h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Ma Chao] *Looks at Eric* Remind me again; who's idea was it to come down into this stinking hell?

[Eric] Mine, but hell is a lot warmer than this, so stop whining, sissy!

[Ma Chao] I'd rather be hot than covered in shi-
*There's a splash in front of them. Something large dived into the water, just beyond a bend in the sewer network.*
[Ma Chao] Umm... Sewers aren't home to anything except rats, right?

[Ribald] Dude, have you BEEN in a sewer before?? I mean, there's, like, all KINDS of monsters in here!!

[Ma Chao] OKAY!! I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC!!! Now SHUT IT or I'll cut your fu-
*Ma Chao disappears under the water. A glimpse of yellow scales and black spines is noticable before it too vanishes from view. Ribald and Eric cry out in suprise. Two more trails of bubbles appear, and two massive lizards, each six foot tall, leap out at the adventurers. Their scales are yellow, and they have sharp, black spines along their back. Their teeth are sharp and pearly white, and they look hungry...

[Yellow Lizard x2 draws near! Command?]

[Ribald] Oh, a fight! This I can handle.

[Ribald attacks Yellow Lizard A with Broadsword +5!]

[Lampwick] Er, are we riffing video game RPGs or pen-and-paper RPGs?

[Ribald] Both. I dunno, I don't care.

*The lizards close in, lunging at the warband. Ribald and Eric dispatch the first two, but four more appear moments after.*

I said, I'M going to establish what Ribald and Lampwick say or do. That includes Ribald attacking in response to being lunged at.

It's just bad form to control someone else's characters. Bad form, and against the rules. I mean, if you were playing D&D, you couldn't do that, could you?

The first wave has to die in order to create a sense of overwhelming odds. I wanted to build up a fight that would be more challenging for them; Two lizards in the open isn't hard, but four attacking from both sides are.

Anyway, won't happen again.


*Things looked bad. There were four of those lizards now, and they were smart enough to attack from two directions. The warband felt a sense of dread build up. In the close confines of the sewer tunnels, it became difficult to fight.
Ma Chao reappeared in a spray of water, screaming and plunging his spear into the first Lizard.*
[Ma Chao] I really, REALLY, hate this place!

~eric kills the lizard next to the one Ma Chao killed~

[Eric] That way!
~Eric runs whilst keeping to the wall~

[Ma Chao] I'm with you on that one!
*Stabs another lizard, but six more have arrived.*
[Ma Chao] We've got a problem...

[Eric] One that can be solved once we get out into the open

*One of the Lizards dives onto Ma Chao. He realises that weilding a 6ft spear in a tunnel 5ft wide was not entirely easy. Especially when you've got three allies in there with you. He quickly draws his wagisashi and slices the thing's head off.*
[Ma Chao] I'm with you! Ribald! Lampwick! We've got to find more room to fight!

[Eric] I think theres a chamber up ahead

[Ma Chao] Then I'm out of here!
*Ma Chao sprints past Eric and into the Chamber.
The Chamber itself has a large pool of liquid in the centre. It is three stories high, with pipes spewing water into the pool. Four more Lizards turn to face the charging Dragoon. Ma Chao leaps into the air, seems to hover above the first Lizard for a moment, then dives. The force of the dive is incredible. From three stories up, the blow had enough force to splatter the Lizard across the room. Ma Chao spins, smacking a second Lizard into the water with the flat of his spear's blade.*
[Ma Chao] Now this is more like it! Let's play!

~Erics Crossbow bolt strikes one of the lizards in the throat. Slinging the crossbow onto his back Eric runs into the chamber

*The Warband was hopelessly outnumbered, but with the extra space the Chamber provides, they could finally turn the tables to their favour. Ma Chao leapt again, slicing his spear down the back of one Lizard. He decapitated a second, and skewered a third in quick succession. Ma Chao didn't have the combat skill of Ribald or Eric, but he was faster and more agile, and the Lizards relied on ambush. In a straight fight, they were totally outclassed.*
[Ma Chao] I count six lads! Match that! The one with the highest kill count gets a drink from the other two...
*Ducks under a lunging Lizard, gutting it with a quick swipe.*
[Ma Chao] Make that seven...

~Eric draws a sword. Stabs one in the throat, blinds a second, slashes 3rd accros the chest. Eric moves in a neat, economical fasion, like a man surrounded by naked blades. 4 more of them die~
[eric]can we get moving?

[Ma Chao] I think so, looks like we killed them all... Okay, I think we want to go up there.
*Ma Chao points upwards. A doorway can be seen on the third floor. Light is pouring out of it.*
[Ma Chao] Must lead to the surface! Shall we? You can take the stairs that way...
*Ma Chao leaps, and lands perfectly in the doorway far above.*
[Ma Chao] Get a move on boys! This leads out!

~eric runs half the distance up the stairs when the high pitched scream starts~

[eric]what the...