h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It might be safer in the garden shed

Ooh, there's one of those!

In the UK do you have to hide your stills from Revenuers?

I believe it's legal to sell a still, but illegal to use it. What wonderful legislation.

That sounds pretty typical, Vip. Lawmakers must have to show they have no common sense at all in order to be sworn in.

Oh, it'll be one of those wonderful times when, once upon a time, it made sense, but in a clampdown on something once section was made il/legal without thiking through all the bits around it.

There's a web site someplace -- wish I could remember what it's called -- that has examples of really crazy laws that are actually on the books. Things like not bathing a pig inside the city limits.

Of course I'm only going to use the still to produce distilled water and other legal liquids, constable.

Very sensible. You can't have too much distilled water for the ironing.

I can't bathe a pig within city lkimits? Then why does the law make it illegal to have a dirty pig?

I've never seen a dirty pig in Leeds, so I doubt that law applies here.

Allegedly it is legal to kill Scotmen in the Isle of Man.

Sorry, Scotsmen. And possibly women.

No women allowed in the Isle of Man? That's carrying truth in advertizing a bit too far.

There's one about being able to shoot Scots within the city wall of York (as long as you use a crossbow), and Welshmen in Chester. Frankly I doubt the courts would recognise these "laws".

New house is coming along I'm told. I saw the shiny new kitchen units last week. Landlady-to-be is hoping to get stuff finished so they can live there for a bit - it'll be much nicer than it used to be.

When is the move?

Probably 3 Sept. I've got to be out of current house on 11, so I hope it's ready. Landlady-to-be says "It has got to be ready, therefore it is going to be ready."

This gives you time to pack and move in an orderly fashion instead of a mad scramble.