h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Whaaat?! I wrote a reply last night! I posted it! I even looked at it up on the site! Weird...

Currently listening to: Some crime programme on Discovery Channel...

Well, we once had planned to go to Camden Market, but I got sick and had to stay in the whole trip Trypical, isn't it? I remember I was going to a you-know-who concert in Royal Albert Hall, and I used two hours powdering and trying other misc. things to make my nose look less big and red. That was the trip Tine first started calling me Rudolph...

My father accidentally washed my very stylish white jacket with a red sweater Now it's pink. Baby pink. I didn't thikn I could seriously stand before the whole class speaking of the industry in China wearing a baby pink jacket - but today I obvisouly had to give it a go I'm wondering about dying it a dark colour...

And I felt people wasn't taking me serisou today as I wore it. A bit like when I, very seriously, went to the teahcer's lounge asking if someone could make a copy of some statistics in a book. All the teacher's either ignored me, looked at me with disgust or sniggered. It took a veery long time before I discovered I was using a t-sirt that said "If you think I'm a BITCH then wait until you've seen my mother" ...

Ugh, I went to the dentist today I may toleate their sadistic cruelty and terrorizing, but when they talk in melodious falsetto like talking to a child..! I felt like punching her. "Soooo, just sitty-ditty down in that chair, hm? I'll just be a itty-bitty moment..." I just don't get it. I look pretty grown up, don't I?People frequently mistakes me as the oldest sister, the mother in the house or the teacher - so why does silly women, barely much older than me, treat me like a five year old? Could be my pink jacket, but still. And when I'm cringing in that gigantic chair in a room full of teddy-bears, Barbie dolls and plastic dinosaurs, I feel like someone, somewhere, have missed some very important facts... Can't they grant me some human dignity?! I'm not an animal...!

Ho, here comes the men in their clean, white coates with my medication ...

Furthermore, Prof. Petter has disappeared At least that's the word around. He didn't meet up for the first class today, and if he's sick he of all teachers would be practical enough to call up the school and get something arranged. Even the principal was suprised when I informed him. I wonder where he is, his absence sure made my day bleaker, now that I'm "out of the closet" concerning him (well, to myself at least ) Maybe he's locked up in a Turish prison or something. I seem to remember he was going to travel in his dear holiday...

Well, I've got a whole bag of choko-pops , my father is asleep and there's nobody else home... Party down!

Toodles!

P.S.: Very nice idea about the Python show, by the way

"Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some."
-Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)

"There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun."
-Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)

Currently listening to: Chloe and Sarah arguing about our power point presentation Gah! This is why I never post on the school computers, too much noise!

A pink jacket? I'd rather go without instead of wear that colour , I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a toothpick than wear it! You are so brave *sniff*

I'm currently in Citizenship but our teacher is Russian and her grasp of the English language is somewhat dubious For example last lesson:

Teacher: Hello Girls, have you decided what you are going to do for your main charitable work?
Me: Yes. We intend to go to the park and issue squirrels with tiny parachutes in case they fall out the trees
Teacher: Yes, that is a very good idea *walks off*

*sigh* I'd better go, we need to do some work before the end of the lesson.
Ta,

-Nate

(Ps. My Monty Python idea got a thumbs up from my friends

Currenlty listening to: The cat moaning by the door...

Hmph! I've just recieved the "Making of Chitty DVD". Two solid hours of Michael Ball in reeaally tight pants, and of course the elements are against me: What use are a DVD when you don't have a player? We were gonna borrow one from a coworker of my mum's, but of course he is in France for the next couple of days. I could always watch it on the computer, but my mother refuses to watch it like that.

So all I can do now is watch the DVD cover and look really blue Ai, ai, ai...

Oh, and they've finished cutting the short movie we were making, but since no one had stayed with the plans, manuscript and storyboard our teacher had loved, I now have to sit in front of the TV, writing down all the dialogue and make it look like the manuscript we actually had got accepted. Is turned out rather nice though I'm proud of myself, though nothing turned out quite like I wanted...

Oh, and Prof. Petter isn't locked up in a Turkish prison He only got a really nasty cold or something. Maybe I should bring him chicken soup

I should go now, the short movie awaits...

Toodles!

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

Currently listening to: My sniffing and snorting It's an epidemic, it started off with my English teacher, then I got it, then Vicky got it, then Chloe got it and now It's come back to me again. Woe is me..

It's been another boring day at the same boring school Gosh, I wish somthing interesting would happen. Like Anthony Hopkins becoming my new Drama teacher, or Bill Bryson becoming my English teacher or having an Art lesson with Salvidor Dali. I was thinking about that today, you know, having a famous person teach you certain subjects. I actually came up with a list I was VERY bored. Who would you have?

*sniffle* I need an early night, sorry this post is so short. I feel really quite ill..
Ta,

-Nate

Currently listening to: Myself humming Gershwin showtunes. "Just listen to my heart go pitterpat, he got me from the start, I fell like that..."

Hm, celebreties teaching - that would be a little schoolday fantazy! Let me see ... Gene Kelly as PE teacher - I would jog anywhere a man with an ass like that ordered me... And of course Michael Ball as a music teacher, as long as I could get private lessons, of course ... Conradi as a Norwegian teacher - I'm not sure if he's good at Norwegian, but he was the only Norwegian guy I could think of Ionesco as Drama teacher, if I had drama at school. And... There must be some hunky French guys out there somewhere, but I can't remember anyone at the moment

I'm all too tired to make sense anymore. Thank God I'm finished with the manuscript, the storyboard and the movie! Now I'm going to watch the drama serie C.S.I. - and then I'm going to sulk some more because I have to wait until tomorrow to see my DVD

Toodles!

"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."
-Dorothy Parker

"I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things."
-Dorothy Parker

Currently listening to: My relentless sneezing and coughing Ugh, I haven't felt so bad in a long time. Like I always do when I'm ill, I spent the day tucked up in my parents bed with several books and a glass of to keep me company. I managed to read a whole Bill Bryson book (which is quite an accomplishment when you're not quite all there) One of my favourites which cheered me up no end

I was thinking about famous teachers again and I realised who I'd love to have for French. Jean Reno! Oh and when you say Ionesco, do you mean Eugene Ionesco?

Ahh, Jean Reno The funniest film I've ever seen had him in it, 'Les Visiteurs.' It's a French film with subtitles but I prefered this one to the English version 'The Visitors' which was completely different and wasn't nearly as funny. Aaanyway, that's my rant for the day

At last! I have time to get my proper site up and running, you may find it hard to believe but all my previous sites have been temporary. I am now going to make my own site using HTML (For authenticity ) I'll let you know when I get it finished.

I'd better go. Being ill really takes it outta you
Ta,

-Nate

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"If any of you even touch this, I'm going to have you shot."
- Prof. Petter.
Well, he've hung a framed picture of Manchester United in our classroom, and he swears no one is going to come out alive if they "do anything" with it Forgive him, he doesn't know what he's doing

Currently listening to: My mum having a discussion in the kitchen with Trond, a friend of hers.

Oh, what a day this've been First it was the premier of the short movie I'd made, along with a dozen others my classmates had made. The atmosphere was light and pleasant, and the audience we're easily amused... Until they saw our movie, of course The whole auditorium fell silent, and no one even laughed where they were supposed to. Afterwards, when they were asked to review the movie, they coldn't get a single comment, except for the friends who probably did it out of pity... But no, that didn't make me feel blue I'm actually proud of that movie, I wrote the script single-handedly (except, of course, when the actors suddenly started improvising) and it's my first movie. I'm sure not even Stephen King or Quentin Tarantino made it big with the first

Afterwards I had to present my project on refugees and the FN. I appearantly did well, Prof. Petter was pleased... Oh, and then we saw a documentary school has made me watch about three times - about puberty And we are appearantly meant to have a S-E-X talk with the teachers soon... I had it last year at school the year before that, and on my previous school... I'm starting to get the picture, allright? I'm even starting to tire on the subject...

HTML? Ah, you brave girl I can't do without my easy-programmes or GuideML yet... Well, good luck

Well, I'm going to watch my DVD finally - I twisted my brother's arm until he borrowed me his comrade's Play Station 2 His friend is on a short holiday in France, so he'll hopefully be totally ignorant of his friends borrowing out his Play Stations to siblings on the other side of the country

Toodles!

P.S.: A yes, I meant Eugene - I always forget that name...

There's folks 'ud stand on their heads and then say the fault was i' their boots.
George Eliot (1819 - 1880)

Currently listening to: My sobs and wails. Now is my chance to proove that I am more spoilt than you. I want some boots, and I want them NOW

I was searching the net for fashion pictures etc for a project I'm doing. I was looking at footwear and I came across the PERFECT pair of boots! It was love at first sight, I nearly fell off my chair But it looks like it is never to be.. they cost a staggering $160.00! Even without converting that to pounds it's obvious that it's still a lot of money http://www.shoespot.com/item_detail.asp?pid=798

** Aww, don't worry. I'm sure that in years to come people will rediscover the works of Tilly and co, and then will appreciate what a work of genius it really is! But if you ever become famous, I suggest you destory it in case it ruin your reputation

*ahem* Prof Petter is clearly a sexy, intelligent, funny, witty young man.. but his taste in football teams is pitiful. Manchester United are, how can I put this delicately, rubbish. If he's going to support an England football team (which I advise he shouldn't do) he should pick Arsenal (for obvious and sinister reasons )

Hmm, would someone explain why my hair is in pigtails I am not the sort of person to wear my hair up this way. It's too.. girly

Oh lord! My Mothers taking me shopping tommorow Like I mentioned earlier, I am in desperate need for clothes and the like. I must be VERY desperate to go shopping with my Mum. It's not like she's got bad taste in clothes, in fact she's more stylish than I am, it's just that we spend hours upon hours trailing around shopping centers and shops. By the end of it I'm on the verge of tears. I just can't shop with her, I'm the least patient person I know.

Oh I love having Sex Ed! Asking awkward questions, watching the teachers squirm as they demonstrate how to put on a condom using a bannana (Yes, that actually happened and boy was it funny!) and having to watch very graphic videos about menstural flow and puberty

I'd better go, I'm mega tired. I needeth my sleepeth..
Ta,

-Nate

Currently listening to: Some bizarre comdey progamme on the TV

Heeey, nice boots Certainly attitude making boots for a Babe In Total Control of Herself (sorry, it's just very 'in' to say that line )

I don't think I've ever been so exhausted in my life! I don't even have a reason, I was just walking home from school, as I do every day, and I thought it was impossible to even lift my hand with the keys to open the front door. This was my first day this week where I would get a couple of hours for myself home alone, but it took a long time before I even managed to move more comfortably in the sofa...

Yay! The National Opera is having a costume sale, and my mum's taking me there on Sunday! It's a haven for everyone who's after a bizarre bargain... A ballroom dress from Carmen, anyone? Or feathered tights from The Magic Flute? I'm going to have so much fun ...

Hm, all the sex educationing my sister got at school was with a blushing teacher, looking down and pointing towards the blackboard, "Can anyone tell me what I've taped up on the blackboard?" - "Er... A condom, is it?" - "Yes. You all understand? Good, then we can move on with your math assignements..." While I have to write an essay about it, connect the dots to make a condom appear, lead the little aroused cartoon boy through the labyrinth to the prevention products...

Well, I have to get some sleep now - I'm knackered, and I've been that way all week

Toodles!

"Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens."
-Nick Diamos

"Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity."
-Nick Diamos

Currently listening to: Some annoying advert on the TV

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've never been so busy in my entire life. When I'm not delivering papers and leaflets, I'm doing course work, homework and shopping It's all so tiring. I feel like I haven't slept in weeks (Well, I haven't really..)

"Babe In Total Control of Herself"
Hey.. you're calling me a bitch?

I managed to get to WHSmiths this weekend. I spent my entire time lurking about the Horror section hoping for a glimpse of that very good looking clerk. When he didn't put in an appearance I turned my attentions back to the one thing that can comfort me: books and flirting with the geeks that lurk by the Sci-fi section

Got to go,
Ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: Some annoying advert on the TV about glasses...

Well, I guess we've both been lurking after guys in vain Today I went to the Kilkenny's Pub, hoping to see that charming Irish-looking guy, but he didn't grant me my wish, so I stuffed myself with fish'n'chips instead

Oh, and I went to the National Opera's costume sail I've never had so much fun browsing through clothes in my life! My mother fell for some velvet suits from Macbeth, but since the prize could have bought you a small German car we only tried them on for laughs... Oh, and I found a kind of aristocratic suit from a play about the French revolution, but the prize wasn't exactly generous, either... Eventually I left with a really charming black, kinda Dickensian, jacket. It's scribbled in ink inside it's from an opera called "Martha" (although that could be a nickname, I saw a lot of them were used), which character it is, and the actor it was suitored for. The waist is a bit taller, so it could have belonged to a tall, possibly handsome, young man I've got his full name, but it's not like I'm going to stalk him or anything... I fully intend to wear the jacket at school tomorrow, if it isn't too cold (after all, it's button-less)

Well, Tine is coming home from her friends' party soon, and I got hide the clues of that I borrowed her beloved CDs

Toodles!

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
-Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon."
-Susan Ertz

Currently listening to: me whistling "I'm singing in the rain.." So far this week, we have had the worst weather! It's been raining for three days solid, or so it seems. I don't really mind the rain, I have to stop myself from turning back into a three year old and not go jumping in the puddles

I swear, my biological clock has gone into turmoil! I usually wake when it starts to get light. Anyway, on Saturday I woke up to find my room in near complete darkness, I thought 'Oh s**t, it's WAY too early to be getting up' I guessed that It was about 4 in the morning but I wasn't very tired so I looked at my clock. IT WAS 11.00 PM!

I finally got around to colouring my hair. So now it's a darkish brown, I'm not very happy with it though. It didn't make much difference and nobody noticed it Ahh well, I do have some bleach, maybe I should go dye it platinum blonde and stick it up in spikes. That will surely get me noticed

Gee, I want a jacket like that. I've been bothering my Mum to get me one but she just rolls her eyes and tells me not to be so silly There is nowhere I could find a costume sale, the only way I get the chance to browse among such outfits is to investigate the very large walk in cupboard in my Drama room

Which reminds me, in our RE lesson some of the girls in my class got the idea to go and hide in a cupboard (This is their idea of advanced wit) So nearly my entire class went and hid in this walk in cupboard. You've got to give them credit, they did manage to get 21 people in there. When our teacher came in, she's very old and very mean, she went mental There was just me and my friend sitting at our desks talking, everyone else was hiding. She went and got one of the PE teachers who came opened the door and yelled at them They were all told off and given order marks (you get three you get a detention) and you should have seen them being marched out of it like criminals. I've never laughed so hard in my entire life..

My friend has given me instructions to go and bother someone she met via the net. Apparantly he's the male version of someone we hate very much, so I feel compelled to give him a verbal ear bashing
Ta,

-Nate

Currently listening to: The kitten playing with a toothpick and my own moans of pain...

Well, I would chose rain every day... Do you know what's happened? The snow has come! Yes, snow. It had been snowing for two days straight, finally it has stoppd now. Give me sunshine, give me rain, give me hail, give me fog... Anything but snow! It depresses me and makes my eyes hurt...

Well, it got too cold for my jacket allright. Only it was in my bedroom - I've been home for two days becaus of a high fever But that is not all - today, when I finally thought my temperature was nearly normal and I felt like I was up for the world again, not even half an hour after I had arrived (school hadn't even started yet) I got the worst stomach cramps in my life! They were just so piercing I had to bite my thumb as not to scream... I had felt nearly perfect an hour before, and suddenly it felt like I was going into labour or something. Eventually the principal had to drive me home - very embarassing I've had a nap and some painkillers and feel better now, only aches a bit when I'm standing straight...

I really wasn't well enough to go out yesterday, but my mother dragged me out to the mall to do some shopping... We bought my first pair of tapping-shoes Well actually, we bought a good pair of shoes (and it wasn't one of those sissy, girls' shoes from the 50s with ribbons on, but really nice men's shoes, really masculine, the kind I would faint for if I saw it on a handsome man ) and then we deliverd them to the shoemaker to attach metal-plates underneath. I'm picking them up today

And now woe is truly upon me: Roosta's escaped He must have knocked the bottom out of one of his cage-attachments. And now we were in the middle of cleaning the house and everything, and we've used the room as a temporary storing place - everything's a chaos. I've stuffed the cracks under the door so he won't get out of the rooma and into the kitten's claws... The reason I know the kitten hasn't gotten him is because she always displays her catch to us before she eats is There's not much I can do now - I've put out food and water for him (counted all the seeds to see if he eats) and I'm now going to make a trap for him... I have a feeling he's somehow inside to sofa in the room (at least I'm pretty sure that was where he was this morning) but I can't take it apart myself (And what if I crush him trying! ) So I pray he will either crawl out and expose himself, or fall into the trap without any drama...

Ah, feel like I'm familiar with the humour of those girls in your class. I remember once my class decided that when the teacher came in, all would stare at his nose, so he'll feel uncomfortable and grow paranoid. Well, the teacher's never been so proud in his life; For once, everybody had their attention fixed to him!

Well, I'm going to look for a bucket, a serie of encyclopedias a towel, and some peanut butter - hope the trap will work

Toodles!

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence."
-Robert Frost

"All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education."
-Sir Walter Scott

Currently listening to: "Hey Nat, you seen Red Dragon yet? I have and it's s**t.." This girl keeps on talking, will she ever shut the hell up?! That little son of a bitch, god I hate her! I'm in my ICT lesson, our teacher isn't in so I thought I'd just come and talk to you. It's either that or get expelled for strangling Lauren

Oh lord, not an escaped Hamster! I'm serious, gee, I remember when my hamster escaped. It was the most hectic ordeal I'd ever experienced where a hamsters concerned. We were leaving the house and I only just noticed. We were so late already, and now I had to search for my mini houdini It was so stressful, my parents were shouting at me and screaming. All that fuss over a little rodent

Snow?! How unfair is that, we only get rain! That's it, I've decided. As soon as I've finished school I'm moving to Norway Your actors are good looking, people are friendly, interesting things happen there, and you have snow! What is there to keep me in dull England, except a few nice boys and a couple of friends. But that's not enough to make me stay...

Oh dear, I hope you feel better soon I've been ill but it wasn't too bad, sounds like you've got what I had but MUCH worse. Drink lots of tea, I know I always say that but it always works

Erk! End of lesson, got to go! Bye!
Ta,

-Nate

Currently listening to: My father making dinner (Yay! Spaghetti! ) And Tine and Daniel... Well, they're sitting on the couch, it starts with S and ends with ING and has a h2g2 smiley dedicated to it

Gah, I could just strangle persons like that I hate people that dedicates their life to wind people up. Or in some cases, where they actually are so bloody ignorant. Like when we had cooking at school, and my work group (a bunch of bitches) kept telling me how sick and weird I was to drink milk with my food... What? Milk, how idiotic is that? Millions drink it every day, but they were acting like I was insisting on drinking the slime I'd found under rocks...

Don't worry, over here they say that Red Dragon is fabulous However much you chose to believe our crooked journalists...

And now, a story of reconciling (or whatever):
Well, since I first had the extra time today, I started to move everything out of the office/hamster room. Then I sat on the floor and waited... I heard small scratching noises coming from the sofa, and then I see a little furry head popping out. He quickly retreats as I shoot forward and the next thing I know, I'm clutching my bleeding hand seconds after the angry little hamster has finally let go. I can't believe he bit me! I was more surprised than angry or frustrated. Roosta who have never bitten anyone in his life. My little fluffy hamster has turned into a little "take crap from no one" mister. I'm so proud ... Well, anyway, after I had plastered my bleeding finger (which was a let-down, even though it had bled so much it looked like a cheap horror movie, the wound itself was almost invisible ) I managed to drag away the sofa just a little bit, and I was baffld to see he had made a little hamster paradise behind it! He had pulled about all the polstering from the sofa and made a castle of a nest, and I realised where all the contents of the seed box had disappeared to. Well, eventually I captured him in a top that was lying there and returned him to his cage. He fell asleep immediately. Aw He had a long night, he must have worked his little furry butt off...

Yes, snow. Yucky, cold, depressing, shining (did I mention cold?) snow Hate it, hate it, hate it!!
"people are friendly"
Er, what? Well, I am friendly. Norwegians generally are b******s It's too cold, too dark, too wet. No wonder people are miserable. I've always thought there's something slightly pathetic about Norway. We don't have any image. Sure, Sweden have sexy girls and meatballs, Denmark have good beer and meat, but what have Norway got? Moose, ugly troll-souvenirs and our dorky national costume, the bunad... And the language is clumsy and inconclusive. Oooh, but England Nice language, an actual history, polite people (and don't start, a Norwegian would never say, "Pardon" if you bumped into him on the street. He would probably give you the finger and a "F**k off!" ) and good authors (You try naming three Norwegian genius writers... And if you say Ibsen I'll rip your head off )

I just got an image of us two running just past each other on an airport, minutes before we "switch countries"

Oh, you are so lucky you can log on the internet in school. At mine, we all got our own log-in IDs and passwords and the teacher can look up each site we visited on school. There's always a lot of "Oops, I just clicked on the wrong link as I was looking for [insert school project material here]"

Well, I'm feeling much better now, and dinner's soon!
Toodles!

The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.
-Harlan Ellison

Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.
-Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856)

Currently listening to: An advert for Red Dragon on the TV I don't care if it's a terrible film, I have to see it! I've made arrangments to see it with a friend but nothing's been confirmed just yet, I'm starting to get REALLY impatient now. If I don't see Anthony Hopkins trussed up in his straight jacket soon, I may bloody well explode (What can I say, I'm a sucker for bondage )

Trust me, if you were faced with rain day after day after day, you'd soon be longing for snow too I don't know what it is, but I love the cold, I can't stand summer but I thrive in the winter.

You seem to be under 'the spell' People fall in love with England. They believe the British to be polite, charming, witty, eloquent and sexy. Yes I know *I* live up to all your expectations, but in real life most Brits are completely different. So, I'm all for going to Norway. Feel free to take my place (trust me, nobody would notice, or care for that matter, that I'd been replaced) and I'll take yours. The only thing is, you have to look at Mr Naughten while I get to oggle at Prof Petter

Funny that, but when you talk about Norway not having an image, I always think of parrots Can you please tell me why I think of parrots in connection with the dear country that you call home?

~~~~RANT OF THE DAY~~~~
TODAY'S TOPIC: LACK OF ADOLESENT INTELLIGENT MALES

I was thinking today (I know! I'm always doing it, it's amazing) and I came to the conclusion that all the boys I'm likely to meet are bound to be idiots. You see, going to an all girls school, I come into very little contact with guys. And the ones I do meet quite regulary are ones who I meet via friends
I have met nearly all of my friends boyfriends and friends and they are all, with only one exception (and I think he's gay), obnoxious, disgusting, stupid, common and annoying I don't know how they can bring themselves to date them or even talk to them!
I don't for one second, wish to insult any of my male friends when I say this but, all the guys I know are complete idiots. They wouldn't know a good book if I threw one at their heads!
They are sheep, like much of todays society and will never amount to anything. So far in my short (yet seemingly very long) life I have spoken one truly original young man and hoo boy am I glad I did. He is the nicest and most intelligent person I have met of about my own age. Alas, the people around here seem to be suffering from chronic ignorance and will never even come close to him
I wish that I had at least one intelligent male friend. I tend to get on better with boys and an intelligent one would be heaven on earth!

Woah! Roosta has turned into a Hannibal hamster! Whatever you do don't let him anywhere near the kitchen. All those knives could push that once cute and cuddly little ball of fluff over the edge! You don't want to re-enact that shower scence from Psycho do you now? Even if instead of Norman Bates you have golden hamster hacking you to bits Yes, my sense of humour is a tad morbid and black.. I'm glad you noticed

"Gah, I could just strangle persons like that"
Oh please do! Come and strangle Lauren! Please please please! I'll go and strangle some of yours, I'll make them drink milk too! Ahh that would be fun Make them eat food and drink milk together at once! Haha, any exscuse to bother those bitches! There are people like that in every school in every country, maybe we should have them all shipped off to a remote island, surrounded by shark infested waters and millions of miles of water And then we can send Tony Blai, all of the Big Brother contestants past and present, President Bush and all those people who really annoyed us. Mwaha!

Gee, I'm starting to sound a tad crazy aren't I? I'd better go before the men in white coats come. I need to do my Biology homework anyway
Ta,

-Nate

Currently listening to: Myself humming the commercial jingle to Rent-A-Cooler Gah, it won't leave me!! "Rent-A-Cooler, rent, Rent-A-Cooler..."

"Can you please tell me why I think of parrots in connection with the dear country that you call home?"
Ha ha! No other Norwegian would get that, but I do! I do! Yes... "The Norwegian blue one, yes, anything wrong with it?" - "Yes. It's dead. That's what's wrong with it!" Ring a bell?

Well; What can I say about that rant? How about this: I couldn't agree more At a unisex school it's like ancient times. All the guys tries to impress the bigbreasted bimbos by acting like Neanderthals. No wonder I rather oogle at the teachers...

Oh, today we analyzed the best prevention ever: We saw a documentary about childbirths Well, first an hour with studies of the alien look-alike foetus ("Here you see the baby swallong amniotic fluid,which is consists of the mother's urine...") then a videotaping of a real birth. Let just say they did a lot of close-ups and zoom-ins of things that really shouldn't be seen

Oh, all the yucky aside and as we're still speaking of hormones: You know when you have just a little bit too small sweater so when you put your arms over your heads you involunteraly exposes your tummy and possibly your underwear? Well, let's just say that I know now Prof. Petter has a really fiiine stomach and he wears white Apollo cotton boxer shorts... Gah, I feel pathetic. And I don't have anyone to tell it to, neither. All the gossip magazines wouldn't buy the story

Hee hee, that whole little Roosta/murdered story made me giggle Thank you, I needed that.

Oh, and I am really proud of myself at the moment, because tomorrow I'm going to prove that geekiness pays off. There's a big book fair tomorrow, and only the most-reading students get to skip school because of it Let me just say that there are three attending from my class, and one of them happens to know what underwear her teacher uses

Well, fair or no fair, I have a big geography test tomorrow and should really be studying

Toodles!

"Life is too important to take seriously."
-Corky Siegel

"The purpose of life is to fight maturity."
-Dick Werthimer

Currently listening to: My Dad in the other room relating his day to my Mum, very interesting I'm sure

"that whole little Roosta/murdered story made me giggle"
Hey, well I'm glad I can make someone laugh, people just don't find me funny any more. I guess my jokes are either getting old or too high brow I prefer to think of them being the latter myself..

Yes yes yes! I have been looking forward to tonight for weeks! Brace yourself Tilly M'dear but tonight sees the return of England's greatest sartirical topical news quiz comedy show.. Yes! 'Have I Got News For You' is back and better than ever (or so I hope)

To be honest I was dreading it's return Ever since Angus Deayton slept with that prostitute and never paid her (I know, that's the last thing you'd want to forget to do with a prostitute) rumour has been circulating that he won't be asked back for the next series. I was quite upset actually, but it looks like Angus is still with us and boy am I glad

Of course! Monty Python! It's so simple, I had completely forgotten! I seem to have problems where Monty Python parralels are concerned. Such as my complete ingnorance matching up the Monty Python Micheal Palin and the globe trotting one

Lordy lordy, I've seen a video of a woman giving birth! And boy was I grossed out This, the girl who sat through 'The Silence' only speaking when she wanted to make some comment about Hannibal's ass, found the most natural thing on earth gross!

The idea of having to go through all that so you can bring another creature into this world to suffer as we suffer.. doesn't it all seem a bit weird? And the pain! That woman was screaming her head off, gee, how can anyone do that? No wonder my Mum hates me so much..

I'd better go, I'm trying to convince my Dad to by me a CD over the internet. He's a bit paraniod that they'll steal our credit card details and charge us for a trip to Barbados or somthing
Ta,

-Nate

Currently listening to: Me doing a little tap-dance routine under the desk

Yes, finally, I've started with tapdancing classes It's an intensive course, only being three days, and today was first class. I signed up for the 'beginners' course, but out of 10 I was the only one who had never danced before... How unfair is that? The experts thought it would be fun to do the easiest courses and make me look like a cow on LSD... Well, it was quite fun, and it felt really professional going through the entrance of the Oslo Institute of Dancing. The teacher showed us a real Astaire-esque routine she promise we will learn by Sunday. Problem is, I'm not Astaire I've learned some really neat steps though. The shuffle, the shim-sham and the unfurl. Of course my shoes ruined it all - my mum didn't want to ruin herself on real tapshoes before I grew to love it, so I got the forementioned shoes with metal plates fittings. Of course the nails the shoemaker had used was too big, so they kept scraping the floor and making me trip. The teacher felt so sorry for me she said she would let me lend some of her old shoes, although that is against the policy

Ugh, I'm going to feel that tomorrow. It is, after all, only a dance technique based on slamming your feet against the ground Can't wait for tomorrow's class

Ah, congratulations with the return of 'Have I Got News for You'. I've just watched the Norwegian version - that's what I love about Fridays I didn't care a thing about politics before I started watching it... And none of the three hosts have been in any scandals either. Well, of course the female part, Anne-Kath. Hærland had been in a relationship with Ari Behn, the now husband of our Royal Princess, Märtha Louise (Their best man was Conradi, right?) And then Hærland went out to the newspapers and told she had slept with him, later she corrected herself and said she might only have seen him naked, and yet later corrected and said she had only seen his T-shirt slide a bit up Still she's one of my favourite comediennes...

Yes. Imagine such a natural thing like a birth would be so gross. I mean, we saw things tearing apart, blood running. I imagine it's quite true, "It's like squeesing a melon through a lemon..." I pray I have blocked out all the gross images by the time my biological clock decides to go haywire (if it ever does, that is) What ran through my head as I was watching that documentary was "Imagine I've gone through that. Imagine I started out like that!" I'm still in denial ...

I'm going to have some sleep and prepare to wish my legs amputated in the morning

Toodles!

"Never get angry. Never make a threat. Reason with people."
-Mario Puzo, 'The Godfather'

"I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry."
-Maxine Waters, in Brian Lanker, I Dream a World, 1989

Currently listening to: my dark mutterings at my Father What is his problem?! He came in, smiled at me, ruffled my head and switched off the computer! He then goes "Oops, sorry Nat." takes out a floppy disk and walks off!!! That was the second posting I had tried to post up to you and he comes and switches off the computer for no reason on God's good earth! Ok Nate, calm calm calm..

I never understood why people will happily take dancing lessons. The whole concept is foreign to me Why on earth are you willing to put yourself through such suffering? Why do you actually enjoy it? I'm reeeaally confused. The whole idea of dancing for pleasure is beyond me Ha, and you think I'm weird...

Ahhh yesterday was the first day of half term At the beginning of each half term I spend the day lying down on the sofa watching a film marathon! I wouldn't stop it for anything... I love it so much, it gives me a chance to watch all those films I taped or bought and never watched.
Normally I have a theme, last year I watched every single Jaws film ever made My gosh, I had never laughed so much in my entire life! Gee, I was laughing so much my Mum thought I was watching Monty Python
This year I tried to have a Stanley Kubrick film fest, but my Dad advised me to watch a few funny films too. He was worried all that depressing material would make me throw myself off the roof
In the end I watched: 'Shaft' (the original version), 'A Clockwork Orange', 'Monty Pythons The Meaning Of Life', 'The Shining', 'Chasing Amy' and 'Schindlers List'

I'm finally going to see Red Dragon tommorow I'm also going to buy some red hair dye, a few CD's and a couple of books. Any suggestions on the books front?

Two of our 'Have I Got News for You' presenters have reputations. Angus Deayton for sleeping with a prostitute and not paying her, Ian Hyslop () for managing to get his magazine 'Private-Eye' involved in as many law suits as he can.
http://www.ukgameshows.com/atoz/programmes/h/hignfy/index.htm
I don't agree at all with their comments about Ian, he isn't pretentious and they only make comments about him going to Oxford because they couldn't do anything worth while with their lives and instead made some stupid little game show website which is, if you ask me, 100 times more pretentious that Ian and Angus

I'd better go, my head is starting to hurt with all these films getting muddled up in there
Ta,

-Nate