This is the Message Centre for Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 641

msmonsy

Pierce...I knew straight away the loons you were bringing it to smiley - winkeye


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 642

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

hehehe smiley - winkeye

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 643

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

MSM, bring in the jokessmiley - smiley


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 644

Rosa Baggins daughter of Pronto Baggins and Mimosa Bunce

What do you get if you cross a dog with an elephant?

A really nervous postman.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 645

Rosa Baggins daughter of Pronto Baggins and Mimosa Bunce

What do you get if you cross an explorer with a cat?

Christopher Columpuss.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 646

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

what do you get if you cross a parrot with a lion ?

a bird that shouts Polly wants a zebra

smiley - groan


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Post 647

Rosa Baggins daughter of Pronto Baggins and Mimosa Bunce

Where do shellfish go to borrow money ?
To the prawn broker !


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Post 648

msmonsy

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces:

"I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 649

msmonsy

Hydrogen and Oxygen are in a bar, in walks Gold and they say AU get out of here

i was going to make a joke about chemistry but the good ones argon


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 650

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

3 pieces of string walk in to a bar, the first goes to get served and the barman says get out, I'm not serving a piece of string. So the second one tries and the same response from the barman. The third one goes to the bar and the barman says ARE you a piece you a piece of string as well - the string says "no! frayed knot"


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 651

Pit - ( Carpe Diem - Stay in Bed )

Sooner or later there will be another civil war - Yuckshire breeds better puns.smiley - ok


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Post 652

Rosa Baggins daughter of Pronto Baggins and Mimosa Bunce

Q: How much do pirates pay for their earrings?
A: a Buccaneer!

Q: What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
A: a Toy-yoda.

Q: What is the biggest pencil in the world?
A: Pennsylvania.

Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the fridge?
A: He saw the salad dressing!


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 653

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

and the smiley - tomato blushed


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Post 654

Rosa Baggins daughter of Pronto Baggins and Mimosa Bunce

What is small, red and whispers? ...

A HOARSE RADISH..."


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Post 655

msmonsy

TOP 10 THINGS MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.


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Post 656

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

The list goes ever on and on...

smiley - pirate


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Post 657

Rosa Baggins daughter of Pronto Baggins and Mimosa Bunce

Are you lonely?
Hate having to make decisions?
Rather talk about it than do it?
Then why not hold a meeting!

You can: get to see other people,
sleep in peace, offload decisions,
learn to write volumes of meaningless notes,
feel important, impress or bore your colleagues,
and all in your work time!

'Meetings' the practical alternative to work.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 658

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

smiley - smileywelcome MSM - add jokes any time ok! more the merrier
I like that onesmiley - biggrin


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 659

msmonsy

If a police officer pulls you over and says "I have been following you for a few miles." Its not smart to reply "Isn't that borderline stalking?" smiley - silly


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Post 660

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

Elderly lady was stopped by the police who claimed she was drunk

Lady: I'm not!

Officer: What does it mean when two lights are coming towards you?

Lady: I guess it's a car

Officer: Correct, but is it a Volkswagen, a Buick or a Mercedes?

Lady: I don't know

Officer: You're drunk! What if it's only one light?

Lady: Motorcycle!

Officer: Correct, but is it a Harley, a BMW or a Kawasaki?

Lady: I don't know

Officer: You're drunk!

Lady: If you see a smiley - diva in the street wearing skimpy clothes, fishnet stockings and a lot of lipstick, what is she?

Officer: Probably a hooker

Lady: Correct, but is it your daughter, your wife or your mother?

smiley - pirate


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