h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Whatever. Read it backwards.

"ti"






















That's what "it" is backwards...

astonishing

*I* thought so too.

er, master-at-arms? hi, i was told to collect my uniform here? are the breastplates still available in gold, silver and aluminium foil, or have we expanded the wardrobe?

Edam, the cheese that's made backwards!

You may have whatever kind of uniform you like, Farlander. If you don't see it sitting out in plain sight, we'll look around in the various trunks, shelves, closets, abandoned rooms and storage sheds until we find it. We've never had a request yet that we couldn't fill, although many Thingites have opted for the standard purple rubber kilt. Or a toga.

So what kind of uniform were you interested in, specifically?

Oh, and there are still a few titanium s over there on the table

*points to table*

... so be sure to help yourself to one of those.

Also we have weapons and clothing from all time zones, including alternative realitys due to the convenient location on a eddie in the space/time continuum.

Though we never did find the vat of fire-proofing stuff...

The vat! I totally forgot about the vat of fireproofing stuff. It's in that back closet there labelled "Absolutely not a vat of fire proofing stuff closet. Really. Why are you still reading?" I wanted to keep it secure.

*peers*

You mean that closet behind the flame throwers?

No, the other one - the one over there--->

okies... i'll take a silver breastplate and helmet... gauntlets and brass chopsticks would be good if you've got any of those (never underestimate the humble eating utensils as major-damage weapons). i'll just stuff the spork in my belt for now (makes easy drawing), and i'm practically all set. oh, and... aargh, where are the towels?

Don't panic! What sort of towel do you want, we've got pink, blue, purple, vogon green, and floral. We also have towels with nutrient soaked corners, reïnforced seams and built in supercomputers.

And will someone look around and find him a uniform fitting that description?

I'd do it, but I need to be leaving right now...

well i would like to help but the only uniforms are the crystal plated ones that i make myself, since i cant get anything else but crystal to fit because it gives me an awful rash.....

*sigh*

I'm gone for 6 hours and no one has bothered to find that uniform yet?

*rummages around under the staircase in the closet*

Ah, here's some gauntlets, now to find the rest of it.


*digs through 16 trunks before finding a silver breastplate*

I'll be right back, just going to check upstairs for a few things.


*bang, crash, thump, shatter*



Not to worry, everything's ok up here - I found your helmet and brass chopsticks!


Now, will you be needing anything else?

6 hours without h22 how will u last?

It was difficult.



First you get the nervous shakes, which quickly progress to tremors.



When the spasms start, you know you'd better find a way to hootoo again.

I'm not sure if I get the shakes more from the absence of hootoo, or the b'log waiting when I return!