h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*releases Liam, the magical Irish possum then wanders off to buy a powerball ticket*

I won't forget you Liam when I win. You'll have beet soup with sour cream and cheese blintzes for life. *waves*

*waves*

So. What we gonna eat now?!? Borshch?

*Lurking at the firelight's edge are several small vegetables. Behind them, pushing them forward, are the proud centurion crests of beet greens, nodding and waving in happy abandon.

In the middle distance we hear the sour lowing of Bossie the cow. She ate one to many jalapeños. Or maybe it's just her attitude. Just in time to harvest...sour cream.*

I have my peas planted. English peas and snow peas.

Whose turn is it to tell a story?

--- good afternoon to you all, and late St. Pat greetings to the Irishman --- does the Emerald Isle ever call you to cross the Atlantic, to kiss its shores?

You going to the Ozarks Leo? New York sounds so great --- my friend wants to take me to her family in Brooklyn. she tells me that she will buy me bagels at four in the morning if that's what I want --- which I do -- my friend is Jewish --- she is gorgeous-features and I want to marry her ---

hey, I have decided that all you people (that would be all of you - you Ozark destined road movie wandering tribe) are the long-forgotten hope of the 21st century. when you are all history, somewhere in the minds and notebooks of your grandchildrens' grandchildren, you will be celebrated and studied by historians and anthropologists and sociologists and people who know about possums.

sometimes I arrive at my computer and check my cactus-space with fear and trepidation, thinking that the delusion-paramedics will be waiting for me, to return me to the place from whence I came ---

but no! I find many minds already here, illuminating my screen with unusual aspects of this human society, and the parameds don't seem to have taken you yet .....

do you think you will be able to beam Ozark photos over? Ozark video??? pleeeeze. Phred should be bearing a photo of me and Chris, and Leo has seen a photo of us already --- its not as good as being able to kiss you all, but you know ...

Steve - your backyard sounds great! Just my kind of thing! I love to bare all -- its kind of a holy feeling I think -- while the big birds circle over - I love sundials and thistles -- you a Druid? just wondered for some reason, stonehenge vibe. an astrologer anyway ---

Hyp my honey-pie --- you have opened up history to me -- its kind of the way you write it --- your love and wonder of the subject -- you are like a caretaker of the jewels -- yes, I will read the post --- I will I will promise -- might need a duck flyer to remind me though --- no, course I will ---
you got any gardening writings also?

cathedrals are amazing -- Exeter is our nearest --- I sometimes sit on a bench outside it, and look up at all the gargoyles and things through binoculars --- I love Chichester cathedral.

castles are amazing too -- Leo is right, we do seem to have them in most towns! being a bit sensitive (a bit ...understatement) I have to watch atmospheres -- sometimes find places of history a bit dark -- I pick up ghosts and blood and scary heaviness if there is any to be picked up --- once had to run out of a gallery in Florence, Italy --- became very ill--- found out it had been a torture chamber at one time --

I feel the need to establish my own footprints amongst the footprints of my heritage -- being the ...'alternative' type. I think all aspects of reality can co-exist - provided there's 'live and let live' - in fact, I could probably take tea at the Palace quite cheerfully and talk about ...possums named Liam ---

gotta go --- shine on you wondrous creatures of legend

H

Hi Helen,

Liam seems to to have disappeared. I suspect he has a king-hell hangover this morning, judging from the intemperate language he was using yesterday and the spent Guinness bottles littering his empty cage floor. Apparently he charmed someone into opening the door.

All the trees are full of buds or flowers. The Dogwoods, Red buds, Cheery blossoms and Daffodils are in full bloom. They are as strange and alien as Spanish moss, Palm trees and Orange blossoms might be to some who have spent their lives in these temperate climates. Robins migrating north and frisky butterflies seem to be providing hints of things to come. This is my first Spring. Maybe I should follow it North to Alberta.

Spring is definitely on the way in the Ozarks. Phred's location is usually a week or so ahead of us here in beautiful downtown Webb City.

I......ahem.....felt sorry for Liam and he did give me this amazing magic bottle of Baileys.....won't know if the lottery numbers are any good until tonight...so I uh let him loose. He smiled so sweetly and was a real smooth talker.

how magic is that, Phred -- your first spring?

something about those daffodils, something about that light, something about something --

Alberta -- Canada? amazing --

I love different vegetations -- I remember the first time we saw the Saguaro cactus near Tucson -- drove us crazy with poetry!

something about spring --- some inexplicable hope --- almost like a homesickness for a light beyond the light --

uh oh. better go.

H

Aye, he was in such foine fettle, our Liam. Sure, an he was inspired by the Guinness...aah, the blarney-tongued scamp

I had planned to clip the winter growth on my face at the equinox, but becoming impatient with the many consecutive rainy weekends, I decided to jump the gun, and did it last night. I woke up to blue skies this morning. Perhaps the clouds will migrate east to the Ozarks?....

Perhaps I can begin preparing the garden this weekend. Helen, I do understand the holy vibe. It's like, the communion between the living being and the living planet. (Have you ever watched hummingbirds dance?)... I feel that I'm, well not precisely Druidic, but a heathen pagan, zen and skyclad in his sun-garden, listening - watching - feeling. Thence come true spiritual vibes. The whole person exposed to the numina of earth and sky, without barriers, camouflage, or pretense.

It helps, being a sun-child. I've always tanned well, but fade so quickly. Am I addicted to rays? Perhaps.

Zen and skyclad under the stars? Well, that requires DEET (insect repellant). But anyone who has spent even a single silent moment under the stars, experiences that numen immediately.

The 'freedom' of naturism is more than just the unfettered body...the consciousness learns to break free as well, from the artificially imposed guilt and shame trips.

oh yes, Steve -- your words are like springtime!

never seen a hummingbird -- yet -- one day perhaps!

for how many months of the year is it warm enough to be naturist in the sun in California?

yes, we are sun-kids -- been going to naturist beaches for about 15 years now --- I know what you mean --- so great to get those rays all over the body --- mainly, like you say, to ease the mind -- we have to wait till about June for the beach here to open up --- have to go to the sauna in the winter ---

I love the easy mind feelings that come over me when swimming naked in the sea --- except of course when the jellyfish are in ---

we are rather fond of playing naked frisbee --- and no-one bothers, as everyone is also in their own naked skin!

each to their own delights eh?!

we don't have a garden of our own --- we share a lawn and some flowers with the four other apartments in our house --

that's why I like it when you and Hyp write about gardens --

us writers can trade realities can we not!

shine on you Zen skyclad heathen pagan wonder soul!

Helen

It's generally good between now and October. If your spot is sheltered from the wind, the rays are quite warm outside of the summer months. Here in the Central Valley, the climate is quite different than the coast's. Warmer and drier. The Pacific is quite cool at this part of the coast, on account of the Alaska current. South of Point Concepcion, by Santa Barbara, the warmer tropical currents prevail. Personally, I'm more of a river bather, and there are river beaches around Sacramento where bathers can be found.

I pulled some weeds today. The thistle is gone! One of my sons must have uprooted it. But, some jasmine infiltrated through my neighbour's fence, plus some runners with nice little blue flowers.

Frisbee! Tres , y'all belong in Cali. (Volleyball, anyone?)

http://home.comcast.net/~zendruid/wsb/media/1250392/site1009.jpg

Drat. I wanted to hear Liam's lifestory.

We have crocuses up, so it must be almost spring . That's about the only way to tell.

The only thing that we've managed to grow in our backyard is the usual tacky city flowers and tomatoes and cucumbers and mint. But anyone can grow mint. It would be surprising if someone failed to grow mint. In fact, we do our very best to avoid growing mint, but it grows anyway.

And there are cheese blintzes in the toaster downstairs. No borsht. ()

Every century past has thought that it was the cat's meow, yet most of their advanced technology paled in comparison to the century following, and alot of their science has been dismissed by moderns as bunk.
Wondering: what great ideas of modern science will be snickered at by the future? What aspects of our social existence will go down in textbooks as, "In the 20th and early 21st century they beleived that..."?
Just thinking.

Superstrings? Speed of light barrier? One-way time flow? Democracy (snout-counting)?

The citizens of the techno-empire called the US, in the early 21st century, believed in a concept called the right to privacy. On July 4th, 2006, the estimated 15 megaton dirty nuclear detonations in the cities of Springfield, Missouro and Tacoma, Washington, led to the immediate passage of the revised Universal Identification Patriot act, which required the implantation of an RFID chip with GPS and voice transmission capabiities in the left shoulder of all citizens and to the eventual deportatiom of all illegal aliens. A byproduct of a having a constant permanent record of the physical location and speech of each citizen was the near elimination of crime and an 1000% increase in the price of tomatoes and other produce.

Dangit! Was dat sucka goin' afta mah stash? Ah, snap, boi!

*carefully checks the contents of the mayonnaise jar before screwing the lid back on*

Dat's reet, suckah! You be needin' yo' mawnin' medicine, true dat! All dat Guinness...!

Hey Xantief? What are you doing up at 3AM on Sunday morning (besides boiling inocent possums)?