h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Honest Pinky. I'm not worried. I've got to start Warfarin, I'm just waiting for blood results now, back for Eco, a kind of heart scan on 7th Oct, all I'm peed off about is that my holiday is stretching further off into the distance till things get sorted. My missus and her sisters are down in Henley at the moment. I'm reading the Lost Girl, DH Lawrence, haven't read any Lawrence for years, and it's great. He really can write about women better than any other male writer I reckon, how would I know I hear you ask, just that's the way it seems to me! Love You, Ham.

Hello Ham , I am also 'home alone', nice bit of peace and quiet for a change. Have you watched the new version of Lady Chatterleys Lover on TV ? I haven't , but I have to confess DH Lawrence is one of my favourite authors,a miners son you know, from Nottingham ? Well you probably do , preaching to the already informed here , sorry ha ha I agree with you, he was very much in touch with feminine emotions , personally I think he was probably bi sexual , he once said , the only true love he had in his lifetime was when he was sixteen and he loved a young miner. I've thought many times of writing about him , his life and my personal views , but , much like my Bronte story , I'm certain I'd be drummed out of the country or just sued for millions I don't have ha ha ha best to keep my books just for my eyes alone I think Ham ha ha ha , safer .

I'm so happy with your positive outlook on heart beats , blood and tests Ham , honestly , things can change day to day,hour to hour they can't tell you how you feel. Think about this though, how wonderful your holiday is going to be when you do get there , best holiday ever I bet ☺

Right , I'd better get myself motivated to get something done ,I'm not used to lazy Mondays, I could get used to it mind ha ha ha easily !
I'll write later Ham , thinking of you . Love Pinks xxx

Nah I didn't watch lady C, can't think I've read the bool since looking at the dirty bits when I was about 13! Just finished The Lost Girl today actually, fantastic, I'd never heard of it though I've read lots of Lawrence really. Sons and Lovers was on our reading list for my post-grad literature, I think that's supposed to have strong homo-erotic overtones, don't really know but a great book. England my England is simply the greatest book of short stories I've ever read, trust me and get it out the library. We've been up to Oxford, took my sister -in-laws up, I bet you think I'm terrible but honestly they're a pair of invalids, there's more pills knocking around my house than in the back room in Boots! They want to go to London on Thursday, of course my missus has to escort them, honest they'd never make it. The younger one has mobility problems, unspecified of course, 'oh its since me stroke', as far as we know she's never had one, hammers the benefits office all the same. The elder has obvious signs of advancing diabetes, she's on a whacking dose of oral insulin, her eyes are failing and she eats all the sweet stuff she can get. We went to Wetherspoons today, (where else?) she had a mixed grill and left more than half. She's sitting downstairs now eating sweets and drinking squash, my missus will be feeding her with cake and custard later, I'm not kidding! They don't get out of bed till about 10, Goodness I'm yammering but honest, bliddy family, Love Ham.

You don't have to explain anything to me Ham , my phone call came today, my brother (Shepherds Bush) he and my nephew are coming up next Tuesday for a 'few days'( now where have I heard that before ?) Guess where they're staying ? Precisely , my house ! What did I say ? 'Ooo can't wait!' ... Why ? Ha ha ha Me Mam's excited so what else can I say really ? Bang goes my computer for a few days. I know just how you feel Ham.

Well I'm off to Gretna Green tomorrow , nooo not eloping,just the flower fair ha ha ha I've got more brains now Ham (I think) ha ha I'll write tomorrow when I get back , so it might be late. Enjoy your day of peace ,I'm jealous ☺ Love Pinks xxx

Gosh Pinky if I was a free man we could be leaping the anvil, keep in touch, Love you, Ham.

Sods law, they've all gone off to London, I've got unlimited computer time, and you're up in the Lowlands, weather should be good for you today, enjoy. Tensions are running high a bit here. I was cleaning our standard lamp out, my missus was upstairs drying her hair,I didn't realise and needed something, 'He's shouting' says my sis in law, the names Rob says I smartly perhaps but what a cheek! It's a sister thing I suppose, the blokes just cease to exist! They're going to meet up with my great niece. I'm not exaggerating they're both invalids, my niece has a daughter and told my younger sis in law that she didn't have time to meet them today. She's a bit of a hopeless case, lives on benefits, in London mark you, and always scrounging off my sis in law who feigns illness and lives on benefits too and passes a lot of her money on to her! Anyways she's now agreed to meet them on Oxford Street but isn't bringing the bairn! It'll just be to collect some money off Linda, my missus is seething but feels obliged to go along with it cos she'd worry herself sick if they went on their own! She would never make a Social Worker my missus, it would have been case closed years ago if it was me. I just thought you'd be half interested in the machinations in our family! Have a great break, Scots pies hinny, Love, Ham.

Just wrote a very long message to you Ham and lost it. I'll write it all again later when I've calmed down ! Love Pinks xxx

Dinna frettle petal, whenever. I can't get moved for company, my missus is driven around the twist. She's taken them up to Wantage, I've got to meet my mate downtown so just thought I'd look in. I got a new keyboard at last, I think I told you I'd worn the letters off the old one, so my typo's should be reduced dramatically. £10 off ebay post free, you can't beat it! I don't know if you're up or doon, but I'm thinking of you wherever, Love, Ham. (Oh I watched a movie last night 84 Charing Cross Road, Ann Bancroft and Anthony Hopkins about a long correspondence by letter, reminded me of us!) Love Ham. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/84_Charing_Cross_Road_(film)

I'm Back I'm Back! Return of the native, Love, Ham.

Hey ,stop bragging ,they let me back too Ahh *sighs with relief* Back in our cosy chairs ,surrounded by books ,a lovely fire and a nice cup of tea ...*kicks my shoes off ,sits back and takes in the scene* Home ! hahahahaha I am so pleased Ham ,even though ,'the other room' ,did us proud ,it's just not 'home' is it ? I feel like dancing hahahaha BUT I really do want a cup of tea ,I've woken up at this ridicules hour and saw the gurus loved me after all hahahaha I'll write later my darling friend ..Welcome home Love Pinks XXX

Goodness Pinky. congratulations! We've actually been back a couple of days but things have been happening, as they do of course. While we were away in Bournemouth we got a call, our old next-door neighbour who we've remained firm friends with called us while we were away to tell us her mum had died, my missus had been going in daily to see the old lady, at the same time my neighbour's husband is in a hospice locally, would you believe it, one way and another we've got involved a bit. They want to send her husband home and the only bed that she could give him is the old ladies, and of course he's a big fellow and they need a special sort of bed, that's coming tomorrow, but can you imagine the state she's in! of course you've had such a rotten time of it, I hope you don't mind me explaining. Oh I go under the knife on 3rd November, I don't know whether to sing or shake! I'm really glad we got away for a while, honest this hotel was a lot of fun and surprisingly good for the money, great value. I think I said on the other site, it's the Hotel Celebrity. The first thing we see when we get there is a blue plaque saying Tony Hancock lived there and gave his first performances, apparently his parents had the place for a few years. I'm going to send this now or I'm sure to lose it but I'll mail from here from now on, actually I seem to remember I can send photos on here, when I sort my camera out I'll give it a go, we were staying in the Sylvester Stallone room, I couldn't get Sophia Loren or Claudia Cardinale could I, just my luck, Love Ham.

Here's a link to the hotel Pinky, we had Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor right opposite us but they had the do not disturb tag on the knocker, heaven knows what they were up to! Love, Ham. http://hotel-celebrity.com/celebrity-rooms/

Welcome home Ham , what a fabulous hotel, the Stallone Suite sounds good to me ha haha I wouldn't of complained at all. You can't satisfy some people ha ha Sophia Loren indeed ! Reaching for the stars tut tut ha ha I'm so pleased you had a lovely few days Ham. Always something though eh ? So sorry to hear of your friends death , then trouble for others with illness , I totally understand the stress and upset . I don't mind you mentioning anything at all Ham , honestly , it's just sad to think of people having to go through so much upset and heartache. It's so sad.

Sooooo, November 3rd then , you'll be a new man Ham , and think of the beautiful pain free walks you'll be able to take next spring , it'll be wonderful. You'll be fine , I might even enter you for the Great North Run next year ☺

I was going to mention football derbies , but now I know you have to go into hospital Ham I wouldn't do such a thing , I don't want you getting high blood pressure or anything ha ha so I won't say a word ha ha Sending this now with all my love ,I'll be routing for you Ham . Love Pinks xxx

PS.Wonder if the Al Pacino room's up for grabs ? Ha ha ha I wish ha ha Love Pinks xxx

Derbies, who let you back on here anyway? I see the Toon are appealing to the FA, bliddy pathetic and embarrassing. Nah I can't wait to get my leg sorted, sods law of course we've got all sorts supposed to be happening that week. We went to this great museum place in Bournemouth, the Russell-Cotes museum, all kinds of art packed into quite a small space, fascinating. Then we went to Poole on the bus! You know Bournemouth quite well I seem to remember so you've maybe been there. Dark nights, miserable really, my daughter is on holiday we're minding her cats which have practically moved in, whingey black things, just right for Halloween. How's your dog by the way? Full grown now I suppose, I'm starving today a bowl of Weetabix at lunchtime and tuna salad this evening, what good is that to a growing lad? Honest I could eat a scabby dog by the next morning after a starving day, I wouldn't mind but my weight is hardly plummeting! Well roll on the rematch, I bet we've both changed managers again by then, mark my words! Love Ham.

They're appealing to the FA ? It's god they should be appealing to for a miracle ha ha ha Sorry Ham I couldn't resist , you walked into that now haway now admit it ha ha ha Geordie across the road , I saw him trying to 'sneak 'into the house with the shopping , I shouted over 'Only one word to say to you , SUNDERLAND !' He put the shopping down , gave me what I am taking as the victory sign , what else could it be anyway ? ha ha He picked up the shopping, ran into the house and slammed the door. I reckon I'm off his Christmas card list this year , I've got him one with a black cat ha ha ha and it will say 'Better luck next time !' Yes Ham , I am gloating , while I can cos there'll be nothing to boast about next week , we've got Everton I think , lost already.

Always the same Ham , you can count on it , no matter what date the hospital had have given you , something would have been going on , Sods Law.
Yes me Dads sister lives in Bournemouth , Moordown , we used to go there when we were bairns , I adore Poole , a beautiful place. I've not been for years now Ham ,such happy memories . Right off to get bed me Mam has got to go for a scan at the hospital in the morning , I'm going with her . I hate hospitals , I always draw the short straw though . Speak later Ham Love Pinks xxx

PS Notice please how I totally ignored your remark about your daughters beautiful 'black cats', I love them ha ha whingey indeed , I'm not biting Ham I'm not ha ha . Our Bonnie is beautiful Ham , she's been a real treasure , don't know how I'd have coped without her really Love Pinks xxx

F me! Black Cats and I didn't even twig, that's their treats stopped! I've got three of them honest, taking up residence, my daughter's two and Sidney, whose been visiting for nearly two years now, sits on the patio table there staring in the window till I give in and feed him, my missus goes mad, but a few months ago we had a terrible storm and she got up and let it in! I've idled the day away again, my missus has been down to Reading all day with our eldest granddaughter, it's really good, Eve, my granddaughter rings her up and asks her to come to town. She's courting now, my granddaughter, not my missus as far as I know, she was 18 last week, I just sat around, oh blood test this morning, read about 100 pages of my book, I won't bore you with the details, oh and finished fixing the shower which had fallen apart! I've played records all day as well, skiffle stuff and surf instrumentals, don't ask why I just like it . CD's are passé these days, I remember when we got our first CD player running down to buy a CD, it was a Nat King Cole album actually, which I still play. I like to listen not have headphones clamped on, where's the fun in that? I don't know, I've played and sang all my life, music is a social thing, if it's not that it's nothing, mind you my next door neighbour tends to disagree but we're not speaking anyway!!!! Love, Ham.

Good evening, I'm just turning in, I've been listening to the Boro kick Man U out of the League Cup, great. I've had to buy some of those short things they use instead of pyjamas these days. I've never worn jimjams, I gave my last ones away years ago to a mate who was going into hospital, and of course I need some now, for the very same reason! Hopefully I'll be home the same day but I've got to go equipped! The only time I've ever had to stay in was when I did my Achilles playing Rugby, 1986, I remember it well, that bliddy hurt I can tell you. I've been to Oxford today, lovely day as well, I'm rambling but I just thought I'd drop a line. Love Ham.

Hello Ham ,I know ,unGodly hour ,but I had a nap earlier (fatal) now,I'm wide awake ,I thought ,I know my best friend ,that's who I'll pester Your it !

What news ? Well ,I'm invited to a Halloween party Saturday ,like a fund raising thing for charity. Guess who'll be telling fortunes ? Cross my palm with silver and I might tell you hahahaha Went to the fancy dress shop today and got my HUGE gold earrings and bandana ,dug out some coin belts ,found my gypsy skirt and gold shawl ,I'm ready to roll !Just pass me my crystal ball,I might go down to the prom and get a booth hahahaha Make fortunes and retire

Took me Mam for her scan ,won't know any results until next week of course, the waiting is the part that gets everyone stressed.

Yes Ham ,pyjama's, an absolute must for hospital. My husband never wore them either ,then when he took ill ,he was getting pj's for his birthdays ,Christmas ,I can't even describe the look on his face when he opened them hahaha a picture I can tell you You won't need them for long ,honestly once this over ,you'll be up and about in no time .

The weather has been quite mild here too ,I went for a walk along the beach on Sunday ,it was beautiful to be honest and no people ,well a few walking their dogs ,so peaceful.

I didn't see the match but well done Middlesbrough ,makes me proud to come from the North East ,at last hahaha . Beating Man Utd ,it's wonderful news.

I completely agree with what you're saying about music Ham ,but truly ,don't you think we are becoming unsociable creatures these days ? Technology ,as wonderful as it is ,seems to be segregating people ,families even ,in the same house. Everyone going off to do their own thing ,in their own privacy. I mean ,the days of Ludo and family jigsaws seems long gone to me ,and story telling. I used to love one of my uncles coming over to our house when I was little ,we'd put off the lights ,just the flickering flames of the fire and he'd scare us to death with ghost stories. I mean ,yes we nightmared for weeks afterwards ,but it was just so wonderful at the time . Those times seem to be like a relic of long ago days,the kids these days would say 'Thats not scary anyway!' We were petrified to go to bed for months hahaha They sit there with their headphones on ,walk around with their phones and iphones and tablets ,I'm talking away ,they don't even know. Different world Ham ,and sometimes you have to wonder is it for the better ?

Before I become totally melancholy ,I'll send this then try and get some sleep. Have a lovely Thursday. Love Pinks XXX