h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey, I've read every single Holmes story and all the books, and there is no pizza in them anywhere.

*grumble* still havne't found the ***gium elf. *grumble*

Maybe you mean pizza with ears...or thumbs...or greek translator.

..... *doesnt have a reply*

Excuse me, but kindly tell me who the 'Belgium elf' you are referring to is, my dear Severa. My skills of deduction = almost nothing.

Surely you've read Conan Doyle's classic 'The Remarkable Affair of the Deep Pan Pepperoni with Extra Mushrooms'?

What? No, I can't say that I have. I don't believe he wrote such a story.

Of course he did! It's in his "Complete Collection of Sherlock Holmes!" Right after "The Trouble with Thing."

*is officially lost*

Yes, he frequents a take-away shop called, 'Elementary Pizza.'

I thought it was Watson's Italian Eatery?

::: shrug ::: either way, I hear the food was good.

Oh, it was. That, indeed, is the solution to the whole affair that only the Great Detective could have seen. For it was not the pizza which contained the deadly extract of the rare Venezualan fungus known as the Devil's Petticoat; nor indeed was it the Gentleman's Size Cola Tonic that accompanied.

"No, my dear Watson, the death of the notorious brass paper fastener magnate Sir Bugford Cotterbury was down to his habit of licking the inside of the pizza box. It is an unpleasant practice, but one common to the M'Bongo tribes of the Gilbert and George Islands, where he had been shipwrecked in his youth whilst serving as Ship's Cobbler on HMS Indigestible. Once I had ascertained this, and that his wife's sister, the saintly songstress Miss Elephanta Pomagne, had once been affianced to the Venezualan vice-consul in Shepton Mallet, the means of Sir Bugford's demise were quite obvious."

You people are crazy, but I seem to be picking up at least one of Holmes's habits. I, although I am already crazy, do not doubt that picking up /any/ of the great detective's habits will make me even crazier. See if you can guess which one I have acquired.

Who is this 'Belgium elf', Severa? Just making sure my question is not utterly ignored.

*waits for the answer*

*waiting. taps foot impatiently. still waiting* We are waiting for the same answer, right?

Maybe... maybe not.

Oh bravo, PF Holmes, bravo!

Well, I'm waiting for an answer as to what the devil a 'Belgium elf' is.

You mean *you* don't know?!