h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I sense a schism.

*runs to fetch dictionary*

similar to a diremption, but not quite.

*continues to fetch dictionary*

Thats a BIG dictionary.

Is it?

*takes second look*

Nah, only as big as most of my textbooks for school.

*the word "satire" flashes across the screen as this is being said*

SCHISM?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

only about the hypothetical nature of which playlists would Jesus have on his iPod, if you believe in that sort of thing.

Duh, he'd have 'Always Look on The Bright Side of Life' on it.

*Prepares for stoning*

What type of stoning? The drug kind or the rock kind?

The Rock kind. *Runs*

calculate for trajectory while I fetch my catapult from the sub-sub basement....

Wait, the armoury has a basement?

What for?

We have many rooms, basements and mezanines and adjuncts to loft conversions etc. That's why the Armoury is situated on the rim of an event horizon rotating around a singularity. Physics is mostly notional and shelf space is infinite.

Real-estate too for that matter.

Hmm, I may want to look down there.

Be my guest: There's a fireman's pole in the potting shed that leads down to the lower levels and beneath there; the Vaults.

Oooo, the vaults.

Where else do you think we'd keep and the really sharp and dangerous stuff?

*slides down poll to the vaults*

Hmm, where's the lights?

Oh wait, I've got a night vision feature on these eyes.

There should be a few white phosperous lamps down there that'll light up quite nicely....