h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[The troll's sternum, being apparently solid rock, is bloody resilient and unharmed. It swings its fist down to hit Dirten over the head.]

*Dirten sidesteps the troll's blow and swings at it with his sword*

[Whilst immune to realistic physics, the troll is nevertheless vulnerable to RPG physics, and it roars, stumbling back as a big number jumps up from its body.]

[Troll] Roar!

[Yeah, like that. It charges at Dirten, reaching down to grab him.]

*Dirten dodges out of the way of the troll's grasp and swings at it's hand*

[Gandark] Hey - uh - what worked last time we fought a troll???

*casts Ice*

[Gandark] I think that was it...
Nerd42

[The troll attempts to grab Dirten's sword, only to have its hand cut.]

[Troll] Ouch! I mean, roar!

[The ice doesn't help matters, and the Phi Troll staggers back and collapses. That leaves ... let's see ... five Tau Trolls.]

[Wist]
*After ducking past a couple of trolls, Wist has scrambled up a tree and is casually fireing off crossbow bolts into the melee*

*Bareley pausing for breath, Dirten charges at the next troll*

[The crossbow bolts appear to have not much effect on the trolls. The troll Dirten charges at foots the bill, as it were, by dodging to the side and attempting to trip him.]

*Dirten easily leaps over the troll's foot, and does a quick about turn, slashing at the troll*

[Gandark] maybe it was Fire!
*casts Fire*
Nerd42

[One of the trolls reacts by exploding in a large orange fireball.]

[Armond] Careful with that! Tau trolls seem to be volatile!

[LQ finally returns to the fray]

[LQ] Hmmm...if they're volatile, it's still a quick way to kill them. Is a valid tactic running a long way away and casting long range fire spells on them? Or flaming arrows or something?

*Gandark casts Fire again in a particularly careless way*
Nerd42

[Wist]
*Extracts a small bottle from his pack, stuffs a bit of cloth into the top, shakes it a bit, then lites the end*

Fire in the hole!

*throws the burning bottle into the middle of the group of trolls and ducks around the other side of the tree to avoid the flames"

[Troll] Oh sh--

[A massive explosion rocks the area.]

[Gandark] That was .... awesome!

[Wist]
*wonders why he is no longer up a tree, but appears to be halfway through a hedge instead*

*Gandark examines the rather large hole in the ground created by the explosion*

[Gandark] Nothing like the smell of toasted troll in the morning.

[LQ] Just what part of "run a long way away" did you not understand? You know, light the blue touchpaper and retire to a safe distance? All that light...I'm not sure I can see anymore...

[Realises it's just that his glasses were blown off in the explosion. Picks them up and puts them on, embarassed].

[LQ] But still, I mean, what a health and safety nightmare!