h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello SwEetheart, I reckn you're run down, keep a had and eat well even if you don't feel like iy. We're just back from Bournemouth actually, well we did Swanage, Salisbury Poole and Christchurch, too, weather iffy but we enjoyed it. I'll write tomorrow, Love, Ham.

Too depressed to write! Who'd be a Toon supporter, seriously I'll be bending your ear tomorrow, Love, Ham.

Never mind, they're off for warm weather training, I'd have them doing community service! I didn't get back yesterday, busy one way and another. Yes Bournemouth was a lot of fun, we even did the Harry Ramsden chip shop thing, and it wasn't bad at all I must admit. I'm always suspicious of these big chains, but it was fine. We stay at this hotel, really reasonable and a lot of fun, it's called the Celebrity, I think I've talked about it before, all the rooms are themed, we were in the Dolly Parton room! They're real nice Italian people that run it, we had dinner one night and it was great, £60 for three courses for the two of us with wine, and including tips, really good and hearty home cooking. It's bliddy freezing here this morning, I was at the quacks first thing for blood tests, they really struggled to get some blood out, of course I go there on my bike and I'm a bit chilled but they managed in the end, I'm like a big kid I hate needles. Let me know how things are when you can, Love, Ham.

Smiles ...I'm happy with Sunderland (this week anyway) ,I'm really worried about them in general though.It's not looking good for either of our teams Ham. Geordie across the road has been in hiding this week ,I'm determined to catch him though hahaha

No blood in you Ham ? Probably froze on the way there man ,I'm sure they just say things like that cos they KNOW we hate needles..it's a ploy ,to scare us more. So how much longer are these tests going to last before they understand you're fit enough to have the op ? It seems to be going on a bit. Mind you Ham ,might be better when the weather warms up a bit ,you have to exercise once the op has been completed. It's freezing cold here at the moment too ,sunshine ,so it's pleasant ,just freezing once your out.

I'm so pleased you enjoyed the holiday. You have told me about the hotel where you stay ,Dolly Parton ,one of my favourite female singer / songwriters. Bet you came away inspired hahaha

Everything is ok here Ham ,you know ? Getting through ,taking it one day at a time. 27th Feb ,it'll be a year on that day,sometimes it seems like a hundred years ,other days ,it seems like yesterday. We're getting through Ham. You have to,life goes on ,what can you do but live it I suppose. Then people say ,'Oh he wouldn't want you to be upset!' Naturally ,they have no idea about him ,I can 'hear' him saying 'Your not sad enough ,more crying ,your laughing too much !' hahahaha Not sure if I told you ,my daughter found me crying in the kitchen ,she said 'Mum (they say that in Lancashire ,never mam ) what's the matter ?' ..I told her I just wanted her Dad..she replied 'Well why ,if he were here you'd only be shouting at him !' That brought me down to earth with a bump ...I thought ..hmmmmm ,she's right hahahahaha They tell it how it is don't they ? Stopped the tears for awhile anyway hahaha We're getting there Ham ,slowly but surely.

Right ,hope this posts,my PC is wanting to do updates ,I keep postponing ,I don't think it's happy at all with me I'll write soon Ham ,I can never thank you enough for putting up with me. Love Pinks XXX

Lovely stuff, goodness knows how I'd be if my missus passed away, guilt on guilt, I'm a ratty so and so sometimes. Oh they jabbed my knee at the surgery with cortisone, and though it's short-term it works wonderfully well so I'm like a spring chicken at the moment, why they didn't offer that at the hospital I don't know, I'll be brief as we're off out but lovely to hear from you, I'll write soon, Love, Ham

I'm off out tonight to a Billy Fury tribute concert, goodness knows why, just kind of got railroaded into it but it might be fun. There's a Welsh Rockabilly band on as well, I love a bit of Rockabilly me. My wonderful granddaughter has us a bit worried Pinky, she seems to be in the grip of some eating disorder, but thankfully she made her own way to the GP which is a really good sign, but doing what I did for a living it's really troubling. You know I think we pile too much on kids these days, she's trying for uni and grades ad goodness knows what are all important. It's no good saying don't worry, anxiety manifests itself in so many ways, I've seen it so many times in my work. Anyways, she'll be fine, we'll make sure! Love, Ham.

Hello Ham , Billy Fury ,long time since I heard that name. I didn't know he'd made enough songs for a tribute ! Let me know how that went.

I agree ,so much pressure on kids today ,even from a very young age. Of course your granddaughter will be fine Ham ,once she's settled and knows which uni,which course ,where she'll be living ,it's so much stress. Not to mention the other pressures , to be glamorous ,be thin ,it just goes on and on. Like you said ,her wanting to go see the doctor ,she's half way sorted out already. Besides she has a loving family ,it makes such a difference.

So is that the first injection you've had in your knee Ham ? I think you can have one every six months ,I'll check with my friend,she had those and they worked. Temporarily of course ,at least it's some relief. Can't think why they didn't do it sooner.

Everything here is ,well ,apart from rain ,fine. Already the daffodils are in full bloom in the garden ,all reassuring and splendid,a sign of better things to come I always think. I think I told you I was going to dancing class (modern ballrooom) every week. I'm actually enjoying it ,and now the steps are becoming more intricate ,a little more intense,I think I'll be ready for the next Strictly Come Dancing show hahaha I can do a 'mean' rumba now hahaha It's keeping me out of trouble and sane ,at the moment ,something to focus on ,lets say.

Off to me Mams today for Sunday dinner, roast beef and Yorkshire puddings ,I don't mind doing the washing up Ham,just lovely not to have to cook for once. Right sending this now ,with all my love as always. I am thinking of you. Love Pinks XXX

I wish I was there to help you dance the Yorkshire puddings off! Oh the Billy Fury thing, hilarious there were a lot of ladies of a certain age up from Reading with these ridiculous short skirts on for bopping, underwear everywhere, made my eyes water I can assure you! Billy Fury was about 70, and insisted on pestering women around the tables! I was in stitches. I might make a comeback yet, I couldn't be worse. Oh that jab is just great, he's going to do the other one in a fortnight, if it lasts a month it's well worth it. My daughter had over reacted a bit to be honest, but it's quite natural. I keep telling them you've got the rest of your life to study, I did my first degree when I was 45, I still don't know what I want to do and I've retired! I won the beef today, so all is rosy in this neck of the woods, my missus is downstairs watching Countryfile, I really can't stand it, but it gives me something to whinge about! Love, Ham.

Hahahaha,sounds like too much excitement for me Ham ,Billy Fury flirting and women bopping hahaha I think you making a comeback has to be the way to go. I mean Frank Sinatra did it a few times

It was a nice afternoon over at me Mams,just a shame the weather wasn't ! More rain ,it's never ending. Even today,the sun is shining yet ,still a few showers. Summer can't come fast enough now,everyone seems so fed.

They only last a month ? The injections ? I thought it was about four months ? Any ease of the pain has to be good Ham. So as one knee becomes painful again ,they do the other one ? Why they can't do them both together I'll never know ,obviously has to be a reason. Finance probably ! Only so much allocated to a patient per month,something stupid ,I bet .

Ham you're right ,at no time in history has it been easier for people to be educated ,or re educated at any age. I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up hahaha It's the 'school system',they want to pigeon-hole people from day one. The faster they can get people into work ,the more taxes they collect,the untold pressure they put on children ,sending them into blind panic and making the wrong choices,well it's no wonder the kids go into melt down ,from time to time. I'll stop now about the education system ,promise,if I keep on ,this will never send ,ever. hahaha

Right,off to cook dinner,and well done winning the beef prize,the butcher will be sad this week Always wonderful reading your messages. Love Pinks XXX

PS I love Countryfile ,or is it Matt ? He's from Durham ,reminds me of home when he talks xxx

Hello Pinky we seem to have got out of sync, sorry about that, I'm sure I replied to your last posting, must have gone into space! I'm all over the shop with my re-discovered mobility, I've been out today actually, walking around Dorchester and the Thames, I'll make the most while it lasts. You know I told you about my sis who died in Canada? I'd got up about 6am this morning to read, the phone rang about 7:15, my missus picked it up and it was my neice from Canada, that is my late sister Mary's daughter, I haven't seen her or spoke to her since she was 14! She's almost 50 now, still stunning looking, (people say she looks like me but modesty forbids!) She was understandably emotional for a while, I had left a couple of messages and I don't think she could bear to talk about her mum but she finally got it together and all in all it was a joyous conversation. She's married to a nice guy apparently, 6'3" German construction worker looks hard as nails, but I remember my sis saying he's a real pussy cat. I phoned my other 'real' sis in Newcastle to tell her, can't tell you how strange all this is to me Pinky, I've been alone in the sense of blood relatives all of my life. My neice couldn't get over my accent! Anyways my darling, keep well, I'm sorry about missed message Love, Ham

Hello Ham ,just a quickie to let you know I am still thinking of you and everything is fine ,well it will be when Sunday gets here ..Mothers Day nightmare week for me ...Not a minute to breath.

I will write a more detailed message asap Ham ,just pleased to know you're up and about and the knee is doing good. Sending my love as always Pinky XXX

Just mi9ssed you darn it, you're up to your knees in Flora by now no doubt, I'm just up, feeding my guest cats and looking forward to a gruelling day listening to the latest episode in the Toon's horror story, oh and quizzing tonight, more bliddy stress, Love, Ham.

Hello sweetheart, I hope all is well, I made my first foray into the garden today, planting out wallflowers, I hope to be attacking my leylandii tomorrow, like Don Quixote and the windmills. I went to see an Andy Warhol exhibition in Oxford on Wednesday, I like to get my culture fix, did you know he traced most of his designs, from magazines and all over the place? I could do that. I thought the blown up Brillo Pad box was very good though.

Hello Ham ,so sorry for my negligence ,lost my password ,ploughed through a million emails and found it ...phewy !

Hope all is well with you ? Hope you're all having a peaceful Easter ,and hope the weather is as nice as it is here.Even went for a walk on the beach yesterday ,it was wonderful.

Andy Warhol copied his art work ? Honestly ? I mean, I know he did with the Heinz Beans and tomato ketchup posters ( I call them ) ,so how did he get so famous ? I can copy too ,we could have our own art exhibition Ham .

Well I watched our derby match ,can't say I hold much hope for either of the teams to be honest,it's too dismal to think about.

My stepfather is still unwell ,in and out of hospital it gets very wearing Ham to be honest. I spend as much time at me Mams as I can ,she needs a little more help recently,her knee is so painful. Other than that ,life is going on ,some days I don't have an explanation as to why,then the next day ,life seems ok. We have to get through it I suppose.

I'm hoping to get out out into the garden Sunday ,weather allowing and I can't wait Ham . I've bought some mixed wild flowers ,I'm thinking meadow ! Not sure just where it's going to be yet ,but I'll find a spot somewhere.
Right posting this now ,and hoping it finds you well and happy. Love Pinks XXX

What a relief, I went weak at the knees when I saw your posting. I know it's been a couple of days, I do look in every day but we had a family wedding on Saturday, he only lives at Thatcham, about 25 miles away, we had this bliddy chaotic day, they got married at this God forsaken place just off the motorway, some golfing/hotel complex, rip off city. He's our nephew, Margaret's sister's boy and of course there were loads down from Newcastle. He's been with his partner for years now but they decided to finally tie the knot on an Easter weekend in a howling gale in the middle of nowhere! Very convenient for everybody! We got a taxi back, my grandson decided to initiate himself into the world of Bacchanalia by drinking half a bottle of vodka with his cousins, his mum my stupid daughter didn't tell us and blithely ignored the whole situation, my missus had to sit up with him all night, holding the bowl, he'd got sick in the taxi, I'm still seething about it, not the bairn of course but my daughter just went off to bed in the hotel and left us to get him home, in summary that's why I didn't look at my mail here! Of course they all piled around for lunch yesterday, my missus is on her knees! Enough already, we've booked a week in Penzance to cheer ourselves up! Same place we stopped last time fantastic, we're away the end of next month. Oh I won the beef and a tenner in the meat draw yesterday, always a silver lining!

Love, Ham!!!!

Oh no Ham ,I hate weddings even in convenient places ,then having to deal with an inebriated grandson. I don't know which is worse ? Still a holiday in Penzance has to be a consolation ,not to mention the beef and a tenner.

Let me get you upto date with my life hahaha calm down now ,stop sweating ,nothing too risque here,well unless you call a night out with friends ,me being slightly tipsy and apparently propositioning the taxi driver ! Personally ,if I can't remember it never happened,hahahaha That's why I forgive your grandson ,totally. I am in no position to criticise whatsoever. I blame it on too many chocolate Easter eggs,mixed with lager and lime ,they need to look into that concoction if you ask me. Moving on ......my step father is at last out of hospital ,much better ,still not completely fit ,but feeling better. Me Mams knee is causing troubles ,for her and everyone else ,she doesn't do pain and she's the worst patient . Nightmare ! They're trying her on new painkillers now ,I hope they work ,we'll see.

I'm living the life of a carefree single person ,I never seem to see the kids ,unless they want something ,out and about with friends ,calling me on the phone when they need a lift ,but pretending to be protective.When they do get home ,they are telling me it's bedtime !! As 'man of the house' our Zac has gone into 'caveman mode'. Instructing me on how to face my future. Enjoy myself ,but not too much ,it's just funny watching Ham.They make me smile.

It was my birthday yesterday, lovely day ,sun shining ,warm ,we went for a walk on the beach ,the tide was in ,of course ,so a walk along the prom was glorious. Then a meal out with the family ,The Shovels ,Hambleton ,really nice ,a pub ,home cooked food ,relaxed and reasonable. Another year older Ham ,no wiser,but I can see happier days ahead. I'm going to London in June ,a few weeks holiday with my brother and sister ,they keep insisting ,I keep avoiding it ,they are planning days here and there ,so now I feel obligated. I'll let you know when, nearer the time.

Right ,I should post this now ,otherwise it won't send. Just lovely hearing from you as always Ham ,every best wish ,wrapped up in this message. Love Pinks XXX

All the very best Sweetheart, I'll come and give you a lift home if there's any chance of being propositioned! I'll tell you what, I wish my kids were giving me advice, I'm still wiping their.... well not quite but you know what I mean. I'm not so bad but they forget my missus is nearly 70, I know, seems crazy to me too, but they think she's same as ever, but anyways. I'm deep into the garden actually it's still a mess but I've got a couple of rows of spuds in, got me shallots out, (not in front of the neighbours mind!) best of all I conquered the Leylandii, till the autumn anyways. And put my tomatoes in trays today, I got a load of seeds for 50p from Waitrose, nobody reduces like Waitrose, real expensive 'Dutchy Organic' tomatoes, passed by the Prince himself no doubt! I'll let you know how I get on. It's great to hear you thriving I know it's tough darling but you've turned a little corner anyway, I'll write tomorrow whatever, All my Love, Ham.

Heading South eh? Well keep in touch. I'm sitting listening to Sound of the Sixties, Brian Matthews sounds about 90 these days. Honest I'm only just getting over the weekend, what a nightmare. My wife's sister, Mother of the bridegroom is back in Newcastle of course and she has been called into hospital for an urgent assessment, she's got this strange illness, progressive weakness, won't be anything simple for her but they've got her on some special diet now they're worried about diabetes, sugar levels and all that, once they start messing about there's no end, I wish I'd never gone near, warfarin, sleep mask, all I wanted was my knee fixed, they've done everything but, I've honestly never had a symptom but a sore knee, bonkers!!! Quizzing tonight, more bliddy stress but it's a good evening out, we go with neighbours, really nice people, we haven't won for ages but I watched the Mastermind final last night so I'm all ready. The Toon are in a must win tussle today, Norwich, goodness help us, I've always admired our manager, but Harry Potter couldn't get us out of this fix, anyways sweetheart, I guess you're knee deep in Flora by now on a Saturday, but I'll be the same in a minute, potting pansies! Pansy Potter that's me Love, Ham.

Hahaha Pansy Potter hahaha not heard that in awhile Ham hahaha Sounds like your garden is at least getting there ,I haven't started on this one up here yet ..I take one peep and run back into the house ..The dog has the 'lawn' ( even though I do use the term very loosely always ) ,in a right mess ,I have no idea how I'm going to sort that out. The pond ,well ,untouchable right now ,overfilled with frog spawn. The shed ,well that lives a life all on it's own ,heaven knows when that will be sorted ...I can't even begin to explain what lurks in there. My hubby collected more antique tools ,than the Antiques Road show has even dreamed of ....and why ? That's what I want to know ? It's not like he used them ,he could never find them ,and accused me of messing with them ,well I wish he were here now ,they've all turned up ,in mass !!! Could take years to sort through that lot.I'm dreading it Ham ,not to mention spiders ,could even be Spiderman in there ,who knows ? It's going to take a beautiful summer ,with no rainy days ,to even begin to start here. The very thought makes me wish we lived in a flat. Little balcony ,a couple of window boxes ,perhaps.

I haven't even glanced at the footie results Ham ,I'm too scared. It's a disgrace,our lot up there. Me Da will be turning in his grave ,both teams heading for relegation , I could manage them ,both ,better,and I have no understanding of the offside law at all. I just hope one of them stays up ,leave us with some pride.

I hope you did better at your quiz night Ham Sending this now ,I need a cup of tea ,I'll write later ..count on it. Love Pinks XXX