h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Carephilly think about it and camembert your soul to me, unless you aren't crackers. Still having a rye sense of humour is ok, but don't wine so much.

4 cheeses a jolly good fellow

went on a cheese diet - I'm stilton

Did you hear about the gourmet shop that had a psychiatrist on the staff in case the blue cheese needed treatment?

blue cheesecan't have swearing on here, it won't get pasta the mod'szzarella

In Louisiana, when it's hurricane season, people see things in the wind the wind and say, "What just blue bayou?"

if you hurrycane you catch it?

Annie Ford the Avon lady from Strat-Ford upon Avon could only af=Ford to buy a second-hand Ford car which she bought with the money she got from winning the football pools.

way down on the Suwanee River - glug glug! just realised I can't swim

I tried to sail a lead boat on that river, but it tended to weigh down a bit too much.

it could have been those sinks, in the cabins, sinks aren't good for boats

There was a whole raft of other problems with this boat, as well.

one swallow and i had goose bumps

whats with all this fornication??? I said, man the oars!!

Mandy Lifeboats

I was tempted to follow the 'oars' theme and observe lifeboats go down on Davits, but as for Mandy, I'm not sure.

Mary Mary quite contrary - so you've got an headache yet again eh!

Mary had a little lamb.
Its fleas were white as snow.

Martin always drove his friend Austin in his Austin Martin whilst I drove a mini wearing any of my vintage 60's mini skirts.

My friend Monty who worked as music maestro in Monetego Bay only drove a Monetego to work but if it needed repairing or servicing he would then drive in his Maestro car.

Roy of the Rovers drove in his Rover car when he played at anyone of his matches and when he took his dog Rover out for a walk.

I have never met *anybody* who actually kept gloves in the glove compartment.

a tool box could be a dangerous place as well