h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"...pickle you good!"

At that moment a small fox held up a card with 'intermission' written on it and everyone bought some ices.

At that point the Russian military took the opportunity to...

teach every one how to break a beer bottle over there head without hurting yourself. Thankfully after the demistration, intermission, and 600 hostages getting out of the bathrooms the show went on. The cab driver, who's name was...


()

...tacsatduck, said: "I don't go south of the river, mate." The ices melted, and the fox...

cried. it didn't honestly have a clue what was going on anymore, sadly, it wandered off to....

...,that's what I call my wife, doesn't like me getting home late as it is. So he tore off in his cab, which just happened to be a super fast indy car. Back at the castle a mouse got turned into a pumpkin by...


()

whoops


()

Hello? Left field? I think this one of yours.

hmmm mabye I can just change it around a bit

...tacsatduck, said: "I don't go south of the river, mate." The ices melted, and the fox...

cried. it didn't honestly have a clue what was going on anymore, sadly, it wandered off to....

the Left field. I think this one of yours (as he hands an unbrella to his former pasenger, slick,...

...,that's what I call my wife, she doesn't like me getting home late as it is. So he tore off in his cab, which just happened to be a super fast indy car. Back at the castle a mouse got turned into a pumpkin by...


()

does that work?

...the borg queen, who was irate about coming home from a long weekend to a mess of things. The least of which was backlog that made less sense than her boy toy's cryptic "I'm not ready for a relationship" statement. This will probably ruin her halloween, thus causing her to...

...go trick-or-treating in the buff to p**s off the neighbors. The borg queen got a call from her boy toy saying it was all a mistake and that he just had to change his batteries. This totaly confused everyone listening to the story so they...


()

continued sleeping, as the whole tale had
put them to sleep 3 days earlier.

Count Rudolph, indignant at his story line 's
metmorphosing into crap, went back into his
lab in the castle dungeon to create a lifeform
that could restore his honor.

The lab, however, had just found a bone, and was...

...going to chew on it because it was a dog. Why the lab was in the lab was anyones guess. He actualy was there because...


()

...he had been Count Rudolph's
seeing-eye dog a few years ago,
when the Count had been recovering
from an eye opoeration.

"Arfster," Count Rudolph said to his dog,
"bring me some spare body parts from the
refrigerator. I need a brain, a spleen,
two kidneys, some mustard, and..."

...blood."

"I'll get it" said the dog, and did so, and then watched the count mix the ingredients together to form a new body. It was only then that the dog realised that the bottle of 'blood' was not blood but...

anyone who gets which kiddie's prog I'm parodying will get many brownie points

...katchup! The typo pixies watched from the rafters, eager to deal out typos to those who dare mock the coolest cartoon vampire duck this side of the center of the universe. All the carrots ran screaming in terror as...

(Count Duckula! Weeee... I almost forgot about that cartoon, Nick used to so rock with that show, and Danger Mouse. I miss both shows!)

Margaret Thatcher entered breathing fire. I'll privatise this place before you can say blue rinse.
As she spoke she muttered the magic words and her handbag metamorphed into an evil....

(woo! said the greatest DM fan in the universe!)

Knievel, who decided to jump over the English
Channel while riding his motorcycle.
He was all ready to roll when he suddenly
remembered that the only thing on the other side
of the Channel was France, where they don't
speak English, and don't want to let you speak it either.

"Rats!" he grumbled, "I'll just have to..."

"...try to jump the atlantic instead! Their English is better there anyhow." () So he reved up his bike to look for...

...a life insurance salesman. He found one, but the salesman recognised him and ran screaming straight into a...