h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's not the Thingites we're
complaining about, Batty. Every
last one of them is a splendid
person.

Their ideas are another story.


I don't drink elderberry wine, by the
way, because the ladies in "Arsenic
and Old Lace" used to put arsenic
into it. I don't want to get poisoned.

One of my favorite movies, Paul.. but I wouldn't be willing to give up elderberry wine because of it.

I hope my cable doesn't go out again tomorrow.. I'll miss the mudwresting again... BTW was that 12n UK??? that's like midnight...

I meant 6am... midnight would have been more acceptable..

At least the Thingites haven't renamed
noon and midnight yet.

You're lucky you're cute, Paul...

Why the , Batty?

I was just making an observation.

You are quite cute yourself, Batty.

Batty

What does the job Thingite Medical Examiner entail?



Bassman

hiya!

i decided not to go to bed

Around here we call one of the days 'Humpday'...can you guess which? ...*whispers...*is begins with a 'W'.

I wasn't here because of car trouble and someone else's car trouble then someone backed over a ladder and spilled a bucket of paint and then... it...But, if we don't do SOMEthing in the mud VERY soon...I'm taken' off this horrible outfit. Not to mention the guy I have dressed the same way, my 'wringer', who is all set to kick Bassman's......I didn't just say that. And even if I did, it was an accident.

I'll just be over here with the complimentary drinks

Steps up - fresh from a light work-out, muscles glistening with sweat in the sunlight.

I decided to wear my Black Watch Tartan kilt with all the trimmings today. If you want to know which clan I belong to, take a peek - if you think it's a half-pounder, I must be a McDonald

Declines the complimentary drinks - I want to keep a clear head, just mineral water for me thanks.

Starts a few stretching excercises.... you don't think I'm taking this too seriously do you?



Bassman

Naaaaaw. I'b taggen' id ser-*hic*-sruuieasyaliy too!*hic*...sides, I'm a 5th degree bourbon. ...*wiggles her rain slickered fanny at Bassman...* I'm gonna' kick your ing a**.
Then, I'm gonna' make you say, "Thank you!!!"

It has only sprinkled three days all the month of July ...now, heavy thunder storms are upon us!...The TV has alerts for Richland County. That's just across the road. I can see it. And the rains are stopping right in the middle of the road.
Right in front of my cabin. One bush on the North of the garage is dead from lack of water, but the one on the South side, 32' away...is nice and green.I think I'm in the Twilight Zone! Wheeeee-Doggies!
Just know...that if/ WHEN the power goes out...I'm STILL gonna' stay right here...drink vast quanities of alcohol... exercising my bicepts and getting ready to clamp Basser's between two of the strongest things he's EVER likely to run acrosst...so. to. speak. ...those 'things' being my right thigh...and my left thigh! ....so, go ahead and get at eachother as you will...Bassmann you just keep on pre-*hic*
'scuzzze me -*hic* -...get ready Hon...I'm gonna' getcha'!

Bassman jumps athletically into mud-pit landing nimbly without the hint of a teeter. Picks up handfulls of mud and starts to smear his body with the gloopy substance.



Bassman

Decides to pour some water over himself, as he's been stood here for an hour in the sun and has started to set - waiting for Pandora to enter the ring.

I think she know's she has well and truely met her match. All that bravado about kicking my Butt has come to nothing....



Bassman

...*unsnaps her yellow rain slicker...tossing it to one side...the suspenders for the coveralls lie against the outter edges of Pandora's heaving breasts...she does a cartwheel into the pit stopping in front of Bassman... her hand extended for a friendly handshake before the *battle* begins...as the nearly - re-dried Bassman gentally takes Pandora's hand he can't help but have a huge, rather silly grin across his face...whilst all the while trying to keep that McDonald brow raised to his advisary...he looks into his friend's face saying, "Babe, you know 'this' is stricktly for hono(u)r...otherwise I'd never lay a hand one you..., well, not in harm, least ways..."? Before Bassman waxes peotic Pandora pulls Herself by Bassman's hand... thru the mud, up to his chest...breast to breast they stand...*"Of course Luv, all's far in love an war."...*yanks on Bassman's hand, runs up his chest using his own arm for leverage...flips upside down...lands on her feet...still smiling at Bassman...tosses her right leg out and lands one across Bassman's shoulder's...knocking him into the mud and stratteling his side...*Are we having FUN yet?!

*dashes in for a quick peek before heading off to a little IRL wrestling*

...*still holding onto Bassman's hand, Pandora tries to use her body weight to force Bassman's hand up behind his back...she slips in the mud...there's no footing!...Bassman is stronger than she thought......*hic*...throws herself against Bassman's shoulder pinning him down into the mud with a rather funny *squishing* sound...force against force...Pandora is deteminded to pin Basser's hand be-hind-his
f-l-i-p-p-i-n-g ba-a-a-a-ack. rrrrrrrRRRRrrrGRrrrrrrrrrrrr
Rrrrrrrrr-rrrr-grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-aaaaaa---rrrrrrrrr

Bassman reaches slowly with his free hand up the inside of Pandora's exposed left thigh, higher and higher his hand slides in the sticky goo covering the flesh until.......





He nips the tiniest bit of tender flesh between his nails, as hard as he can Pandora lets out a painful yelp and leaps off Bassman involuntarily, letting go of his wrist, falling backward into the mud.

Bassman satisfied with the manouvre he has just pulled off, rises to his feet, mud dripping from under his kilt....



Bassman

That is a pukka move I learned in an Aikido lesson. I didn't think I'd done it particularly well, the guy I was training with only leapt about 2 feet in the air - he wouldn't let me go for a second attempt!!





Bassman