h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Pinky, we're just back from Newcastle, I just looked in, I'll catch up and get back tomorrow at the latest, all kinds of stuff been happening, Love as ever, Ham.

As promised here I am, I'll cut to the chase or I'll be on forever, right after New Year I had to go into hospital for an urgent blood transfusion, I was just in overnight but I was weak as a kitten for about three weeks, Docs are blaming my Warfarin and another drug the GP gave me, seems they shouldn't be prescribed together, I'm fine now more or less but it was scary I tell you. So while I was hooked up to the blood transfusion I speak to my dear old pal in Gateshead, his son was in a coma, only 44 I was at his Christening! He subsequently died after they turned off his life support, imagine it! So I had T had to get up to Newcastle for the funeral, not ideal but we're back! Anyways what a joy to hear from you, I've got more tales than Hoffman, write when you get this and your shell-like will be bent double, all my love, Ham.

Oh my goodness me Ham ,I'm telling you ,you can't trust these doctors anymore ,clueless..I think ,they check these medications out by reading on the net (we can all do that ) but ,they don't consider we are all different ,therefore our needs are different ...Me Mam just came out of hospital today ,they had no idea what was wrong ,we discovered it was a kidney infection ,at first they said it was some virus ,talk about stress !

Are you off the Warfarin now Ham ? Thank heavens you're ok ,I was sad to hear about your friends son ,I mean it's just too tragic to think about. Truly don't know where to begin with everything ,so much to tell you ,so much to complain about hahahaha I've missed you drastically.

Two years on the twenty seventh of this month since my hubby died ,I can't believe it and have no idea where the time has gone Ham. I'm coming to terms with things a lot easier now ,yes ,there is a life after a death. Just takes time getting used to it. It's been a long ,gruelling haul,but I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel Ham . Last year at this time ,I didn't even know where the tunnel was ...proving ,time is a great healer. People who kept saying that to me ,well ,you have to imagine my unspoken remarks, not very pleasant I assure you. They were right ,I was wrong.

I'm thrilled to bits you're on the mend ,even more thrilled to hear from you. I stopped checking daily ,I was getting concerned (and my imagination just goes into overdrive,even on a good day )Tell me everything ,I want to hear it all. I'm thrilled to bits you're safe Ham. Looking forward to our conversations so much ..and I can't stop saying ..I'm thrilled to bits ...ok ok I'll stop ,for now hahahaha Speak to you soon my dearest friend . Love Pinks XXX PS I am thrilled to bits though

Tell you what, I'm 70 today, I feel about 12. Yes apart from the really sad funeral we had a great time in Newcastle, I think I told youmy eldest Granddaughter is at Uni up there so we fed her up for the week honestly, she broke her arm in some stupid carry on but she's loving it up there. Got to go we've got builders doing the bathroom, I' get back tomorrow, I'll be having more thana acouple later, Love You, Ham.

Happy Birthday Ham , a little older and a lot wiser eh ? hahahahaha Hope you had a wonderful birthday. I send you ,everything you would wish for yourself.....Catch up later. Love Pinks XXX

Thank you sweetheart, we were supposed to be going out last night but a dear old friend turned up with a case of beer so it was a home delivered Pizza for supper, we went to the Italian for lunch today, a nice change actually and we didn't have the long walk home in the cold and dark! Yes they've taken me off Warfarin and all anti-inflamatries. I really think I'm well but I still have to go for a coleostomy but they have to do that, not a much anticipated pleasure but I feel great actually and I'm not worried. I told you about my half sis in Newcastle? It's been a real joy getting to know her and her family, her son is a restauranteur, he has a lovely Italian in County Durham, just him and his missus, and he put a lovely meal on for us all, we took Eve my Granddaughter with us, lovely, starters and a huge bowl of Spaghhetti Marinara, my favourite which we all shared, a lovely way to eat. Oh I told you about my neighbour misbehaving didn't I? Wait for my next installment! More tomorrow! Love Ham.

Well ,that's a bit like torture Ham ,leaving me in suspense a whole day to find out about the neighbour from hell ! I can't wait.

A restaurant in County Durham eh ? I can't think of a nicer place to have a restaurant ,I love Durham. It's nice to know the family are doing well isn't it ?

Everyone is fine here , well my brother in Shepherds Bush has a cold ,I spoke to him yesterday. He sounded really off colour, his eldest son gets married in October ,I rang to thank them for the wedding invite. New outfit with matching hat, new shoes , there IS a God I'll start looking this week-end hahaha . The wedding is somewhere in Kent,it's been awhile since I was there. Something to look forward to anyway,something happy for a change.

There's a covering of frost this morning ,yesterday the sun shined all day ,no heat ,but very pleasant. I just keep thinking ,spring is a day closer ,I can't wait to get out into the garden Ham ,I feel like a caged animal at this time of year. I suppose we all do really.

So when do you have to have the colostomy operation Ham ? I don't know much about it to be honest ,I hope it all goes well and you let me know before you go in.

Right ,I'll get this sent ,and check back later to read the next part of the neighbour saga hahahaha I'm nosier than they can ever be hahahaha Speak to you soon. Love Pinks XXX

20th feb, they just look up where the Sun don't shine, let's leave it at that, but I haven't got any symptoms at all, so I'm not worried about anything but the indignity! They did the endoscopy when I was in there and that was fine. They've got to be careful after heavy bleeding, but I've had no more since, I'll go with the Docs, my GP got something wrong, but honest it was catastrophic. Anyways my missus was watching telly about 10:50 pm early December this was, I'd gone to bed typical lying with my earphones in. My wife came upstairs shook me awake, she was terrified, my neighbour the other side Lisa had heard the commotion and was trying to calm my missus. This bloke next door had been thumping on the door and shouting about the music! She was watching Flog it or something! He's gone back home shouting and yelling. My wife quite understandably wanted to call the police, I said leave it till the morning, he's gone and they're not going to rush. So I caught him the next morning as he was leaving for work, how I kept my hands off him I'll never know, but I told him if he came near my door again I'd sort him out. I called the cops and they were really good. An officer there first thing next day, this guy's missus went hysterical and he had to go to the cop shop to get a warning, what an idiot! The community cops got involved and told us to dial 999 if it happens again and to keep an attack alarm to hand. The thing is this guy is really lah di dah. we got profuse apologies back via the cops but I've made it clear we don't want any contact whatever, we haven't heard a thing since, I'm still mystified as to what rattled his cage! Builders have the house in chaos, I'd better post this or it won't go, hope it was worth waiting for! Love, Ham.

Oh the restaurant is in a place called Rowlands Gill, in the Tyne Valley, it's the only one in the village, you can't miss it, Love Ham.

Perhaps he was drunk or something Ham ? I mean it makes no sense at all,and how he dare he anyway with all the noise they have going on ? It beggars belief how some people react these days. I'm pleased he felt humiliated ! Cheeky devil ...yes it was worth waiting for hahaha You won ,he lost. I'm happy now.

Right ,sending this now ,no news at all ...well I've been asked out to a Valentines Dance tonight ..OooooOoooo A date Well ,kinda ,he's not my type but I thought ,it makes a change ,get dressed up a bit. I'll let you know how that goes Ham .

Have a lovely weekend ,speak soon. Love Pinks XXX

Keeep your hand on your hapeney hinny! I hope you had a great time, we went to see the great Roy Wood on Saturday, so we made a day of it in Oxford, went up there and watched the rugby, oh the Welsh must be so sick, they played great and lost, never any consolation when you've lost. Then we caught the end of the Toon game they're just about grinding out the results they need, I despair of your lot can't make head nor tail of them. Roy Wood was great, I've always loved him, right back to the 60's first time I saw him was in this great band called the Idle Race in about 1968! Last time was with the Move in 1972! He was this flower child with a massive haircut and a painted face, but brilliant. Great good-natured rock, he's got no swank, just belts out hit after hit, Fire Brigade is one of my top three songs of all time! Yes my neighbour remains a mystery, honest you would think he'd never say boo, how he thought I'd let him get off with that is beyond me, apparently the coppers pulled him into the copshop in Henley to warn him, imagine! He won't even look at me, goodness knows what he thought he was doing. I've bought the £20 Waitrose Valentine dinner for two, for tomorrow, two bliddy cold to go out. I was thinking about inviting the builders, they feel like a permanent addition to the household! Bliddy bathroom, they could have built Cheltenham Spa the time they spend. Hey it's great to be boring you stiff again, Love, Ham.

Hey up Pinky, hope all is well and your mum is recovering well. It's lousy weather here, I got lucky today, just weatherwise you understand! I took my daughter's dog out and the sun was out, it's started pouring since and I'm stuck in listening to the builders. Nee bliddy peace! This winter seems to have gone on forever. I got a new bike, didn't really need it but my missus insisted I had to have something! I had to chuck my trusty old mountain bike out, my good one is a nice bike and all too desirable and expensive to get nicked so I got this lovely Raleigh road bike which I hope is a bit less attractive to the tea leaves! How did your date go? I wouldn't know where to start honest! I'm only with my missus cos she was the only one who didn't stand me up! 50 years on and still tongue tied! the builders are cleaning up, thank goodness, Love, Ham.

Hello Ham ,well ,I survived ,Valentines Day and the date . My date is an old friend of the families ,my hubby's friend really,they used to train together at the gym years ago, his wife died six years ago ,she was my accountant,lovely lady. So the 'date' ,wasn't so much a date as in DATE,the event was more intriguing to me ,if you know what I mean Ham. The effort people made for the buffet ,astounding,the whole evening was lovely,a change anyway. Like you Ham ,I can't even imagine going out on a 'real' date ,with someone I didn't know I mean. I had a couple of boyfriends at college,nothing heavy you understand. Left college ,met my hubby ,the rest is history. I don't know anyone who'd put up with me ,I mean I argue with politicians on Question Time ! Loudly ,too hahaha Far from normal behaviour,but my hubby understood perfectly ,he argued with judges on talent shows ,and I've honestly never seen a boxing ref give a right decision in eons ,according to my hubby that is ,how the TV survived any boxing matches is beyond me. I was so pleased he wasn't here when England won at the last minute with the rugby mind you, he'd have sulked with anything English for hours hahahaha mainly,'me'!

Me Mams on the mend,slowly but surely Ham ,I'll let her know you're asking. The weather has it's highs and lows,one minute ,the signs of spring ,the next ,like the darkest depths of winter again. I'd like to know how my neighbours crocus are in full bloom ,but mine are still in bud ? I see clouds of snowdrops in everyone elses gardens,while mine are just pushing up now. I'm sure it's a conspiracy hahahaha So weird.

No accounting for folk Ham,it's very sad when nextdoor neighbours turn strange. They have an extension or something built and must think they're a cut above or something,makes no sense to me at all.The thing is ,even if they do regret their actions at some future point ,the trust has gone and that's it. Very sad,we all have to live alongside each other ,being kind and understanding along the way just makes life a little easier. Nowt funnier than folk.

Builders ....say no more ! They end up being closer than family ,they take over ,the whole place, you feel guilty they didn't stop for a tea when you offered ,then somehow ,you become their servant. Pop the kettle on ,no biccys with this brew ? You didn't buy choccy bics today ? I mean ,you end up hating them ,and when they go ,you miss them ,for a few days . It has to be the oddest relationship ever. No matter which room they work in ,you just feel ,they invade your privacy,and you get to accept it ,willingly...very odd. Anyway,I hope they are finished soon Ham and life can become 'normal' again.

Right ,better post this now and you don't know how it feels to hear you moaning again hahahaha like a breath of fresh air. Speak soon. Love Pinks XXX PS I can't discuss football right now Ham ,I'm in too much shock. I might start watching fishing instead

How did you get away with that long posting Pinky? I reckon you must type fast, perhaps that's it maybe they time out on me. I'm on a starving day today, colonoscopy tomorrow, can't wait! Everything seems fine so I'm not that worried. We were out for dinner yesterday, well turkey, mushy peas, (home steeped mind you) mash and cauliflower, that's what you get for having bachelor mates, my missus takes her own gravy or it would be inedible! I'm still going to have a couple at the club, haven't won the meat draw for bliddy ages. The builders are done, nice bathroom but all I need is a pot to pee in and we had that before! My missus is pleased with it but you wonder what's next! I spoke to my sis in Newcastle yesterday it was her 81st, she's always been great looking, really glamorous, her daughters and granddaughters are just stunning everybody says I'm the image of my half sis but there's nowt glamorous about me, but you can feel the emotion when we speak, hard to describe. we've been forced apart so to speak for years and years, better late than never I suppose. Well there's my missus back with the Observer, I'll be off till Tuesday, keep well All My Love, Ham.

Ham ,I must have friends in high places ,who knew ? Hahahaha I do say a prayer as I sent the posts mind

I hope everything goes ok with you today Ham ,I'll be waiting for a report. So the builders are done then ? Nice to get rid of them and get the house back. Men don't really understand why we women love 'posh' bathrooms ,we just do ..bathe in glamour and you feel glamorous,that's the theory anyway

It's lovely you've managed to make a bond with your sister Ham ,as you said ,better late than never,for both of you by the sounds of things. Life's too short to let the past keep you apart,she seems as thrilled as you are to have her brother back ,it's lovely.

No news to report from this end Ham ,makes a change mind ,if I have to type anymore bad news ,you'll despair of me . Off to get the dinner sorted ,I'll be keeping my fingers crossed all went well for you today X Love Pinks XXX

You must have done the trick Pinky, all OK and I've got the photo's to prove it! They won't be going online goodness knows that could be revenge porn gone mad! How they do the job I just don't know. He couldn't be sure about the bleed but I still reckon it was down to the Warfarin, anyway there's no sign now. I went to take the dog for a walk this morning. The Red Kites at Didcot are only a few feet over your head, it's quite high up, a wonderful sight. The sun got out for half an hour I sat and read in the sun a real treat. The dog doesn't want as much exercise as she used to, I always take it a treat and when she's had that she's ready for bed, typical woman! How's your mutt? Must be a big boy now. We were intending to go out today but we're both shattered after yesterday! Reet, all my Love Ham.

Thank goodness Ham ,that's good news ,so no more hospitals ? I have no idea how they do the job they do either ,real angels ,all of them.
Our Bonnie is huge ,and has been a godsend to be honest. She just just knows how people are feeling ,and shows more love than normal ,such unconditional love,amazing.

Red kites ,sunshine and a book ,sounds idyllic Ham. We had storm Doris ,blow through the town like a tornado ,then ,just stillness ,a bit windy ,but it didn't last long at all ,not compared to the trouble in the centre of the country Ham ,hope you were ok ?

I'm up with the larks (funnily enough I haven't heard a lark for years ) ,this morning. Listening to music as I write. Have you heard of Toby Keith ? An American country singer ,I'm into his music at the moment ,very strange hahaha ,some of his music is fun ,and clever lyrics , I like it. Check him out on Youtube Ham ,you might like it too.

Right ,off for a cup of tea ,then I may tackle the airing cupboard !! Then again ,I might not hahaha it's scary. Have a wonderful Sunday Ham ,so happy about your news. Love Pinks XXX

Sorry I mis-aligned Bonnie's gender, give her my apologies! No more hospitals but get this. I had to re apply for my driving license at 70, (I know!) and I dutifully reported my so called sleep apnoea so they're hanging on to my license till they've spoken to my consultant! What a load of twaddle. I can still drive, but I've been yelling from the rooftops I've never had a sleep problem, the only reason I went on the stupid thing, the breathing apparatus, was so they would do my bliddy knee! I had actually packed in using it but I thought I better 'comply' when I heard from the DVLC, I never nod off ever but I had my annual review coming up, I was up there, the sleep clinic, last week for my annual review. It's like having a spy in the bedroom, they put this card in their computer to check how much you're using the darn thing, I really don't need it but it keeps them in work I suppose! Sunday evening, my missus watches Countryfile and Antiques Roadshow, I truly can't stand either I'm a miserable old so and so but I come upstairs and read for an hour or so mustn't grumble (much) I suppose. Sorry about the moans, I hate driving anyway, but my missus now has a knee problem so I've got to do my share! These few Golden Days!!!! What a drag it is getting old! Love, Ham.

Hello sweetheart, I've been messing about for hours putting a new fan in my downstairs shower room, the old one had burnt out and I really haven't felt like doing anything for ages but I'm great now, biking all over the shop, honestly I thought I'd never feel well again. This extractor fan nearly went out the window mind, you know they work off the pull chord on the light, simple enough you would think, but I got a bit confused to say the least, my missus went out! I wouldn't care but I fitted the thing in the first place! I've never had much luck with fans! Well savoury pancakes cooking, we have the big pancake race in Wallingford, biggest event of the year, the schoolkids love it. All My Love, Ham.

Morning Sweetheart, up early and I just realised I've been chuntering away and you have had so much on your mind over the last few days, nevertheless I'm thinking of you, all my love Ham.