h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*reluctantly, PP stops considering the possibility of following SG onto the Horrible Somethings' ship...*

PP: OK... We'll have to wait and see what SG does over there...

*walks over to Alien*

PP:: How are you doing with beaming up our crew members? Need any help?

DD, we may not have that much time before they attack...be as quick as you can be...



*E looks at Aliens progress...it looked like alomost all of the crew had been beamed up...*

Yep, I believe I've got almost everyone here... I wasn't exactly sure which ones were crew members but surely no one else would have been accidentally beamed up...?

No no-one else could be beamed up...they don't have the donut communicator, which is what the transporter gets a lock on...

Well done Alien, that's one less thing to worry about now...

*Flicks several switches on the UFO control panel. Turns a dial. Slides a lever.*

I think it's ready now.

*Opens a small door and pulls out two cups of coffee.*

Here you go, Affy.

*from the weapons control array*
flippin' Windows '98, the damn things crashed...curse you Bill Gates!!

Oh, it's alright, I've got it back now...weapons are fully charged E. ready to fire on your command...

*E looks at the viewscreen, the Horrible Somethings didn't seem to be doing anything...*

Don't fire yet, SG hasn't returned yet...and there are still some crew aboard...he's bringing them back...

We have to wait a little longer...

But at the slightest sign of trouble...you know what to do...

Aye, wait for your order to fire...

...continuing to hold with this firing lark...

how does this work ?
ah thats it

prepare for multiple beam outs I estimate I have about 90% of the crew and im working on the rest but this is one big ship. I keep having to reset the timer on the singularity grenade. suggest you start beaming people out from this location and i'll just keep herding them here. pick me up in a few minutes


SG races back down the corridor on the hunt for more of the zombified crew members stopping breifly to tie his shoe and reset the timer again a thought hits him that they may try to fire on the ship


firing in this ship would be a big mistake. If this grenade goes off it'll wipe out half this solar system which is why i placed the make shift tacheon resonator by it to send them to a different dimension first.


close call

cool sound
SG to anybody who's free
some help would be good I would have brought seven but when i looked around he was gone

*Hears SG's message. Grins*


I think I know who can help you. Now, I was going to use this ship to track him down, so I think I can beam him to you with instructions. I'll also give him the details. Since the importance of the Galaxy is at stake, I'm pretty sure he'll follow most of my orders.


*Turns on the UFO's makeshift transporter. A few moments later, the PDCC appears on Affy's hands, and a bewildered, but obedient, Ampton appears in the Horrible Something's Scoutship*

I've finally found Ampton. Okay guys, ready? Garius, thanks for the coffee. D, believe me when I say that I hope you, out of all the red suits, manage to survive. Okay, here we go!

*The ship exits the docking bay of the Esirpretne, fully arms the shields and weaponry, and awaits a possible attack. Notices a neutral Retarc Labs, Inc. ship not too far away. Because of the obviously primitive design, this ship doesn't notice the Crater Labs, Inc. behind the cloaking device, SEP Field, and pingpong ball-sized asteroid between them. Affy grins*

Okay, maybe we can take down just one ship before the fighting starts. Ready? Aim . . . FIRE AT WILL AT THOSE LOUSY COPYRIGHT INFRINGERS!!!!

# Meanwhile... on the surface of disney planet #

*Dr. Croz (looking like a cross between Bones McCoy, and Rambo) is single handedly leading the assault of the captured Magical Kingdom, putting in all that top secret Donut Federation Section 42 training into good use.*

*Oops, shouldn't have mentioned that. Just forget I ever did ok?*

*Wanders onto the bridge to find Tatty poised iver the fire button*

Is there anything I can do? I can beamdown and help SG - I should be there anyway...

*runs to the transporter and uses his remaining Bjorg implants to override and activate the transporter and send him down to SG*

Hey - need a hand, better late than never...

*Notices that SG is looking slightly stressed so he turns up the volume on the Classic FM that his Bjorg communications system is picking up in order to calm him down*

I think I've found most of them but they keep wondering off before they beamed out. if you cold just stop them from running away we can get off this ship and out of this sector before the Horrible Soomethings arrive in force

*Grins maniacally as he fires the UFO's snowball cannon. The first shot takes out the pingpong-ball-sized asteroid. The Retarc Labs ship starts to turn away to run. The second snowball flies up the ship's impulse engine exhaust and the ship bursts in a spray of white. GL and Affy cheer wildly.*


HA HA HA HA HA
We have take out the Retarc Lab's ship. Our scanners are now picking up a fleet of large ships approaching. ETA one hour. Recommend immediate evasive action. I repeat: let's get the hell outta here. Over.


We had better get back to the ship, Affy.

*Bluebottle comes out after spending some time in "It's A Small World".*
Hmmm - how, curious. No wonder anyone was in there...
So, where is everyone?

*Quickly checks the progress of the rescue of the crew from the other ship...sees that it is almost completed...*

*2 seconds later the rescue of the crew was complete, and everyone had beamed back aboard the Esirpretne*

Get the rest of the crew from the planet up here now...if that's the Horrible Somethings on there way...well...we don't want to be sitting here like...erm...sitting things...

Get us out of the way...not necessarily a long way away...just find a place where they won't detect us & lets watch & see what they do, OK...

Computers are back on-line

Great, so that means we can get out of here then...

Ahem. Could I have one of those extremely useful donut communicators too...?
What's the plan from now on?

*Replicates Alien a donut communicator & hands it over*

I guess we see what the Horrible Somethings are planning to do...from somewhere they can't see us...

SG might know of a way we can defend ourselves against them better...but until then...I guess we watch...

*A quick scan of the area reveals an abandoned moon orbiting the planet...*

BB, take the ship there...they shouldn't be able to detect us from there...