolbus. It's just something to fill up my dayly trip with since I live on an area some way from my friends, I like to use a different routes than many, and, darnit, sometimes I enjoy being alone! Well, anyway, I'm quite dependent on music to make my long walk seem shorter

Well, I feel a headache coming up (a whole day all for myself and no school, and I get a headache! )

Toodles!

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
-Edward De Bono

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
-James Thurber

Currently listening to: me swearing at someone online. What is it with people making me their contacts just to annoy me and be stupid I have no idea who this person is but I'm seconds away from calling them an 'Irksome little s**t' Whoops! No worries, they just blocked me

Well. Yet again, I am wearing a bad shirt. Ho hum, yes a bad shirt. It's worrying when you only wear mens clothes, my Mum is starting to panic and my Dad keeps on calling me Nathaniel That's his idea of a hillarious joke: to pretend he thinks I'm a boy. In fact, I'm not even sure he's just pretending..

Hmm, are pigeons and doves so different to me? Well when you say dove, what most people don't realise is that doves are pigeons. Yup, it says so here in my book.
"Turtle Dove ('Streptopelia turtur') 28 cm Medium-small pigeon"
So I take that to mean Pigeons and doves are of the same family, what family I'm not sure.
The Rock dove is the ancestor to widespread ferrel pigeons of town centers, which I believe, are the ones you wish to poison. You'd like Ken Livingstone
If you look carefully you should see that the rock dove, stock dove and the common woodpigeon both have the telltale greenish metallic sheen around the neck. Also the necks are a giveaway, the rock dove has little neck while the turtle dove has a long delicate neck.. and a slightly more slender body.. hmm, I'm really starting to sound dorky now aren't I ?

I promise to have a look at my copy of Ibsens 'a Dolls House' as soon as I can find it. I just went and had a look, but it wasn't anywhere to be found. Hmmm.. very odd. If it isn't on one of my bookshelves then it's either in the car or in one of my many bags. My rucksacks, my fishermans bag, my ES shoulder bag or my hikers pack.. you take your pick and I'll go have a look

I still have one more painting to do I'll have to do it tommorow because I've been too tired to do it today. Ok, if we replace tired with lazy then we have my real reason..

I'd better go, I'm going to ask my Dad if we can make the hour long trip to my Grandads now. Yes, I know it's late but I miss him so much! Ya, I'm really a big softy who misses her Grandaddy

Ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: My father washing up the dishes...

Argh! I hate this computer! The last few days it's been acting slower than... Something really slow! It's always been slow, but now the internet connection takes forever to work! Ssh! Don't tell anyone, but I have a theory that it has something to do with that I downloaded the "Morpheus" programme from the internet some days ago... But I want my fair share of mp3s, darnit! You take some, lose some...

Ah yes, now it's all much clearer to me. Doves and pigeons. And yes, you managed quite impressingly to sound dorky Now let's sing! "My heart will be quickening with each drop with strychenine we feed to a pigeon, lalaalala, to poison the pigeons in the park!" I sang some of it for my classmates the other day, didn't even get a reaction. So few of them at all knew what "pidgeon" and "poison" meant Blagh...

Oh! Oh! This is a new game. I say - oh, what shall I pick? - What about..? - No, that's not good... - I want you to check your... hikers pack! Yes, that's right, your hikers pack! Wahooey, doesn't take much to please me, eh?

Hm, I'm going to watch "New on News" now! Can't wait! (As I said, it doesn't take much to please me )

Toodles!

"How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct."
-Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881), speech, January 24, 1860

"Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs."
-Christopher Hampton

Currently listening to: Micheal Palin on the TV. Ahhh, I love Saturday mornings..

Hmm, Morpheus. My friend swears by it, he even offered to download all my favourite songs for me, what a nice guy. But that was two years ago and I'm still waiting. He's ok really, just very forgetful. He has to put up lists of what he has to take to school each day, down to his underwear

*puts on a show biz voice and a glittery jacket* Okaaaaaay!! Lets get ready to play 'Wheeeere'ssss Ibsen?'
You said in the hiking pack! Let's have a look and see if Ibsens in the bag, drum roll please..
Oh Tilly, I'm so sorry. I can tell you that Ibsens a dolls house ISN'T in my bag. Better luck next time. And now a word from our sponsors..

What is it with you and pigeons? Why do you hate them so much? I know they're grimy, ugly, messy and fith ridden but why do you feel compelled to go and poison them? They're not *that* bad..

Well.. I still haven't made a start on my Art homework. I'm going to have to do it, this is for the exams. This work is very important, it is going to found my adult life. That may be, but sure as hell is hot is it boring!

I'd better go now, my Mum is hinting that she needs help cleaning the kitchen Things just aren't going my way today..
Ta,

-Nate

Currently listening to: A Swedish soap opera on the telly. Oh gee, how much there is to watch on Saturdays

Well, the internet is here to test us. I haven't opened the Morpheus programme for a couple of days to see if it helps on the slowness, but now I can't access about half of the pages I *really* need to check out each day Nooo! For instance, my mail. Can't get to it. 404 - file not found. Each time. Yesterday I sent out an e-mail with the title "Please answer ASAP!!" and now I can't check if I've even gotten it Arrgh! And it's always the same websites. My mail, the Ball fan club forum, my webpage, the gallery with Commedia Dell'Arte paintings I really need to svipe a couple of pictures from before my big project is due for presentation... Gaaah!

Well, honestly, I don't hate pigeons. They are nice birds, not at all troublesome (except for all the times they decide to attack my bike with bird-droppings) it's just that... Okay, I'm going to be embarassignly honest here... It's just that I love the song "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" by Tom Lehrer. After that, everybody assumed I actually wished to poison them ("Except for the few we take home to ex-peri-ment ...") But honestly, I'd never do that. I just think it's hilarious singing about doing that

Hm, other than all the internet trouble, I feel like this is my day The sun is shining, the snow is melting, I just spent a couple of hours on reading "The Little Prince" while snuggling up to my teddybear and generally crying my eyes out , later tonight I'm going to eat delicious tacos , and finally dad is taking me to the cinema! We're going to see "Road to Perdition", I have no idea if it's anytihng for me. I just happen to like the 1920s, mafia and Tom Hanks I honestly meant to see the Red Dragon, but it wasn't on at any convinient times...

Well, I should log off, shut down the computer, turn off the little connection-thingy and then see if I get any luck restarting it all! Wish me luck!

Toodles!

"Think of yourself as an incandescent power, illuminated and perhaps forever talked to by God and his messengers."
-Brenda Ueland

"They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse."
-Emily Dickinson

Currently listening to: Eastenders on the TV, this is one of the more depressing episodes. Little Mo is being harassed by her stalker/rapist soon to be divorced husband, Tom has told Sharon he's dying of a tumour and only has a few months to live and Gus is writing upsetting poetry about the girl he loves leaving him. I'm not sure if you've ever come across it before, but if you're not used to it, Eastenders can be reeaaalllyyy depressing.

I want to see Road to Perdition! You've got to tell me what it's like, I've heard good things about it from my friend but I'm not sure if it's any good. As we have VERY different taste in films, we're not on the same wave-length where quality is concerned. For example, she didn't like 'The Silence of the Lambs' OR 'Hannibal'

Wahey! I've found my clans tartan! My great Gran was a Hutchinson and that gives me a connection to the scots! I have Scottish blood in me, ach! This is the closest one I could find, it told us that this was our clans one. But I'm not 100% sure:
http://www.tartans.scotland.net/tartan_info.cfm?tartan_id=26
I must get my giddy little thrills where I can

Well, I *finally* got around to doing my homework today. My god, it took me 6 solid hours of work but I've finally got it done I've never wanted to dance so much in my entire life. Maybe I should go outside and swing on that lamp post for a bit.. I'm so happy I could very well go and do that right now. In fact, I think I will
Ta,

-Nate

Currently listening to: 'The Gilmore Girls' on the telly Gosh, how I hate that show. It's so humorous and ironic and sweet...

Ah yes, I remember watching Eastenders. Each workday it was on at about the exactly same time as I got home from school. I think there was about five or six episodes a day. No one watched it though I did sometimes, but not that I can remember a single character or plot though. One was gay, I am pretty certain of

Well, Road to Perdition was very different, in a great way I simply would not have survived another cheesy comedy or anything like that... Well, judged by how I feel at the time, it was just THE best movie. Very good acting (is it just me, or does Tom Hanks get better the more weight he puts on? ), very beautifully made (the light and angles was just breathtaking - and I don't say that a lot), very violent And Jude Law can act as evil and weazel-like he can muster, but I still think he's just so darn cute Well, I left with the impression that the movie was very 'The Godfather', without having any authority on the subject, since I still haven't seen it If I shall complain on anything, I can only say that the plot was quite easy to figure out early in the movie, but I still got a *really* big surprise in the end of the movie, without giving anything away

Oh, and there was first a movie trailer for 'Red Dragon'. I was the only one in the room that giggled

- Daily Rant -
Today's subject: The cinema audience
Could someone please tell me why there's ALWAYS someone seated right behind me that always giggles at the inappropriate and serious scenes?
Voice from movie: "Oh my God! Don't die..! Please don't die..! NOOO!!"
B*****d sitting behind me: "*Snigger* *Giggle* Eh heheh..."
And don't let me start on the candy-unwrappers. At once there is an important or slow scene, for instance with dialogue, they start sloooowly to wrap the open! Yes, I can say I'm no spring chicken of bringing individually wrapped candy to the cinema, but first, I wait until there for instance is a shooting scene, loud enough to drown out the sound, and second, I give them swift pain; I tear the candypaper open fast, so you only hear a quick "Chkrt!" Instead of the slow, torturing "Chhhk... Thk... Kthg-chirch..." all the time till the cows come home...
And last of all - the talkers. They talk their way all through the movie. Either they've seen the movie before and make sure no one gets surprised by the turns of the story, or they are so amazingly stupid they think they sound intelligent by stating the very obvious.
Bad cowboy: "Argh! I've got shot!" (He clenches the bleeding wound, falls to the ground as the good cowboy puts away his smoking gun)
B*****d in the audience: "He got shot!"
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, why can't anyone understand that simple message?

Ah, finished. All good This is why don't go to the cinema very often. Oh, I see that "Casablanca" and Chaplin's "The Dictator" will soon be reshown on the cinema's throughout Oslo. I gotta make sure I'll see them as the creators intended them to be shown! (And I'll try not to bite anyone's head off...)

Ooh, you're so lucky to have something to impress people with from your line of blood. I am getting pretty tiresome with the constant "Oh, look at me! I've got English blood in my veins!" The name of Clark isn't so impressive to the Norwegian people, Barkers even less so... I would have gotten more status if I actually was *born* in England as Sheila in the other class is born in Florida, or if we at least spoke English at home, but we can't have it in a bag and a... Sorry, I just realized it's quite impossible to translate that Norwegian saying. I can't have it in a bag and a [insert other word for "bag" here]

My e-mail is still not working! I nagged my father until he drove me to his office and let me use his computer... No problems there, so is it only my computer? Nooo! I can't have my father driving me to his office each day... Woe on me

*Sigh* I'm going to watch the Sunday movie on the telly now, and try to forget the sadness of my fate. And if my mother comes home in time, I'm going to cut my hair! Yay! Back to the relieveing boy's cut. I can't stand all this thick, half-long hair... Have fun with the lamppost

Toodles!

"If blood is thicker than water, it must also be thicker than a calander or a small clock"
-Esther Rantzen

"It was just like a plane crash- cars everywhere!"
-James Courtney (formula 3 driver)

Currently listening to: Track no 3 of my CD which drove me mad before it even got here. It took it's time getting here. Mind you, who am I to complain. I did, afterall, get it for half of the RRP

Ow ow ow, I'm in pain. Only I can manage to do myself some serious damage and not even realise it.
This, kiddies, is why you shouldn't leave me by myself for any length of time.
Somehow I managed to sprain my arm and not even realise until I reached down to pick up my bag and found myself face down on the floor. Whatever I did it has stopped me from being able to straighten out my arm, so I have had to walk around school the entire day with one arm bent up across my chest looking like half a mummy
My Mother, god bless her, is the cheapest person I know where medicine is concerned. I came off the bus groping out for her, moans of pain rolling off my trembling lips. I begged for her to buy me a sling and her reply was (and I quote)
"Oh sweetheart, no need for any of that. I have some fabric at home which will do just the job"
I know what she meant by that! She did it last time I hurt my arm! She wrapped it in an old musky scarf that she had. It was terrible, I gave up on it in 5 seconds. The fact that my arm kept on slipping out of it rather defeated it's purpose.
It's horrible to be in such pain and all, but I can't stop thinking that I'm going to get to miss PE tommorow It's the only thing that's keeping me going...


~~~~~ TODAY'S RANT ~~~~~
~~ SUBJECT: Citizenship, our Citizenship teacher and fellow classmates ~~
TECHER:
My god! That woman, when will she learn?! Our teacher is totally against disipline in any form. We have some very annoying girls in our class, they talk the whole way through the lesson and she won't say a thing. In fact, one girl just left the class half way through the lesson and our teacher didn't bat an eyelid! What is wrong with her!?
Today after she had stood waiting for them to be quiet for 20 minutes, she then lets two girls take over the class! We haven't done any work in our past 8 lessons.
This woman is full of these spaced out hippy ideas of respect for one another. It's so painfully obvious that she's never taught 15 year olds girls before. She doesn't realise that they would much rather be talking to each other about who pulled who at the club on the weekend, rather than talk about why we should vote.

CLASSMATES:
There are two girls in our class who just won't shut up. They scream and shout out stupid things. It's enough to make you want to throw them all on a fire Also today, one of the girls called Kirsty yelled out somthing about my hair (Ie. "Uh, why won't your hair..?" I missed out the last part of it)
Oooh major insult! I yelled somthing back casually, along the lines of "Uh, why won't your mouth ever shut?"
Her friend then called me a tosser and then said
"I'm gonna go and beat you up in 5, 4, 3, 2.."
"Oh look everyone she can count!" I then said in one of my special sarcastic tones I save for such occasions,
She then called me a dick head and said "I aint gonna take this, I'm sooo outta here"
"Oh great, I won't have to correct your grammar then!"
"Screw you!"
"I'd rather you didn't, I'm trying to preserve my purity. I would suggest you do the same but it's obviously too late for you..."
"Mother fuc.."
"Now now, lets not bring your Oedipus-like tendancies into this conversation.."
"Wot? God, you think youse so clever but really you are so fick (*thick)"
"Thats a tad hypocritical don't you think?"

At this point all those big words got the better of her, so she bunked off to go have a quick fag in the bushes.

CITIZENSHIP:
I'm not bothered about the subject because it doesn't count for anything and we won't get a full qualification for it. Citizenship is
somthing the government introduced this year because they think that todays youth are going to the pits. There is no point in this subject, as all we do is talk about things most of us who can read are aware of.
Our teacher seems adamant that she won't teach us, the people in the class seem adamant not to learn. It's not a lesson, it's a joke!
I can't seriously believe that we are going to benifit from this in any way, shape or form.
Instead of wasting my time I could be concentrating on a subject which means somthing! We need study time as it is, and using up a whole hour on
such a stupid and annoying subject fills me with pure hate.

Ok, ok, I'm finished now..

Exactly! This is the thing that has puzzled me for most of my cinema going life: why do we eat the noisiest food in the cinemas? Sweets in noisy wrappers, pop corn, straws with our coke so they make that loud slurpy noise as you finish it. It's all designed to infuriate and bewilder. It's enough to make your head hurt. And on occasion, ok all the time, gives me a headache.

I'm going to be very vague with the details but after an incident that happened yesterday, my friend convinced me to see my doctor.
I've booked an appointment for this week. So I doubt I'll be online on Thursday and maybe not Friday either. Just in case you wanted to know where I was (if so, you would be the first person who cared)

I'm looking forward to tommorow's bus trip in I have music I enjoy to listen to. I'm so happy I could sing... speaking of which, I still have 'singing in the raid' stuck in my head! I got told off by three different teachers for singing it, my friends leave the room when I start to sing it, people give me funny looks when I belt out "What a glorious feeling I'm happy again" at the top of my voice I blame you entirely for this..

Wow, I've got to see Road to Perdition now If you're ranting about it it's bound to be good. That gives me somthing to do when I get a spare moment. What with all the work we're being given at school I think I'll end up seeing it when it comes out on video

I've got to go now. I have so much homework to do I can barely see over the pile I've got on my desk
Ta,

-Nate

Currently listening to: The theme of Norwegian 'Survivor' thumping out. God, I can't stand this - the Norwegian contestants are such wussies with no sosial grasp. One of them is a coffee-bringer at my mum's job Wait a minute, going to change channel... There. Ally McBeal. Not perfect, but better...

Agh, now it's my turn to moan over my pain Today we had our Polio-vaccine. Have you had it yet? If you have, don't worry, I guarantee flea-bites are more uncomfortable... Well, anyway, since the school wanted it to go pronto, the people on the job of vaccitating all the 10th graders was the school nurse and... the mum of a classmate. Just my luck, I got stuck with the mum Well, actually getting it wasn't so bad, although she was unnecessary clumsy, and when she was done I asked her if I could have a piece of cotton in case it would bleed. "Oh nonsense!" she said "I've done this a lot. Not a single drop of blood will fall, I ensure you." Well, when I went up to the class and met my nervous friend Siri, who still hadn't taken her shot, she went all pale and cried "What has happened to your arm?" Of course. A perfect, white poloshirt ruined by blood. Does it come off easily, I wonder? Somehow you seem like a suitable person to ask that sort of question...

Well, I used it as an excuse to go to the library (eeevil library ) and first pay all the money I owed, then find a movie I could snuggle up watching at home. Of course I decided on A Clockwork Orange I still haven't seen it, and I would really much like to. But curses, for once I learned it wasn't enough just looking the part of an 18-year old, but the librarian had my file mapped out before her "Wait a second, you're not 18..." Well, Tine is turning 18 tomorrow (I've bought her THE coolest gift, I can tell you tomorrow) so I could perhaps bribe her to loan it for me.
Well, to continue the story, I finally decided on loaning "The Three Musketeers" from 1948 Part because I never quite managed to finish the book, part because young Gene Kelly was in it, and part because I was veeery intrigued by the fact it was for 15+. An MGM classic movie from 1948, starring Gene Kelly as D'Artagnan for crying out loud, and I was barely old enough to see it? Interesting
Well, I was quite disappointed to learn it was only because of all the killing And I who had longed for some really steamy scenes with Gene Well, I better settle for all that passionate fake Hollywood kissing and panting...

Wow, you are sooo brave. I'm impressed The way you talk back - I can only dream about that. If I ever dared to say just one line like that, I would waste soo much time and energy on fearing for my life. Gee, I'm such a coward... But an intellectual one, I have 11 votes on that! Well, just for fun we had this voting in class to see who people thought of as the handsomest, the funniest, etc. Well, guess who won the title of the class' Reading Horse (gee, I just learned that sounded absurd when you translated it ) Eleven votes, I was miles ahead of my contestants... Well, an image is everything, right? At least I'm not just a shadow in the classroom, like some... People actually has an image of me!

Well, I got a pile of homework and my tapshoes has arrived! Regrettably, I was told I can't rehearse on the floor here, because either the wood is too soft or it's carpeted. Well, my father is going to find a wooden board, and until that, I might as well pull some Gene Kelly's, dancing out in the rain, or put newspapers all over the floor .... "I'm laughin' at clouds, so dark up above..."

Toodles!

"Very little is needed to make a happy life."
-Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121 AD - 180 AD), Meditations

"No man is happy who does not think himself so."
-Publilius Syrus (~100 BC), Maxims

Currently listening to: my Mum cooking in the other room It's a rare occasion this, as I'm used to making my own dinner it's nice to have someone else do the work for a change..

You have to see A Clockwork Orange! I loved that film so much. I'm not sure what you will make of it though You have to appreciate it for it's artistic value. It's extremely graphic and some parts of it you may find disturbing... sorry, the BBC makes me say that
The only reason my parents allowed me to watch it is because:
a) they are extremely laid back
b) they appreciate it for it's artistic merit
c) they think that I'm old and mature enough to not take films too litterally (Ie. After watching 'The Shining' not to go around hacking people to bits with an axe)
d) they thought it was a good film too

You have to understand that it's not mindless violence either, but seriously considers the ideas of free will and such. It's beautifully made no matter what everyone else says. In my opinion it's a brilliant film, but don't blame me if you don't like it.
The book is one of the best written. Mind you Anthony Burgess deserves to be remembered for his other books also, and not just ACO.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Mr Coe is back, yes he's back, back again! My English teacher is back! He has been off for a while, rumour has it that he suffered a mild stroke or somthing. Poor guy, I missed him more than I've ever missed a teacher before He's like my English version of Prof Petter, except he's about 50-60 and has white spiky loo-brush hair. He looks like a cross between Anthony Hopkins and Malcom McDowel, I've even started to call him Malcolm I told him that he looked and sounded like Hannibal Lecter, he grinned and said 'but of course..' and perfectly copied Hannibals sucky in sound! I'm so happy he's back!

Well isn't that a coincidence I have my Polio vaccine tommorow! But our school, getting in the spirit of things, decided that we should also have our tetanus and diptheria injections at the same time
So you asked me, does blood come out of white polo shirts easily? Well, blood is notoriously hard to get out of white shirts. All you can do is wash them thouroughly and maybe use a bit of special cleaner to try and get them off. Uhm, not that I know anything about removing blood from clothing or anything..

Congratulations on getting 11 votes for class' Reading Horse 2002! We should celebrate! Nothing like a party to celebrate ones being named a horse

Got to go, I do believe that this pile of homework is increasing before my very eyes
Ta,

-Nate