h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

steped foot or tentical or whatever on the shore. The pickle driver/mechanic looked up to the giant sea serpent/wench and said "Look I don't know nothing about being anyone's weekend play toy so if you want to find your daughter I would sugest you go up and ring the bell like anyone else" in a rush as he started to take off in his delivery truck. This genrealy upset the sea serpent/wench so she...


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( tried to make due with the last few posts...good luck)

...went back out to sea to watch the tuna fish
wars, bringing mayonnaise just in case the losers
got shredded.

The truck driver, feeling guilty about eating
Count Rudolph's cheese, drove back to the castle
and gave the Count an extra pickle as compensation.

When the truck driver got back to the castle, however,
he saw, in the fifth-floor garret window, pounding furiously
on the bars,.....

Betty who was yelling about the smell of pickles. Relising that he proably wouldn't be welcomed bringing yet more pickles to the place he quickly leaves again. Betty getting a hold of herself goes...


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...an angry black crow.

"Let me back in", croaked the crow, "or I'll steal your mothers magic salami, too".

A muffled curse is heard from inside, followed by...

Oh man! Looks like I have a penchant for simulposts.

Again, the next poster should just use whichever post they like best. (Or combine the two, like last time

Looks like this thread has attacted some new participants. Welcome!
And a big to Red Dog.

Betty changeing back from being an angry black crow. She goes down stairs and sneeks into the kitchen for a snack. She finds (god help me) the Count's mother's magic salami and...


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...decides to disapear to her bedchambers to make creative use of it. However she doesn't count on the Count's invisible web cam set up in her chambers. So those who visit his site can pay $5 to see...

the salami transform into a Jehova's Witness.
"Can I interest you in a.....

...new set of bedlinen? These look a little old. And just look at those...

...tables. Tell me, is all the furnature in the place made out of pickle containers? Would you like me to...


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...give you a blow job this hoover has never been the same since I took it to be repaired at.....

[Yar] [breaking the Fourth Wall and the thread of the story] Okay, that's it, I'm outta here. C'mon, everyone, let's go.

[He, Sigma, Ultros, Chupon, Dynamo, and CATS disappear.]

...Red Dog's repain shop. And to think that all the ladies recommended him highly to me! What non-sense, even though he kept talking about...

...his lost pickle. "One in a million", he said, "worth a fortune." That's when he said "oops", turned me into a salami, and...

bowed many times.
"Salami Sahib" was the last thing I remember him saying before the walls started......

...spinning as I was rolled out the door. I don't even want to THINK about what happened between then and now - the places I've seen, the fear of knives I've developed. Anyway, the point is, that there is a valuable pickle...

... lost somewhere in this universe, country or house, and it's up to us to find it. Won't you help me in this great quest?


Just then Red Dog showed up and said...

I'm not really Red Dog, I'm an android from an advanced civilisation.
I was sent here to make sure that nobody finds the valuable pickle so my mission is to wipe all knowledge from the minds of humanity. I intend to do it with this and a.....

....magic . Who will......