h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Dang, Helen, you sure are busy before breakfast...

I have my own private area in the backyard...it's not a beach per se, more like a riverbed. I had set up a little sundial, plus there is a fairly large thistle that I like to tend, not that it takes much attention.

I went over to check the possum, and he said, 'Sure, and you're here to open my fekkin beer, then, Micky?'

Said his name was Liam today.

Sure and could I have a pint of in' Guiness dark, instead of that in' Sam Adams swill bein' as how today's a special day?

..and some in' Cheerios for a in' change now?

Liam? I knew a Liam once. Or was it twice?

We have an Irish possum? Who knew! *gives Steve a large bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios*

Speaking of Sam Adams, I can indeed buy it here. So there's no need to transport it from California. I also noticed that the Guiness is on sale in honor of the day. If I could buy just one bottle to see if I can get it down without wanting to hurl, I'd try it. But I'm not wasting my money on a 6 pack. Not that I couldn't find a bearded cousin to take it off of my hands, but I'm not in the mood to go sober him up enough to drink it. The Jameson is on sale this week, too. We are becoming absolutely cosmopolitan. I also saw some Bushmills and Michael Collins. And something called Killian's Irish REd. Looked like beer.

Phred, I'm glad to see that all the time you've spent in Arkansas has taught you how to select an appropriate vehicle.

One of the attendees, Marv the Grate, has suggested that I decorate for the meet by putting a truck up on blocks in my front yard.

Liam?
*vaguely recalls 8th grade geography class*
Isn't that some place in southeast Asia?

Anyway, Steve is on my friends list, and nobuddy messes wi' mah frends. Got it?

Can't wait to read his journal entries.

Steve, can I tempt you with some takeout?

Yo, Steve, I got a bling Guiness medallion you could wear...it's also a bottle opener. Here's some cheese sauce for your cornflakes. Just pretend they're nachos.

Q: How many H2G2 Researchers does it take to eat a possum?


A: Two, one to eat it & one to watch for cars.

Two vultures get on an airplane, each of them carrying one dead possum under each wing.

The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentleman, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Pretty morbid sense of humor Possum Steve has.
*nods approvingly*
Have another lager.

Er... for the sake of identification, does Xantief now get that terrible 'N' tagged on?

Does Liam/Steve have a shot of Bailey's for my coffee?

*checks clock....seven hours and I go back to being non-Irish again for another year....I need to find that leprechaun with the bag of gold in a hurry*

Beggorrah, my fair Hypatia.

You've gone and captured a magical Irish possum fairly and you know I must grant two wishes.

You will notice there is now a bottle of Bailey's in your right hand. 'Tis a magical bottle that never ever runs dry.

Sure and what would you like for your second wish, my darlin'?

Cheese blintzes and beet soup with sour cream, please LeoAlpha. I'm sick of corn flakes.

If you think that's bad, I have one that I'll post on my personal space as a journal. Read it if you dare.

You might be a redneck if you think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 MPH.

*Greatly admires her magical bottle of Baileys and considers what to make her second wish.*

Since it's impossible for even a magical Irish possum to grant me what I truly wish, I believe I'll take a winning Powerball ticket worth at least $100,000,000. May as well go out in style.

Remember that old Hillbilly saying....The one who dies with the most toys, wins.

Do people actually eat cheese blintzes with beet soup?

Possums like cold beet soup with sour cream. The cheese blintzes should be consumed separately.

Here are your numbers 1, 27, 36, 42, 44, 57

Would you please unlatch my cage now?