h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

good evening!

i think it may be a little early for , don't you think?

Tavaron... don't try to persuade me, you know what happens when-

Oh, alright then. You've bullied me into it.

Cheers! Congratulations! Now, who marks this thing? is it an exam thing or...I would say coursework, but that's a totally differnt thing what on Earth do i mean? you know, work for the course, to help you learn.

I had something to tell you, but I can't remember what it was now I'm here... My short-term memory frustrates me

Oh yeah! you know your Rennaissance entry? Well, i was thinking that, if it helps, I could take a look and alter some punctuation and stuff, so your English flows better

Hi! The one who marks my plan is a... well... what is he? I don't know. Something like an assistent, no professor.
And: he gave me a 1!!! Best mark!

Yes, please do that, whould be very nice!

Well done!!! I'll tl you what he is.. he's a wonderful man

Perhaps you would like to redesign my pouffes?

I shall get on to it immediately!Well... maybe after I've caught up with hootoo activities

Do that, I didn't manage to read the whole TP thread today, it was just too much, but look at the links Dimitri has posted.

I just listened again, and now I forgot about the new one

Oh dear, lol It's the last one this week isn't it? and I'm not going to be able to hear it until Tues morning.. I'm going to miss it!! I come back at 1:00am and have to go to school, so I won't get to Listen Again until the thurs!

anway, I've had a go at your Rennaissance thing, and decided that the easiest thing to do is paste the whole thing into here and put in my corrections. If there's anything you don't agree with, that's fine- my grammer is not definitive, but I have tried to keep to your style if i was in doubt. It looks very long here, doesn't it?lol

"The rebirth of the world of ancient Greeks and Romans, the development of the modern natural sciences, the initiation of money economy, Christopher Columbus, Galileo Galilei, Nicolaus Copernicus, Martin Luther, William Shakespeare, Johannes Gutenberg, Humanism:- all this was the Renaissance.

The style of this period replaced the Gothic style, which was invented in France in the 12th Century and remained popular in some parts of Europe until the middle of the 16th Century. "Stile Gottico" was a name first used during the Renaissance, to describe a style that came from the Barbaric Goths (although they had nothing to do with this period). Originally the name "Gothic" would have been deprecating/derogatory, because this style was against the fundamental Renaissance idea of harmony.

In the Renaissance the fine arts were relieved of the symbols and conventions of the Middle Ages. For the first time artists were not merely craftsmen: historians took note of not only the names of the patrons, but also the names of the artists. The centres of interest were the human being and the world around him. Two of the most important achievements of the Renaissance Arts were the careful observation of nature and human anatomy, and the use of linear perspective- before this period, there had been no method to show 3-dimensional subjects on a plane surface in a realistic way.

Italy

The Renaissance Era came into being in Italy, where it also reached its peak. In the 14th Century Giovanni Pisano and Giotto di Bondone became pioneers of a whole epoche, which was to come truly into being one century later. As sculptors, Giovanni Pisario and his father began a revival of the classical Roman sculptural style, which they combined with Gothic elements. Giotto, though lacking in knowledge of anatomy and perspective, was great at showing human emotions and he also brought up new ideas of naturalism.

Early Renaissance

The 15th Century, the Italian Quattrocento, is known as the Early Renaissance. With new technical skills architects created harmonic, yet functional buildings, which were ornated by the Romanesque style and Greek decorations. At first, architects designed only sacred buildings, but in the middle of the 15th Century the importance of civic architecture had increased. The houses were cube-shaped, with arcades around the inner courtyard; the facades of which had Romanseque windows and wer arranged with rigid regularity. every building was built on mathematical proportions, which gave them lucidity and finality. The first architect since the antiquity to use the classical orders Doric, Ionic and Corinthian1 in a consistent and appropriate way was Filippo Brunellschi, whose greatest work was the Florence Cathedral. He was the first Renaissance architect to design round buildings.

Painters and sculptors turned their attention towards nature and nudes; reliefs2 reached more depth and realism by the use of perspective. The first artist whose sculptures showed the individuality of the sculptor himself was Donatello. He was also the first one to create a nude statue3 after the Middle Ages (when even Adam and Eve wore fig leaves). Sculptures were no longer included only in architecture, but were artistic works in their own right. Two of the most important artists of the time were Masaccio4 and Sandro Botticelli5. Masaccio combined Giotto's style with new methods of perspective and new techniques, which are best shown in his The Holy Trinity with the Virgin, St. John and Two Donars. The most important pictures by Botticelli are Primavera and The Birth of Venus.

High Renaissance

The High Renaissance (about 1500-1520) is closely connected with three artists: Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo Buonarroti and Raphael6. They strove for the harmony and beauty captured in the art of ancient Greeks and Romans. Many pictures from this time hide geometric compositions, triangles are a common example7. Landscapes, although still just background decoration, stopped looking like sets of a theatre, with several levels of stylized rocks and a few trees & hills.

Leonardo da Vinci was a universal genius. His studies of nature and technology were as important for the people of his time as his art is for the people of today. The few paintings he created have remained incredibly popular, with at least two of them being among the most famous works in the world: Mona Lisa and the Last Supper. Also easily recognised is his drawing of the Vitruvian Man.
Leonardo's Last Supper was painted on one wall of the refectory (dining hall) in the Convent of Santa Maria delle Grazie. It is the first picture of this subject to show Judas on the same side of the table as all other diciples- a separation is achieved through the individual personalities of the figures. The main point of the perspective composition is Christ's head, so you immediately recognize him as the most important person. Another remarkable fact about the perspective in this fresco is, that the table is drawn in a way that makes it appear to reach out into the room, to stand with the others in the refectory.
Many artists drew versions of the Vitruvian Man, a concept of proportions invented by the roman architect Vitruvius. He thought that the body of a man fits perfectly into the geometric figures of circle and square, with the navel being in the centre. Leonardo was the first artist to correct the Vitruvian concept according to his own anatomical studies.
Leonardo was also the inventor of the airial perspective8, sfumato9 and chiaroscuro10.

Michelangelo was one of the most passionate artists of the Renaissance period. The paintings in the Sistine Chapel, the unfinished tomb of pope Julius II and the extension of St. Peter's Church are his most important works, but the most famous may be his statue of David.
Although Michelangelo disliked painting and prefered sculptoring, the fresco in the Sistine Chapel is the greatest in the world. Alone, but for only a few helpers, he decorated 1000m2 of ceiling with about 300 figures. The fresco shows an overwhelming amount of complexity and dynamism.
The work on the unfinished tomb of Julius II lasted for 40 years and should have included 32 statues, but only a few of them were actually made. The greatest existing statue of the tomb is a giant Moses.

Raphael created perfect harmony, he was a master of perspective and composition and in the use of colours he even surpassed Leonardo and Michelangelo. The climax of his creative power were the frescos in the Vatican Apartments, the most famous part of these frescos is the School of Athens in the Pope's Library. The artist and his pupils spent 10 years painting the appartments.
Raphael's style was a culmination of all the artistic achievements of his time.

The most important shape in architecture of the High Renaissance was the circle, which symbolized divine order. Together with squares and crosses the circle was used in ground plans; but another characteristic feature for Renaissance churches is the huge dome on the roof. For the clergy however, round churches were impractical for Mass. Such round buildings were designed by Donato Bramante, the greatest architect of the High Renaissance- the most perfect chapel of this shape was his Tempietto. Bramante also extended Santa Maria delle Grazie, where Leonardo had painted the Last Supper.
Palladio11, another important architect, was a specialist in domestic architecture, his buildings show the classical ideals of symmetry, axiality and clarity.

Late Renaissance

In the 16th Century, the usage of colours and shapes had improved. The most important artists of this time were Titian, Giorgione and Tintoretto, who were forerunners of the Baroque Era. Architects gave up harmony and proportion for decorative effects and taller buildings.
The speciality of Titian was portraits, he was great in his use of colours and in composition and managed to depict different materials, such as metal or glass, in a very realistic way. Giorgione's12 paintings have mainly warm colours and show a mysterious and spiritual concept of nature. The most significant aspects of Tintoretto's 13 works are diagonal compositions, theatrical lighting and expressive style.

Northern Europe

In the north it was more difficult to overcome the Middle Ages, and so gothic architecture remained prominent there until the 16th Century, although the first influences of the Italian Renaissance can be found in paintings from the 15th Century. On the other hand the whole Renaissance was influenced by a Dutch invention: oil painting. Before the invention of oil paint, egg tempera was generally used, the adhesive being the yolk rather than oil. The disadvantage of this paint is, that you can't create floating colours, they always stand next to each other without a connection. Oil painting made it possible to use techniques like Leonardo's airial perspective.

The first picture of winter was painted by a Dutchman in the Renaissance: Hunters in the Snow, by Pieter Brueghel the Elder. This painter placed particular emphasis on the everyday life of ordinary people and also transfered themes from the Bible to his own time, but sometimes these religious themes reported on current political affairs.
Oil painting was improved by the painter Jan van Eyck, with this technique he was able to paint microscopic details which can,for instance, be seen in his picture Giovanni Arnolfini and his wife.
A third Dutchman, Hieronymus Bosch was a unique artist, who painted eerie and surreal scenes. His subjects were often composed of non-matching parts and proportions.

The German High Renaissance was a time of religious dissension and Peasants' Revolt. Here Albrecht Dürer, Hans Holbein, Matthias Grünewald and Lucas Cranach created very different sorts of art. In Germany two very important artistic printing technologies were invented: woodcut and copperplate engraving.
The most important German painter of the Renaissance was Matthias Grünewald, whose paintings show dramatic scenes of mostly religious matters and contain many mythological symbols. His masterpiece is the Isenheim Altarpiece.
Albrecht Dürer's paintings could never reach the level of the Dutch and Italian paintings, but his drawings, woodcuts and watercolour paintings show his talent and accuracy. One of his most famous pictures is A Young Hare.

In the second half of the 16th Century a new style was developed in Italy, called Baroque, and in the beginning of the 17th Century it already was the most common style in Europe.


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1 Doric, Ionic and Corinthian are the three orders of ancient Greek columns which describe different architectural systems with different proportions and detailing
2 relief: the picture on a coin for instance is a kind of relief, it is not absolutely flat, but it is no real sculpture either
3 the statue was a David
4 real name: Tommaso di Ser Giovanni di Simone Guidi Cassai
5 Botticelli = little barrel
6 Raffaello Sanzio
7 e.g. Raphael's Madonna in the Meadow and Jesus in Leonardo's Last Supper
8 perception of depth in nature by athmospheric haze (e.g. background Mona Lisa)
9 blurring or softening of sharp outlines
10 light-shade effects
11 Andrea di Pietro della Gondola
12 Giorgio Barbarelli
13 Tintoretto = the little dyer; his real name was Jacopo Robusti

If there's anything you don't understand, tell me! i would go through it all, but that would take hours... Good luck with it!

Thank you sooo much Vamster! That's very nice

Have some.


Go to bed if you're tired, I'll go soon too, 'cause I just finished the stupid text I had to write.

Are you going to Italy already? When? Tomorrow? I wish you a nice time there. You'll certainly like it.

No! i'm going to Italy on...the..er... 19th I think. no, my first trip's going to be this Friday...sorry, Frogday, however, so things are pretty hectic.

I hope it helps!

thank-you for the , I need it- I'll be going shopping very soon, frantic shopping at that, so I'll need the energy!

My parents are flying to the USA on Sunday morning, so it's a bit hectic here too.

I'm doing homework again, my comic film... I've already got 16 pictures, and since I know how the program works I'm very fast.

where are they going? I don't think I'd ever get to america, unless it was organised for me... so many places to choose from, so many uninformed decisions Decisions are not something I'm good at, lol

I've just posted to blackholed, he says your his twin soul!(it is *he* isn't it?...)

a comic film? what's it about? So, I suppose you like this program better than the other one you were working with before

They're flying to San Francisco and then drive around in the west.

Oh yes, I know, he said that to me too..., I'm rather sure that he's a he...

It's only walking through rooms, no action, no people. I've finished it at 5pm aand now I do my physics homework.

I'm opening a café at the pond, Dimitri was so kind to correct my text.

Not far from the pond there is an old lime tree, stretching its branches wide over the soft grass. Against its huge trunk leans a wooden ladder; it creaks slightly as you climb it.

When you reach the top, you find a large wooden platform with tables and chairs of all sizes and shapes. The dark floor is polished to a deep shine by the many pairs of feet which have walked on it over the years. The walls are the fresh young leafs of the old tree itself; as they stir in the wind, you can see the blue sky, and sunbeams break through the shadows of the café. If you bend some of the younger branckes, you can even see the pond.
Like a column, the trunk of the lime tree stands in the middle of the café; a bar is built around it in a semicircle. Next to the bar there is another ladder; this one leads up to a second platform, where the kitchen is. The smell of freshly baked cakefloats down from the kitchen.

I just need an ending now, then it's there

that's brilliant!*smells cake mix, puts finger in bowl...and is shocked beyond words when something moves...*

maybe you should mention CAFFAE (what does it stand for?) and the Head Chef, yourself- I think as the creator of Flycake and its equally successful condiment,fly-sauce you should be the cookoooo... there, you have yourself a hat!

Maybe you could put that all between stars *jbkjbkj*, as opposed to Italics, so then you could write a proper café welcome, i.e. Welcome to the Café, what would you like to drink? Perhaps an extract from the Menu

My Grand-parents went to Sna Francisco- it looks lovely, except for the hills, lol

good luck with the intro!

I should write a message for my guests like: when I'm not there please help yourself!

I've been to San Francisco as a child, it is a very nice city as far as I can remember...

What do you say, where shall I put the pictures of the famous frogs? And what are their names?

i don't know, make them up. I have an idea!

try this http://www.pinkpigpage.com/oink.html , it's the pink pig page museum. i know it's pigs, but it's the same idea, and they're very funny!

i don't know, maybe you could put them in every so often, as people look around the walls Or start it off in the intro, and hope others carry it on?

You're very well travelled, it seems

a funny page

I'll put them in every time a good name passes my mind, that's a good idea!
It's already there, our little café

I've been to the USA for 5 or 6 times I think and I've been to Italy... very often, but it's very close, so... I've been to England once, twice to France... and some other things.

I forgot to say: I wish you a nice trip tomorrow!

HELLO!!!!

well, I'm back from the sunny Isle Of Mann, looking like a and needing a few, very cold s

I'm off again tomorrow at 5:30 , so this is a brief return and Imay not be able to get round all the post- that café of yours has been busy!

Where did you go in England ?~(have I asked that before?)We just go to France every year really, although I've been to the Rhineland and to northern Catalonian Spain
I'm sorry, the speaker seem about to blow up. I'll just scootoff now

Where will you go tomorrow?

I've been mainly in London, but we've also been somewhere in the country, I can't remember, it was tooo long ago.
I only know that we had a horrible hotel. They made tea with chlorinated water and the eggs they made for breakfast...

Will you be a roasted when you return from the next trip?

Well, eggs don't mean anything...

Oxford! So yes, I will burn, as it's further south than before and hasn't even got a sea breeze! I'll be tomato on toast!

My friend who's an LOTR obsessive wants us to go on an LOTR trail tomorrow, if we have time- e..g go to the pub where Tolkein and Lewis Carroll (sp?) hung out

I've also just discovered that Tolkein used to live near me! I had no idea!!

I'm going to pack now, talk to you on Fri (if I haven't collapsed from exhaustion or excitement )