h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yard_glass

My doctor wanted to put a small window at the base of my cranium, but I resisted. I thought it would be a pane in the neck.

I had a delivery but it was unpalletable.

When Dot danced the polka she wore a polka dot dress when she was visiting Aca-polka.

she asked the doctor for some contradictive pills, he said are you ignorant! she said yes! 2 month

I went to the loading dock to get my order, but it ap-piers it was sent elsewhere.

it could have been jetty'sond

If they6 don't find it for me soon, I don't know how I'll stay afloat.

I'll help buoy you up and it'll soon be plain sailing, I've in'tide'er news

But is your information current?

I'm raisin my hopes up and getting updates on the flower

You're looking very spruce fir one of your age. Mind yew now the Dahlias are getting shorter I shall leaf till spring.

oak kay, I'll cedar yew later

I don't want tulip to conclusions, because that would violet everything I believe in.

she was raisin hell after i ate her grapes of wrath

two lips from hamster jam is cruel song

On honeymoons lettuce alone salad is the top favourite requested meal for honeymoon couples which is always served with butter beans, romaine hearts and drizzled with honey dressing.

keep out! salad dressing and lettuce pray

The undertaker had signs on the loos - Hymn and Hearse.

A prisoner escaped, and ran into a funeral home, where he hid in a coffin. His location was a dead giveaway.