h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Composers have to compose themselves when performing in public.

I just need a cup of Prokofiev and I'll be Pahud-up for the day.

I saw this and I thought I would show you. Do not use them, because, no-one would be able to Handel these pick-up lines. They'd simply tell the person to Bach off and stop Messiaen around.

Musicians need a leader because they don't know how to conduct themselves in public.

You're lucky if the composer of the Hungarian Rhapsody makes your acquaintance - you can add him to your Franz Liszt!

During the late baroque era, rococo composers began to think outside the Bachs.

I thought Rococo was an ingredient in a hot drink.

Schubert (shoeBert) wasn't a cobbler

I built a bar out of oak. It turned out quite baroque

Interior decorators can get very emulsion-al when they are talking about the type paint that they use in their work.

Fruit cobbler is the favourite dessert amongst cobblers which they like cobble together after long day of making and repairing shoes.

Barristers are known to frequent the local wine bars while others visit the gymnasium where they practise gymnastics on the parallel bars.

Joiners and other wood work specialists like to listen to The Carpenters being played on their DVD player whilst they work.

Dick and Karen Carpenter had a penthouse suite which they painted in grayish brown. They called it taupe of the world.

After riding in the rain for 40 days and 40 nights, Noah landed in Arkansas.

It was hay fever season when Moses climbed Mount Sinus.

I went to meet the Pharaoh, but he was running late. His daughter showed me framed pictures of frogs, flies, etc. on the walls of the palace.

"What are these?" I asked.

"The Nine Plaques of Egypt," she replied.

Great puns Paul

The Rhinos at the safari came down with seasonal rhino-itis and had a particular allergy to grass hay.

Am I allergic to invisible parasites? I dust mite be.

I love bread. I’m a gluten for bun-ishment.