h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

F1926355?thread=5128083&post=111139050#p111139050

post 271 or is it 721 ? Pierce

back to punning

virus lockdown, can't go out as such - so I'm doing a pun-run round the house

*Back* to punning?

I didn't know you had stopped. Well, you could try front to punning.

Nup! I changed direction

You could also change your director.

The store sold me cut-rate food for my horse at an exorbitant price, then had the nerve to send me a 'customer service' survey. I didn't hesitate to give them the feed back.

His beard is so thick, when he eats food he mustache some of it away for later.

- Hey Tom, what's that music you're listening to?

- Tom Waits

- For what?

We were going to ship a truck load of food, but we found it just wasn't palatable.

Long lines at fast food cause wait gain.

Scientists have failed to get pandas to eat synthetic food, because they are hard to bamboozle.

I used to date a dentist. She was a real looker, but it didn't work out. The conversations were like pulling teeth.

I was at a raucous curry night when some people started throwing rice and a pilau fight ensued.

I tried a dating service. It was managed by a palm tree. My firts date was Coco-nuts.

So I dumped the service and hired a scientist. He offered carbon dating. My dates were much too old for me.Some of them were Paleozoic.

I tried a date'ing service they sent me prune juice

I once had a dalek. Her name was Kate.

She didn't last long. She was dalek-Kate.

Book now for the lecture on the expanding universe because space is limited.

Excellent pun, Rosa!

if the universe is expanding, shouldn't apace be unlimited?

I agree with Pierce - gud'un Kat

space

Controlling my bladder pisses me off