h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In Shepherds Bush the crafty shepherd was learning bush crafts via a radio programme from his Bush radio which left him feel rather bushed.

Why does Thanos get unlimited hot drinks everywhere?

“He has the Gauntlet of Infinit- Tea!”

When Iron Man goes to the fairground, he always rides the ferrous wheel.

Thor forgot where he put Mjolnir. Then it came to him.

Emma Frost and Ice man had a bit of a frosty start but with the help of Storm, really stormed ahead. Blink and you would have missed them. But I must say that AlienSuperMage might wanna check his lilandra as im coming through the raft.

I decree the Kree for Skrulling through it has shown it sown by someone clearly Inhuman. I'm not sure who started it, but I wouldn't put it Beyond 'er (or maybe it's a Gae-a?) to continue.

Given that, Wayping better S.H.I.E.L.D. himself for I'm going to AIM to have Wayping eat one Hulking Ban H.A.M.M.E.R.. His Brood-ing Punishment of a post history is nothing but a Blob of Wolverine Back hair.

The blonde wanted to ginger hair colour and become a brunette

The blonde's hair fell out. She felt ablondoned.

The septic system truck driver had a sweet tooth. He liked to visit the ice cream shop for a hot sludge fundae.

I got lost one time while on the way to Cape Cod. Then I saw signs for Wareham. "Wareham I?" I wondered.

She worked in a restaurant that served fish. Every time she opened the refrigerator, she would seafood.

there was a fight in the fish and chip shop 2 haddock got battered and another it's jaw knocked out of plaice

"What shell we do about this mess?" the wailed.

If at first you don't succeed, fry, fry again.

barbie queued, but the heat got to her

Her boyfriend said "I ken how she feels"

His hair was light and his head was angular: he was fair and square.

A man was driving on an icy, abandoned road when he noticed a road sign with half of it torn clean off. 'That's a bad sign' he thought to himself.

I ordered 4 boxes of petticoat* tales biscuits , 4 boxes of tablet fudge ** on my tablet. When they arrived I left I had been given the wrong order as I was sent a ladies petticoat and bottle of vitamin tablets. When I complained all they did was fudge the issue.


* petticoat tales are a type of shortbread in Scotland
**tablet is another word for shortbread in Scotland.

It was a tern up for the books when I watched a bittern and sandwich tern at a nature reserve in Sandwich in Kent. The birds bit off more than they could chew when I saw them pecking at a large wholemeal salmon sandwich.

he was a very thorough child, but it was upsetting to see him throwing rocks at every seagull on the beach.

When I asked why he was doing this, he said, "I'm leaving no tern unstoned."

Who dances around in top hat and tails, and is so thin he can fit through the eye of a needle?

Thread Astaire.