h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hey chaps! has anyone got £6.50/$9.99/Russian Ruble 552.554 in change ? window cleaners just cleaned the solar panels

Tell them you will pay next time

did that last time, it's always me that has to go to the door, t'other astronauts seem to disappear

Tell them your out

I stuck 1000 wigs on the side of the Space Station, told them there WAS air outside. When they space walked to find out, I shouted over the tannoy "April Fool"

plus it was November

Stop chucking bits of out of the airlock! You'll not get the to leave, they ain't THAT stupid

It will go moldy and it will return to earth when the orbit decays
People will think its bits of the moon y'know "green cheese"

burns up in the atmosphere

that's why the astronauts never bring junk back home with themit's chucked out into space and no dustbin-men go up for it

Ah toasted cheese

have you ever seen an countries astronaut/s get out of any capsule carrying a bin linerso! where does the trash goit ain't recycled it's lobbed out to "float" down and burn up

So from space the Earth looks a bit like Saturn with its on ring made of beer cans, crisp packets, take away wrappers and banana skins floating around it.

yep! they say there's paint flakes in orbit, travelling at around 17 thousand MPHthey don't say about the and chewing gum foils

So that's what the term floater means

OK! which idiot has hung their washing outside ? there's NO air to blow them dry, plus were on the dark side of the planet so no sun eitherfor a few hours

What about the solar wind

clever bugger

Beans in space

don't light that after eating beans, you'll get a solar flare and it's painful

The man in the moon is drunk again after he had an all night drinking session at one of the Real Inns in the Shire. He was still up in the early hours of the morning when the sun popped up her head.

We have been given a set of 42 computerised food and replicator units (transform light and matter into food) from a group of very eccentric, generous who only communicate in technobabble. They also have gifts of Star Trek The next Generation tri-corders and other gadgets that really do work and are not just props. All they ask in return is to join in one of our knees ups which involve a lot of drinking of