WELCOME TO MY PAGE

My favorite Haydn youtube recordings
A88013928


http://audio.wgbh.org:8004/" >http://audio.wgbh.org:8004/ />
Barbershop collection
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my favorite songs
A88006377

Carols I love
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Miscellaneous songs
A88010840

native plants I love
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santaic ver5ses
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murder in Crepuscular Meadows
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my best nonsense verse
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Sonnet: Blizzard of Ash

They were not loved when first to Heav'n they rose
("World's tallest tombstones" someone dubbed them then),
But gained respect from many of their foes,
Though not enough. Before the clock struck ten

That sunny morn, a glinting silver dart
One tower's side with cruel hatred struck.
A ball of fire sprang from out its heart,
And thousands felt the building sway and buck.

A second dart the other tower hit,
Another puff of flame, and from on high
The bodies fell, as droplets from a spit.
The towers crumbled. Thousands, doomed, would die.

Like tiny snowflakes, ashes tint with gray
The air, where no more light will shine today.



THE ELEPHANT


Blind men seven try to explain
What an elephant's like. The first says, "The main
feature's a tube, rubb'ry and thick."
The second says, "No, it's more like a stick,
Or four sticks, that is. "The third says, "No way!
An elephant's pointed and sharp. That, I say!"
The fourth tells of rubbery leaves, broad and flat.
The fifth says, "A very broad back, where I sat."
The sixth says, "A belly! This elephant's fat!"
The seventh says "Rope! it's braided like tweed."
They argued for hours, and never agreed






Top ten ways of knowing if an egg has gone bad:

10. You notice it selling drugs on the streetcorner.
9. It always seems to be leaning against Humpty Dumpty whenever he sits on walls.
8. It doesn't phone its mother. Heck, it doesn't even write.
7. It cheats the Easter Bunny every time the two play cards.
6. It refuses to come out of its shell when guests come to dinner.
5. It moons Faberge at every opportunity.
4. It refuses to go to any functions if the chicken will be there, because it wants to discourage speculation as to which came first.
3. It leads kitchen revolts on Egg Foo Yung Day.
2. It refuses to show up for the annual Easter Egg Roll.
1. It smells bad even if you cut off its nose

jesterjesterjesterjesterjesterjesterjester

ODE TO A POTATO CHIP

Potato chip, thou noble slab of starch,
With freckles brown bedotted 'round an arch,
Granitic fat doth sparkle on thy rim,
To thee I dedicate this little hymn.

Some Philistines with ketchup thee would drench,
Or use thee for a spade to dig a trench
In Onion dip or salsa. Tis a bane!
For I prefer thee in thy state most plain.

jesterjesterjesterjesterjesterjesterjester


We now resume our normally silly programming :-) Come on in. Make yourself comfortable. Have a drink. Ignore the strange creatures that scurry for the shadows as soon as you notice them out of the corner of your eye. They're probably just harmless carnivorous saber-toothed squirrels that haven't eaten in a month or so. Nothing we can't handle if we have major weapons at our disposal. Not that I have any. I hope you brought yours. :-) Down this hall to the left, we have a nice modern bathroom complete with shower. The cleaning staff has done a very good job of removing the last traces of blood from the shower stall. Even Mrs. Bates couldn't tell anybody had been murdered there. Wait, did I say murdered? Ha, ha, slip of >the tongue. I meant to say christened. The two words are so much alike, it's easy to get them mixed up. whistle The dining room boasts an enormous chandelier. It's a replica of a chandelier that Marie Antoinette was very fond of before her head got cu... Oh, there I go again, ha, ha! I meant to say before she cut her little finger while cutting cake to give to the poor, starving masses. Anyway, the dining room is right over a major fault line, so in the event that there's an earthquake, you won't want to be under the chandelier. The guy who installed it was a pastry chef who had never done any building before. He was cheap, though, which was a good thing. So, enjoy your stay at my page. If you need anything, just yell...


This may not answer your questions about me, but....Who is Paul H. and Why is he Harmly Mostless? If you are visiting my space for the first time, welcome! You will probably never get to meet me in person. You might not even want to :-). I am 5'4" tall, with a bushy moustache and thick (some would say unruly)grey hair (Update: closer to white now). We won't discuss my weight ;-). I have a penchant for collecting things: birthdays (I've accumulated 72 of them so far), music recordings, funny songs, and dinnerware patterns. I've tamed some of the clutter in my house. The rest will likely be someone else's problem biggrin I used to work at the reference desk in a public library. The knowledge I accumulated may not be as up-to-date as I would like. On the other hand, I spend much of the day looking things up on my computer. If the Truth is not online, I'm out of luck, though.

HOW TO SPELL MY NAME WITH SMILEYS pumpkin = Pangel = Aufo = U laugh = Lhotdog = H:-) Honorary Patron Saint of Ragtime Vogon Poetry :-)

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paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

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