h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Argh! I just broke down in tears in front of my boss! *stomps foot angrily at poor self control*

And it didn't help at all that he was really nice and understanding about it - quite the opposite, it made me cry even worse!

Bother, bother, bother - had to spend 10 minutes just splashing cold water at my blotched face...

I hate it when that happens to me. Fortunately, it is only once in a blue moon.

Come again. (Can you tell I'm a fan. )

As you know, crying is a very healthy "option", but it doesn't make you stronger/self confidence.

Expression of your own spectrum of feelings dóes make you stronger.

So you need both.

Right - the alp photos and postings have been delayed somewhat.

And while I had a lovely time in Austria, I realized some things once I was home again.

Every time my mother phones me she nags.

Every time my mother sees me she critizes me. Have you gained weight? Has your bum grown wider? Isn't your tummy pouting more than usual?

Usually, my weight stays pretty much the same, so my answer is always 'no' - but does she believe it? Nope, she puts on her 'dubious' look. Argh!

Before this trip, I *had* made a serious effort to look better. Did anyone notice? Nope.

So when she called me after we had been to Austria, I was a bit put out - and she has the nerve to ask me 'are you drunk?'

Bah!

I obviously need to get a *lot* grumpier about my mother's comments about my appearance *and* her constant nagging!



Time to stop saying 'yes mother' and 'no mother' on the phone - from now on I need to tell her I won't talk to her unless she's willing to have a *decent* conversation... *grinds teeth*

Mothers can be so controlling. I alternate between wanting to protect my mom and wanting to smack her around. She seems to think she has the right to say anything to me that she pleases.

You do a lot for your mother. I know it's hard, but maybe you should confront her and ask her why she insists on making nasty remarks. Would she even recognize that she's doing it? Sometimes I think my mother is in such a world of her own that she doesn't have a clue how her remarks affect me or Lady C or anyone else. When I challenge her on anything she always acts shocked and hurt.

I hope my mother will behave when she grows up. Wait! Now something went wrong... See, she is the only one in the family who has weight problems, so we are allowed to nag her. She keeps balancing between 50-60 kg, the rest of us are way over 100. So we are bigger and know better.
But she has never been much of a support either. More likely she asks for my and my brothers advice. That's actually why I said "when she grows up", this out little mom.
I still think neighbours are more trouble than any family members or friends.

The nagging, the constantly wanting to chance another person is most times an unconscious act - a bad habit in short. I think you're doing right if you point it out to your mother, little by little, Titania.

Sig. S.'s parents have nagged each other all their life, and when Sig. S. tells them it is a problem for him and that it makes him very sad to listen to the two put each other down, they hardly know what he is talking about, are shocked and say it is just for fun.

But it does nobody no good to constantly have one's faults and flaws highlighted by another person.

In Denmark irony bordering to sarcasm flourishes. It is very difficult for people from other cultures to understand, and I definitely don't like it: You say the opposite of what you think or you give your opinion a nasty twist - for instance as an endearment. Very confusing - and cowardish in my opinion. Then a person doesn't really commit to where he or she stands.

My mother is great. She taught me always to get the best out of what life offers and she and dad always supported my decisions. They considered them good because *I* made them. For instance when I wanted to mary this Irishman - and again when I wanted to divorce him. No 'I told you so's'. I don't think I've ever been criticised - only encouraged by my parents. We have disagreed and discussed matters - fiercely, but we have also listened to each other and accepted solutions to favour one part and then the other. I hope I'm doing the same with my kids.

ask your mother "kindly" if she wants the same questions and comments from you

something along the line of "if you promise not to lie about me i promise not to tell the truth about you

Grey.

And dull.

There was a time when I felt I was trying to climb up.

But now I'm stuck on a shelf.

Below me, complete darkness.

Above me, but out of reach as yet, light.

But right here, and right now; dullness, greyness, I-don't-give-a-damn-ness.

What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?

It will get better. I know it's very bleak now, but it will.


You have my email. I have yours.

Hope your spirits lift soon.

Do talk about it. Anywhere, wherever you feel safe and comfortable.

Quote; Time to stop saying 'yes mother' and 'no mother' on the phone - from now on I need to tell her I won't talk to her unless she's willing to have a *decent* conversation... *grinds teeth*


Sounds good, Titania, despite the long and whinding road ahead we all need to go in such circumstances.

So I don't care about how many Moderation rules I break when posting this reflection in its orginal form; Swedish:

Hör jag hemma här?
Med min jämngrå lunk
Inget maniskt
Inget självdesctruktivt

Inget evigt pendlande
Mellan dal och topp
Inget fysiskt skadande
Av mig själv

Ingen önskan
Att ta livet mig själv
Ingen önskan
Att skada andra

Men ändock
Avsaknad av livsgläde
Avsaknad av engagemang
Avsaknad av sällskapssjuka

I stället
Drar jag mig tillbaka
Som en snigel i sitt skal
Och isolerar mig där

Isolerar mig från omvärlden
Isolerar mig från släkten
Isolerar mig från vänner

Ensam
Existerar
Nätt och jämnt

Titania - don't isolate yourself. Please. We are a lot of people who like you and have been inspired - like I was when you introduced me to Stockholm: exhibitions, otters, obesity, fantasy, kindness, warmth and humanity.

Titania, you are all the best I could imagine in a human being. Besides being humorous, entertaining and good comapany.

and

You are always wellcome at my place - anytime.

Excuse my English, typos etc. You want it in Danish?

Danish would be fun, but I think we'd better not attract too much Moderator attention

Feeling better today - and since I work full time, I *do* meet people on a regular basis. I think my current trouble is that I still find it pretty exhausting mentally to work full time, so that I have less energy to socialize in my free time.

Sounds like part of the healing process, and a good idea to remain alone to recover when you're not at work.

But it might be a little more fun to work a little less and play a little more... could you have the doctor arrange fewer hours at work, in order to have less to recover from, and more energy to socialise?

And yes, I remember the dullness, but actually more before the drugs than when they had kicked in. But at least they moved the baseline up towards some more light.