h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Panel at the side of the bridge explodes, sending a red shirted crew member flying across the room*
Keptin, the shields are down!!!
Vhere are the klingons!!
*As if in reply, the klingons beam aboard, dressed in full battle garb*
It's a double cross!

*starts to battle the Klingons, but even with his Bjorg implants - he isn't matched against the Kilngons hard heads*

Capatin - we're under attack - Hang on, I have an idea

*uses Bjorg sensors on Checkout*

The alchohol levels in Lt Checkouts breath are so high that even a Klingon shouldn't be able to stay concious when subjected by it!

*mumbles*
Never trust klingons...

*ducks and covers behind the control machines just in time before a klingon shoots her head off*

*E grabs the bottle of bloodwine off Quorn*

STOP OR THE BLOODWINE GETS IT!!!!!!!

*E holds out the bottle, ready to let it drop on the floor & smash at the slightest thing*

*Finally finishes running to the bridge after reading a week's worth of backlog. Runs into the klingons who are worried about the blood wine. The klingons are just startled enough for Affy to pull out his snowzar and freeze the klingons. Looks around*

Well, did I miss anything?

*A huge especially evil-looking klingon stands behind Affy ready to smash him.*

*appears for the first time in about a fortnight, and spangs the Klingon who was behind Affy with the butt of a phaser rifle.*

Now then, if we could just...

*beamed away by something weird... and you can follow him to http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?forum=37895&thread=48260 , part of the all-new, all-groovy Esirpretne homepage...*