Ekki Ekki Ekki F'tang Hala Hala Hala Bah-Whing (1+(30/6)*6+6=42)

Nothing to see here people - move along. That means you too ...

Oh, it's you. Why didn't you say so? Have you met everyone?

Everyone, this is . , this is Everyone.

The 14 groups into which animals can be divided according to "a certain chinese encyclopedia":

• (a) belonging to the Emperor
• (b) embalmed
• (c) tame
• (d) sucking pigs
• (e) sirens
• (f) fabulous
• (g) stray dogs
• (h) included in the present classification
• (i) frenzied
• (j) innumerable
• (k) drawn with a very fine camel hair brush
• (l) et cetera
• (m) having just broken the water pitcher
• (n) that from a long way off looks like flies

I like to think that I'd be a 'k' ... failing that an 'n'. If you would like to know more about the man behind the moniker, leave a message in this rather snazzy box and I'll see what I can do.

Bits and Roberts

Since my first few steps here in this often bamboozling but strangely adictive virtual world, I have, unlike the rolling stone of proverbial fame, gathered a fair bit of moss in the form of bizzare titles and positions of unauthority.

In the wider world they stand for little but in this world they are a passport to no end of excitement, adventure and spandex-clad derring do ...

• ACE Is down looking like up, and left bearing a remarkable resemblance to right? Does the word Alabaster bring you out in boils but you're not entirely sure why? Does the acronym ROFLMAO cause your eyes to water and give you the strange almost carnal urge to do the Cucaracha? If the answer is yes, no, maybe, don't be ridiculous, what, I'm sorry, DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH or White and One then choose a name from the drop down list below and ask away ... you could of course just ask me as I feature on said list and I've always believed something incredibly unbelievable which could explain why I'm having trouble remembering what it is.
• The Campaign to rename Thursday Thing¹Does Sodit just about sum up the beginning of your week? Does the day formerly known as Wednesday leave you feeling strangely unfulfilled? Are you forever struggling with the concept of Thursday? If you have answered Yes to any of the above and more to the point have an unhealthy urge for a somewhat grandiose title then you will be welcomed at the above. Tell them I, Ekki, Chieftain of Clan McThing and Unofficial Purveyor of Fine Wines and Cakes, sent you ... and for the journey. Oh, and don't mind Dogastrophe ... he's young and gets a little carried away.
• Musehome - Muse of Moos and Cow Juice Don't look at me like that just go there ...
• Keeper of Things that go *BING* ... It's a hell of a job but someone's got to do it
• Short Term Memory Loss Man - CHOPPERS Do you have a thing for spandex? Does wearing your pants outside your trousers in a shocking combination of lurid colours get your juices going? Do you have an unquenchable desire to fight the forces of evil? Can you smell gas? ...
• Ambassador to rodassabmA - The Foreign Office, Alabaster House I'm only it for the Foie Gras and the Mistresses ...
• The Royal H2G2 Procrastinators Society It can wait ...

Other Stuff

• Fish Adoption Society - Thanks to Tummyfish who on the 1st of July 2001 deemed me suited to adopting Charley Farley - a Fish-fish Fish of no fixed appearance.

The rest

The following list is of various people with whom I have had dealings ... if you want to be added to the list please send a stamped self addressed envelope with a cheque or postal order for 48 Altarian Dollars to:
Mor Teave Ikka
Digeridoo House
Tonbridge
Kent
TN2 6JB²

• Elly Without whom the guide would still be short of an entry on ing and I'd be short of an Israeli daughter . Just while I'm here it would be rude not to say a huge CONGRATULATIONS to Elly and Mike on their recent marriage ... all round.
• Abi Everyones Favourite ™ - Itallic³.
• Dragonfly Without whom a number of cloven hooved, bovine ruminants would be museless ...
• Tabitca If it wasn't for Tabitca I wouldn't be part-time penguin ...
• Lady Almasy The ever elusive, formerly 'Queen' ... when she's here, she's here, when she's not, she's not ... that's just the way it goes
• Archangel Galaxy Babe Keeper of Keepers and Everyones Favourite ™ - Archangel⁴

Favourite Entries

Besides those mentioned above, the following entries, Edited and otherwise, are personal favourites. This list is destined to grow and change as time goes on ... the fact that it hasn't grown is largely due to the fact that I can't be bottomed to find the page numbers ...

• Twiddle Go on. You know you want to.
• Crayons Sheer brilliance!

Other Excitments

• Who's Online
• Who's registered
• The Best Monty Python Site in the World Ever ...
• Calvin and Hobbes

¹Fellow Thingites should not take umbrage at the mention of the words 'wednesday' and 'thursday' - without their usage, it was proving difficult to get what I wanted to say across!²The above address is totally fictional. Any resemblance to people or persons in real life is coincidental³Of the sample population of 1, 100% of respondents agreed the Abi was their favourite . Incidentally, volunteer respondents in the form of Elly and Mike similarly concurred.⁴Of the sample population of 1, 100% of respondents agreed that AGB was their favourite

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