h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Anne built her own very life-like Star-Trek android who she named after herself and called the android Anne-droid.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

Get a load of that PC's clean record! It looks like nothing will deter her pursuit to be the top cop in the history of the borough, and no matter how much the 24-hour media cycle tries to spin her image, nothing seems to soften her reputation.

There are more moles than people in New York City. They live in all five burrows.

There was an unusual traditional remedy for removing facial moles after you the mole surgically removed find a mole-hole and put your removed facial mole down the hole and this is supposed to prevent the return of facial moles.

Some moles have moved into mole-bile homes and others still are content living underground and keeping themselves fit by keeping mobile when down underneath the soil.

There is a pastor in US who is known as the Holy Moly the pastor from Mole-bile, Alabama.

Moles favourite dish is guaca-mole-y.

Hedgehogs like to hedge their bets when they are placing their bets on the winner of a hog race. It is well known fact that the winner of the hog race are well known as road hogs because they are experts at hogging the road and when they become famous they love to hog the limelight.

At the burrow, the family home of the Weasleys, the garden gnomes shaped like misshapen potatoes have been known to steal the Weasley's enchanted wheelbarrow which they wheel down to their burrow and steal all the Weasley's vegetables from their vegetable patch.

I can barley make any sense out of that last one.

Alfie worked on a farm all day. At night, his girlfriend would ask, "Wheat's it all about, Alfie?"

"Doctor, this kale tea isn't helping my arthritis."

"Take two aspirin and kale me in the morning."

"Who's that blonde country singer with Moses?"

"That's Dolly Parton the Red Sea."

Moses often refused to face unpleasant facts. This trait dated from the time when he floating in de Nile.

I had a barley good time at the BATIAS stall at the fun run at the Barleylands Farm in Essex. Barley water was drunk by all who attended the event. It got noisy at times and could barely could hear what others were saying to me. One of the runners who took part said he always dresses as a clown because he loves to clown around at work.

Great puns Paul

Eating seaweed and kale will make you feel kale and hearty.

Grain farmers have a tough life. They barley survive from wheat to wheat.

The baker bucked the trend and went against the grain by baking bread using buckwheat and other varieties of ancient grains. She had to go wide and farro (far) to find a good source of organic cereals. The baker had to be careful when writing down her order and make sure that she spelt the names of the variety of grains properly.