h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This isn't a joke - I'm available and I don't charge (well not much) and I'm well worth it

do you travel?
although, seeing as how I have you naked on my table at the moment anyway...

I certainly do - I've cycled to Cleethorpes hundreds of times. Talking of which my bum could do with a massage as it's saddle sore

Anything to help.
What have you got if you have 100 men buried up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.

Why do men always look stupid?
Because they are stupid.


enough man hating?
Never!

That looks a bit funny, the anything to help was for GB, not Shellers. Massage your own bum mate.
Unless it's really lovely and firm from all that cycling, in which case.....
hmmmmm...

Oh it is, it is...

hmmmm....

I like nice bums.

The love of my life thinks (thought) I've got a wonderful one.

Whose got a nice bum?

Well Jamie Oliver has anyone else seen the latest Sainbury ad.

I have!

Turn around then.

*puts on (fake) sincere, concerned & serious look

Can I just remind people that this is a family site?

*goes back to normal

*does a slow twirl

See - told you so.

DD, are you making it your mission to try to chat up blokes that I am chatting up? Or is it coincidence?

nice butt Shellers.

Coincidence.

Yeah not bad. Must be all the cycling.

Mina - was that 'nice butt Shellers' or 'nice, but Shellers ' (try saying it)

If anyone's read the 'celibacy' conversation - I'm open to offers (all major credit cards accepted)

No payment needed Shellers.
and "butt" with two t's is usually "bottom"
or even, nice arse Shellers.

OK DD, I'll let it go this time. A third time would be too much though, ok?

That was a joke Mina. As we're on the subject, what's yours like, and don't be coy as I've already seen alcohol and glue abuse on the same photo

That's not even me, it's my ex and his brat.

~Mina slowly spins round~

like my hot pants?
I've been told I look really hot in them..
But that was by two blokes whose celibacy record must stretch to years..

I'll reply after my (newly made) appointment at Specsavers tomorrow

Ermmm, was your ex the older of the two?