h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well! Today followed yesterday and tomorrow follows today. But as tomorrow is in front of today, how can it follow?, as that would mean it would have to be behind and then it couldn’t be tomorrow or even yesterday, as yesterday isn’t called tomorrow?. It could be that be that tomorrow follows ON from today, but no one really says that in conversation. Also we’re heading INTO tomorrow, is a bit daft, because you could be heading west and away from tomorrow or not even moving in the first place therefore stationary. Then! Your heading nowhere and where’s NOWHERE? Because if it’s nowhere or anywhere, how do you know if your there and or even what direction to go in. If you head east, then that’s heading for tomorrow and that could be classed as heading somewhere. Then again! Somewhere isn’t tomorrow, so count that out. In any case! It’s pointless asking someone if they have the time on them, because time isn’t a solid thing, so they can’t physically have it on them, yes, we know they might be wearing a watch, BUT that is still not the time, as it could be wrong and is also relevant to the time zone you’re in at the time, it can only give you an approximate time, the watch that is. I mean! If you ask! Someone “Can you tell the time” you can’t tell it anything, as before, time isn’t a physical thing so ears aren’t in the question, another one is “how time flies by” what do you look for, do you have to duck if it’s flying low and if time flies by, has it taken tomorrow with it and you’ve missed it. So now it’s not tomorrow, it’s the day after, which means you’ve also missed a today, making the yesterday you knew, to be the day before yesterday that is now the yesterday of today. So now! If anyone says “tomorrow never comes” you can say in reply “but you could have actually missed tomorrow because it’s now possible its yesterday”. Well! Today hasn’t been so boring, I’ve wrote this and as I started it last night which is part of yesterday, that means I could have thought of it tomorrow, so I might be writing/reading history while it’s being made in the future, time will tell! If it could speak, which it can’t! So the question is irrelevant, not that there was a question to start with. Well! Today will continue for the time being.
Reread if in doubt!!!!!!

"Yesterday this day's madness did prepare." - I don't remember who said this.

Just as today will be yesterday tomorrow.........

Or, in the words of the Bard......

'Eat, drink and make merry, for tomorrow we die....'


GT

That's progress I suppose.

another step towards total insanity (I'm there already, but I'm making it look good)

The trouble I find is I am stuck in a world full of mad people as the only sane person The voices told me so
Infamy, infamy, they've all got it informe.

Well, tomorrow arrived today and doesn't look any different to yesterday so I'll wait till tomorrow and see if things improve then.

So... tomorrow follows today if you're heading west...

But yesterday is behind you if you're going East...

So logically, if I am heading East, with yesterday behind me, and I turn round, I'm heading for yesterday with tomorrow following me. So when today ends... I'll be in yesterday AND tomorrow at the same time...?

Ha ha, take that Einstien and your faster that light travel not possible theory, infinite mass Obviously never heard of worm holes and warp drive

What you don't understand is that if you go from Europe to America during the two weeks between when we change to summertime and you do, and don't go back fast enough...

You lose an hour of your life and never get it back.

Time is a man made invention of his imagination to gain more work out of humanity and does not actually exist so thats why you cannot see it fly.It was invented to create order out of chaos and to give some kind of constuct to life.

"Time is an illusion..."

Tell that to y boss when I get back 5 minutes late from break!!

Yesterday is behind you, tomorrow is in front of you, whstever you're doing.

Any anomalies are made up for by the International Dateline, a creation of convenience agreed arbirarily by the shipping companies in the days og High Empire with no scientific basis.

"The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday- but never jam to-day.

'It must come sometimes to jam today' Alice objected.

'No, it can't,' said the Queen. 'It's jam every other day: today isn't any other day, you know.'

'I don't understand you,' said Alice. 'It's dreadfully confusing!'"

Van (happily confused )

one of my philosophies:-

Always look to the front, to see what you can learn. Only look to the back, to see what you have forgotten.

That's OK for you interlectuals who can tell back from front, bert wot abowt the rest on us? And aren't you pushing your space/time analogy a bit far? What about sideways?

with MY shapehalf the time I look sidewards anyway

look at the back to see if you would

look at the front to see if its worth it